PPT to Exe 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, January 29.

Have FUN!

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People find life entirely too time-consuming. --- Stanislaw J. Lec "The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps." --- Robert Benchley
woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He frantically blurts out to the operator, "O my gawd! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?" The operator, trying to calm him says, "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's really dead." There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot. The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house."
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Thanks to Jim for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version just to share ... have a great week! Jim
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Samantha Kurdilla, 22, Washington, Pennsylvania Jailed After texting "Smuggling Cocaine & Heroin In My Coochie" Reported by The Smoking Gun The 22-year-old was walking back into the United States last week from Tijuana, Mexico when a drug detection dog “alerted to a narcotic odor” emanating from her “groin area.” Kurdilla was walking arm-in-arm with James Perry, who announced, “I’m not with her” when the canine signaled interest in his female companion. Detained at a “pedestrian crossing facility” by Customs and Border Protection agents, Kurdilla was asked if she was “bringing anything from Mexico.” In response, the Pennsylvania resident “gave two negative declarations,” according to a January 18 probable cause statement. Claiming that she was returning to a Best Western hotel in San Diego, Kurdilla (seen above) told investigators that she had been partying with Perry, 44, in Tijuana, where they had been smoking marijuana. Despite Kurdilla’s denials, federal agents later determined that she had a condom filled with 100 grams of cocaine “within her vaginal cavity.” After being read her rights, Kurdilla admitted to drug smuggling “in exchange for compensation,” adding that the cocaine--worth several thousand dollars--belonged to Perry. When he was questioned, Perry reportedly confessed to the smuggling attempt, saying that he directed Kurdilla to hide the narcotics in her vagina so that he could resell the cocaine in the U.S.. In addition to the confessions, federal agents retrieved some particularly damning evidence during a search of Kurdilla’s cell phone. Text messages sent to an unknown individual left little doubt as to what Kurdilla was doing south of the border. “I’m smuggling cocaine and heroin in my coochie,” Kurdilla had written. No way to claim she did not know what she was doing. Kurdilla and Perry are scheduled for separate court appearances Thursday in U.S. District Court in San Diego. Tech Support Pits From: Jackie Re: PPT to Exe ? Dear Webby I was told yesterday that I could convert Power Point presentations to EXE. For some reason the 2003 free Power Point opener from Microsoft won't open presentations anymore. I Googled and found a few tips but do you know an easy way? Thanks! Jackie Dear Jackie Don't bother with converting PPS to exe, unless it is for your own in-house use only. Most virus and spam controls won't allow .exe files through any more. As for your 2003 PPS viewer, just un-install it. It probably got infected with soemthing nasty. Do a good virus scan and after cleaning up, download a new viewer. Nowadays there are many PPT and PPS viewers available. Open Office, for example, has a PPS viewer / composer included. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Rubber Band To Keep Cut Apples Fresh A cut apple that is held together with a rubberband to keep from browning. After cutting an apple, put it back together with an elastic band. This will keep it from going brown in lunches. By coville123 from brockville, ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A young boy came to Sunday School late one day. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy said, "No, there is nothing wrong. I was just going to go fishing, but my dad told me that I needed to go to church." The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing. And the boy said, "Yes he did, Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young man goes to the pet store, looks around, sees a dog he likes somewhat, and asks the manager for help. "I like this breed, but this one's legs are too short" he says to the clerk. And the clerk says, "What do you mean, 'Too short'? They reach the floor, don't they?"
» Rays... the wet variety

Today, Jan 28, in 
1523 Sermon of Constanz Zwingli defends 67 Schlussreden
1613 Galileo observes Neptune but fails to recognize what 
  he sees
1834 President Jackson orders 1st use of US troops to suppress a labor dispute
1861 Kansas becomes 34th state
1863 Battle at Bear River WA US Army vs Indians
1886 1st successful gasoline-driven car patented, Karl Benz
1896 Emile Grubbe is 1st doctor to use radiation treatment 
   for breast cancer
1900 Boers under Joubert beat English at Spionkop Natal, 
   2,000 killed
1916 1st bombings of Paris by German Zeppelins takes place
1917 English submarine K13 leaves Gaire Loch
1919 Secretary of state proclaims the 18th amendment 
1921 Hurricane hits Washington & Oregon
1923 1st flight of the autogiro (Juan de la Cierva, Madrid Spain)
1924 Ice cream cone rolling machine patented by Carl Taylor, Cleveland
1929 Seeing Eye Guide Dog Organization forms
1942 German & Italian troops occupy Benghazi
1943 New Zealand's Kiwi cruiser collides with Japanese sub 
   I-1 at Guadalcanal
1964 Unmanned Apollo 1 Saturn launcher test attains Earth orbit
1979 President Carter commuted Patricia Hearst's 7 year 
   sentence to 2 years
1980 6 Iranian held US hostages escape with help of the Canadians
1988 United Airlines Boeing 747SP, circles world in 36 hours 
1989 USSR's Phobos II enters Martian orbit
1991 Battle for Khafji in Saudi Arabia (begins)
1998 Thick Fog causes highway carnage in Belgium & Netherlands, 6 die
1998 Woman's Clinic in Birmingham AL bombed, 1 killed 
2013  smiled

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