Now you need IE7 or IE8 on your machine to get McAfee updates 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, January 14

The days are noticeably longer.
Soon they will get warmer too.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Only sick music makes money today. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. --- Mike Myers
One day, Doug was playing ball in the house, which was strictly against the rules, and he accidentally broke a vase in the living room. "Oh, no, my mom's gonna kill me!", he thought desperately. He frantically tried to fix it, any way he could. But tape, glue, even Superglue wouldn't hold all the shards together. He finally left the pieces in a pile on the table, and went to hide in his room. Soon, his mother came home, and he heard her calling him. "Doug, do you know who broke my vase? It's in here all in pieces!" Doug tried to drum up his courage, but at the last minute, he found himself answering, "No, Mom, I don't know." He cringed, waiting for her answer. "That's funny," she said, appearing at his door. "I wanted to thank whoever it was. I've never liked that ugly thing, and if it had not been a gift from your daddy's mom, I would have broken it myself years ago!"
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth . . ."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version Uh-Oh!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jonathon Sullivan, 31, Tewksbury, New Hampshire Picked The Wrong Spot To Burn Off A Buzz Reported by The Weekly Vice Jonathon Sullivan, a 31-year-old Tewksbury man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly drove drunk to a police station parking lot, where he proceeded to catch a few ZZZ's. According to Windham Police, a dispatcher was viewing live surveillance video of the police station parking lot at about 1:45 a.m. when she spotted a suspicious vehicle parked in the employee parking lot with its engine still running. An officer sent to check on the vehicle found Sullivan asleep in the driver's seat. Officers woke him up and administered a field sobriety test, which he failed. He was apprehended at the scene. Sullivan was booked into jail and charged with driving while intoxicated. He was released after posting a $500 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Steff Re: McAfee Update Dear Webby, I do hope that the injections are helping your eyes. Every time you have to go I am amazed at how much courage it takes - I doubt that I could do it. I have McAfee software on my computer, and I have been using Firefox instead of Explorer, but lately I have been getting a message from McAfee that the updates cannot be installed until I get a more recent version of Internet Explorer. I downloaded the IE7 and IE8 blockers that you have on your "tools" page and I have had no problem with McAfee updates until about a month ago. I know that you use McAfee and you do not use Internet Explorer, so have you had any similar messages? Do you have any suggestions? The simpler the better since I mostly use my computer for email and am lost with anything more technical. Thanks for all of your tech help, and my doctors appreciate the jokes. They are disappointed when I don't have one to tell them at the end of my appointments. Stay well. Steff Dear Steff Currently, and unfortunately, I am using Windows 7. Until the day my XP died, I have used only Firefox there too. I did a whole bunch of searching and it looks like Microsoft has gained control of McAfee. Since then, you need to have IE7 or IE8 installed for Microsoft&McAfee updates. You are allowed to use Firefox for regular work, but for Microsoft&McAfee updates, you have to have IE7 or IE8 ON the machine. It doesn't use it, of course, but it checks if you have it ON the machine. I even wasted almost an hour waiting for and arguing with the Taliban at Microsoft&McAfee. They told me exactly the same. The good news from Microsoft directly is that even with the blocker installed, you can manually download and install IE8. Just download and install it, so that Microsoft&McAfee will stop sniveling. You don't have to actually use it. Also, the current version of IE8 seems to be harmless and not causing any problems. Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use a Dish Drainer to Organize Your Desk Dish drainers are cheap nowadays and can be bought at the dollar store. You can use them to organize your desk and kids books in their rooms. Some drainers even have silverware holders to hold your pens and pencils. I thought this was a cool idea! Source: Simply Frugal By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of in- terest in household chores. One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here." The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper. The note read: "Neither does Bob Vila."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
» 3D Pencil Art

Today, Jan 14, in 
1641 United East Indian Company conquerors city of Malakka, 
   7,000 killed
1659 Battle at Elvas Portuguese beat Spanish
1690 Clarinet is invented, in Nüremberg, Germany
1699 Massachusetts holds day of fasting for wrongly 
   persecuting "witches"
1717 German mob leader "Sjako" sentenced to death in Amsterdam
1746 Bonnie Prince Charlie's army leaves Glasgow
1783 Congress ratifies peace treaty between US & England
1784 Revolutionary War ends; Congress ratifies the Treaty 
   of Paris
1785 Mozart completes "Dissonantenquartet" (opus 10)
1794 Dr Jessee Bennet of Edom VA, performs 1st successful 
   Cesarean section operation on his wife
1799 Eli Whitney receives government contract for 10,000 muskets
1799 King of Naples flees before the advancing French armies
1814 King of Denmark cedes Norway to King of Sweden
1858 French Emperor Napoleon III escapes attempt on his life 
  by Felice Orsini, an Italian patriot who was later executed
1861 Fort Pikens FL falls into state hands
1863 Battle between gunboats at Bayou Teched LA
1864 General Sherman begins his march to the South
1897 6,960-m (22,834') Cerro Aconcagua (Argentina) 1st climbed
1914 Henry Ford introduces assembly line, for T-Fords
1916 Dutch South Sea dike cracks
1929 Afghan King Amanullah forced to resign
1935 Oil pipeline Iraq-Mediterranean goes into use
1939 All commercial ferry service to East Bay ends
1939 Norway claims Queen Maud Land in Antarctica
1942 Japanese troops land at oil center Balikpapan in Borneo
1950 US recalls all consular officials from China
1950 "As the Girls Go" closes at Winter Garden Theater New 
   York City NY after 420 performances
1952 Snow storm in Sierra NV kills 26
1953 Yugoslavia elects its 1st president (Marshal Tito)
1954 Marilyn Monroe marries baseball star, New York Yankee,
   Joe DiMaggio
1960 US Army promoted Elvis Presley to Sergeant
1963 George C Wallace sworn in as Governor of Alabamaorever!"
1964 Jacqueline Kennedy's 1st public appearance (TV) 
   since assassination
1967 Sonny & Cher release "The Beat Goes On"
1967 Earthquake in Sicily kills 231
1969 25 members of US aircraft carrier Enterprise die 
   during maneuvers
1973 Tap dancer Ray Castle measured at 1440 taps/minutes 
   on BBC TV
1975 USSR breaks trade agreement with US
1989 1,000 muslims burn Rushdies' "Satanic Verses" in 
   Bradford England
1993 Polish ferry boat capsizes in storm, 50 die
1995 10,000s South Africans attend state funeral of Joe Slovo
2013  smiled

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