Program to fill out PDF forms 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, February 5.

Have FUN!

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"This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient and the world will follow our lead into the future" --- Adolph Hitler, 1935
A handyman was working for a Synagogue had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work. First he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there, he would have to answer one question. The priest asked, "Where was Jesus born"? The man answered, "Pittsburgh", and was thrown out. He then went to a Baptist church. The minister told him that in order to get a job there he would have to answer a question. He was asked, "Where was Jesus born"? The man answered, "Philadelphia". He was tossed out. Walking away he met the rabbi who was looking for him. The rabbi exclaimed, "The board approved your raise. Please come back immediately". The man said to the rabbi, "I will come back only if you answer a question. "Where was Jesus born"? The rabbi says, "Bethlehem". Cries the man. "I knew it was in Pennsylvania".
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than a $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Cindy Patriarchias, 33 and Edmond Gonzales, 37 in Albuquerque, New Mexico Boneheads Lock Disabled Child In Cage, Take The Rest Of The Family To A Movie Reported by The Weekly Vice Cindy Patriarchias, a 33-year-old Albuquerque female and her boyfriend, 37-year-old Edmond Gozales, were booked into jail Friday after they allegedly locked an 8-year-old disabled girl in a wooden cage while they took the rest of the family to see a movie. According to police, Patriarchias and Gonzales reportedly left the girl in a handmade wooden cage while they went to attend a movie with their three children at a local elementary school. Investigators say Patriarchias is attempting to adopt the victim, who suffers from microcephaly. The three other children are the couple's own biological children. Investigators say Patriarchias's estranged husband was at the school and called police after he discovered that the child had been left alone. When officers arrived at the couple's residence, they waited for about an hour for Patriarchias and Gonzales to arrive. Once the couple returned home, officers entered the residence and found the victim locked in a cage that measured 4 feet by 2 1/2 feet. One of the couple's children told investigators that the victim had been routinely placed in the cage as punishment for misbehaving. Another child told investigators that he offered to stay with the girl while the family was gone, because the victim was alseep and wouldn't know why the family was gone. The victim was removed from the residence and placed into protective custody. Patriarchias, who works as a lunch monitor at a local elementary school, was booked into jail and charged with negligently causing child abuse. She has also been terminated from her job, according to school officials. Gonzales was also jailed on charges of negligently permitting child abuse. They are both being held in lieu of $25,000 cash-only bond. Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: PDF to text Dear Webby I would like to be able to edit some PDF documents. Such as forms or documents. nothing copyrighted just some common documents. Thanks Dear Ron For that I use Nitro The PRO version lets you convert stuff to WORD, but just for filling out Govt forms and signing them, before WINfaxing them back to the Govt., the free version works well enough. I don't bother converting to WORD or anything, I just click on "Typewriter" and "type" into the form. You can select fonts and sizes. Make a huge signature with a MarkAll and scan that, then reduce the size of it, sharpen it and make the background transparent, and save it as a GIF. Then you can insert your signature and make it look as good as if you had printed the form and signed it by hand. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Homemade Gardener Soap Put 3/4 cups of white sugar into a glass jar and add some dish soap. Then stir, you don't want it too runny. If it is, just add more sugar until you get the right consistency. Put a lid on it. You can use pink soap, it looks really nice. Great for gifts. By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to acess the popular "Ask Jeeves" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "Where did I misplace my glasses?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the little girl a quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl. Sunday, when they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given. "Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection the preacher said that God loves a cheerful giver. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave button, that I found on the sidewalk, so I did."
Wood-Chip Sculputres

Today, Feb 5, in 

1782 - The Spanish captured Minorca from the British.
1783 - Sweden recognized the independence of the United States.
1861 - Samuel Goodale patented the moving picture peep 
   show machine.
1881 - Phoenix, AZ, was incorporated.
1917 - The U.S. Congress passed the Immigration Act of 1917 
   (Asiatic Barred Zone Act) with an overwhelming majority. 
   The action overrode President Woodrow Wilson's veto.
1924 - The BBC time signals, or "pips", from Greenwich 
  Observatory were heard for the first time. They are 
  broadcast every hour.
1958 - Gamel Abdel Nasser was formally nominated to become 
   the first president of the United Arab Republic.
1988 - Panama's military leader, Gen. Manuel Antonio Noriega, 
   charged with of bribery and drug trafficking in Florida.
1997 - Switzerland's "Big Three" banks announced they would 
   create a $71 million fund for Holocaust victims and 
   their families.
1999 - Mike Tyson was sentenced to a year in jail for 
   assaulting two people after a car accident. Tyson was 
   also fined $5,000, had to serve 2 years of probation, 
   and had to perform 200 hours of community service 
   upon release.
2001 - Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman announced their separation.
2003 - U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell presented evidence 
   to the U.N. concerning Iraq's material breach of U.N. 
   Resolution 1441
2013  smiled

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