Code to make printer add date to page bottom 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, January 26.

Have FUN!

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"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." ---Johnny Carson Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else. --- Will Rogers
When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and her eyes widened. "Wow!" she exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look, like, twenty years younger." I told her to put a dollar into the " 'Like' out of context" jar.
>From Dianne It was a warm spring morning, and my husband decided to come home from work early to paint our deck. Before I left the house, I located all the necessary supplies and wrote him a note: "I put the paint in the closet downstairs. The brush is on the garage shelf." When I returned that evening, nothing had been done. My husband had left this written explanation: "I found the paint and the brush. Couldn't find the deck. Went fishing."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Trishia Moody, 26, Knoxville, Tenn Leads Deputies On High Speed Chase, Rams Patrol Cars, All While Holding Beer Reported by The Weekly Vice Trishia Moody, a 26-year-old Tennessee drunk was jailed Monday after she allegedly led deputies on high speed chase that spanned two counties without dropping the beer that was in her hand. According to the Knox County Sheriff's Office, the chase began after a deputy saw Moody enter Ashville Highway via the exit ramp and drive north against the southbound lanes. When the deputy activated his lights to pull Moody over, she ignored the deputy and punched the gas. At some point in the chase, Moody slammed on her brakes, left the highway and attempted to flee down a side road. When she reached a dead end, she turned around and rammed her vehicle head-on into a deputy's patrol car as he attempted to box her in. Moody then entered Andrew Johnson Highway and drove into Jefferson County. When a deputy pulled alongside her, she slammed into his patrol car, forcing it from the road. A Jefferson County deputy who joined the chase performed a pit manuever on Moody's vehicle, bringing the chase to a sudden end. Deputies that approached the vehicle noticed that she had been holding a 16-ounce beer in her hand during the chase. She continued to hold the beer until deputies placed her into custody. Moody was booked into jail and charged with aggravated assault, evading arrest, DUI, reckless endangerment and driving on a suspended license. Moody also had an outstanding warrant for her arrest. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Codes for date added by printer Dear Webby Good morning and I hope this finds you and yours well. A few weeks ago I had deleted the date/time that is printed at the bottom of pages from the printer. I need that date again, and can't figure out how to fix it. Thanks in advance. Keep up the great work! Chris Dear Chris I use &u &b &d in the footer field of the printer page set-up. &t &d prints the time and date. If you want the long date format, use a &D instead of &d If you want 24 hour time, use &T instead of &t &u adds the URL or file name to the footer. &b makes everything after the "&b" right aligned So, with my format, you get the URL or file name on the left, and the date in short format on the right. With some non-standard printers you try to accomplish the same by mousing around for a while, but most will recognize the standard code. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Switch Bottle Tops and Dispensers I get a really big bottle of hand soap out of Dollar General bubble bath, by using a Germ X large size bottle squirt top on the bubble bath bottle. By Robyn By robynfederspiel Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
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The passenger sat in the backseat, clutching the door handle and wondering if she could expect to survive the trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded streets,weaving in and out of traffic. The passenger watched as one pedestrian after another ran to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. She looked ahead and saw a truck double-parked on the narrow street,but not only did the taxi driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver!" the passenger screamed,"Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax,lady," he said, "just do what I do. Close your eyes."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm ok but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "Sheeet!"
3D Virtual Tours:

Today, Jan 25, in 
0066 5th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet
1340 English king Edward III proclaimed king of France
1531 Lisbon hit by Earthquake; about 30,000 die
1748 England, Netherlands, Austria & Sardinia sign 
   anti-French treaty
1784 Ben Franklin expresses unhappiness over the eagle as 
   America's symbol, same as everybody else's.
1790 Mozart's opera "Cosi Fan Tutte" premieres in Vienna
1838 Tennessee becomes 1st state to prohibit alcohol
1841 Hong Kong proclaimed a sovereign territory of Britain
1862 Lincoln issues General War Order #1, calling for a 
   Union offensive McClellan ignores order
1863 War Department authorizes Massachusetts Governor to recruit black troops
1870 Virginia rejoins the US
1871 US income tax repealed
1875 Electric dental drill is patented by George F Green
1886 Karl Benz patents 1st auto with gasoline burning motor
1905 World's largest diamond, the 3,106-carat Cullinan, is found in South Africa
1911 Richard Strauss's opera "Rosenkavalier" premieres, Dresden
1913 Jim Thorpe relinquishes his 1912 Olympic medals for being a pro
1914 Vatican puts Belgian Nobel winner Maeterlinck's works 
   in their index (you get excommunicated for reading books 
   that are on the index)
1918 US food administrator Hoover calls for "wheatless" & 
   "meatless" days for war effort
1920 Amadeo Modigliani's mistress jumps out of a window
1930 Cleveland's Terminal Tower opens (52 stories)
1931 Hungary-Austria sign peace treaty
1939 Franco conquers Barcelona
1940 Nazis forbid Polish Jews to travel on trains
1942 1st US force in Europe during WWII goes ashore in Northern Ireland
1950 India becomes a republic ceasing to be a British dominion
1957 India annexes Kashmir
1962 US launches Ranger 3, misses Moon by 22,000-mile (37,000-km)
1962 Bishop Burke of Buffalo Catholic dioceses declares 
  Chubby Checker's "Twist" is impure & bans it from all 
  Catholic schools
1962 Canadian Marine Service renamed Coast Guard
1965 South Vietnam military coup under General Nguyen Khanh
1968 Israeli submarine Dakar crashes in Mediterranean Sea, 69 die
1972 Stewardess Vesna Vulovic survives 10,160m fall without parachute
1979 "The Dukes of Hazzard" premieres on CBS
1980 175,000 pay to hear Frank Sinatra sing in Rio de Janeiro!
1980 Israel & Egypt establish diplomatic relations
1985 Edmonton Oiler Wayne Gretzky scores 50th goal in 49th game of season
1998 Intel launches 333 MHz Pentium II chip
1998 President Clinton says "I want to say one thing to the 
  American people, I did not have sexual relations with that 
  woman, Miss Lewinsky"
2013  smiled

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