Is it spam? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, February 14
Guilt Day!

If you are not sending a Valentines greeting to your
significant other and your friends, then SOMEBODY is
going to make you feel guilty.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

When men are scared of a woman, they always accuse her of being mannish. --- Elizabeth Aston The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation. --- William Hutton
Thanks to Dianne for this story: A Maine Love Story... George and Aggie lived on the cove just past Lewiston Tickle out on the peninsula. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. George asked Aggie if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer. She asked him for some money, but he told her, "Nah, just put it on our tab, old man Stacey won't mind." So Aggie walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove. When she got home and gave George his smokes and his beer, she asked him, "George, you always tell me not to run up the tab at Stacey's store. Why didn't you just give me some money?" George replied, "Well, Aggie, girl, I didn't want to send you out there with cash when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was yet!" Kind of brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?
Thanks too Rubye for this story: My neighbour was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn. He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair. He told her, "You appear quite elderly to be driving." "Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly. "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore. "The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket, saying, 'You won't need this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Casey Leigh Cranfield, 28, Punta Gorda, Florida Charged Again After Deputies Find Bottle Of Xanax Hidden Inside Her Vagina Reported by The Weekly Vice Casey Leigh Cranfield, a 28-year-old Punta Gorda woman was charged again on Tuesday after she smuggled Xanax pills into jail by hiding them inside her vagina. According to the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, Cranfield was arrested on Monday and then booked into the Charlotte County Jail on Tuesday after she was allegedly found to be in violation of her probation. The next day, deputies discovered that she had somehow ingested Xanax pills while she was incarcerated at the jail. She was immediately ordered to undergo a strip search at the jail. During the search, deputies found a 2.5" Tylenol bottle hidden inside her vagina that contained 8 Xanax pills and two other pills that were sent off to a lab for identification. After the discovery, Cranfield became uncooperative and demanded to speak to her lawyer. Cranfield was booked into the Charlotte County Jail and charged with introduction of contraband into a detention facility, possession of Xanax without a prescription, and possession of drug paraphernalia. She is currently being held without bond. According to court records, Cranfield has been booked into jail three times on seven drug related charges. She was arrested with four other suspects back in April when Charlotte County Narcotics detectives raided a Punta Gorda apartment during a planned drug sting operation. Tech Support Pits From: Sue Re: Is it spam? Dear Webby I have rcvd e-mail from a credit card company----may or may not be valid----would like to forward to you for your opinion....i would prefer to forward WITH PERMISSION. Am not concerned so much with critters imbedded or or more concerned 1)that it is bogus and 2)someone ELSE might fall into the trap----you have a tremendous following and could potentially help a buncha dolts and not just me........and no-----I am not just pandering to your ego----you are highly rated for a good reason..... Thanks in advance Sue Dear Sue When in doubt, trash it. There is always more spam and scam coming. If you forward it to me, most likely my MailWasher will recognize it as a scam and trash it anyway, unseen. With anything credit card related: If it tells you to stop by your local bank, then it's legit. If it asks for ANY input whatsoever, it's a scam. Feel free to enter the name and info of your favorite politician, but never enter anything related to you, especially not bank account or PIN numbers. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Storing Bulk Food Items Shopping at the warehouse stores gives you gallon size containers which are cumbersome. The small size sport squirt top water/drink bottles are great for holding a manageable supply of oil, soy sauce or vinegar. By Marsha Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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From Sara Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With an alarmed look, the nurse quickly said, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large pole and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. Dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered "Yes father". Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get murdered, because he had told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
Otto Otter

Today, Feb 14, in 
1803 - Moses Coats received a patent on the apple parer.
1849 - The first photograph of a U.S. President, while in 
  office, was taken by Matthew Brady in New York City. 
  President James Polk was the subject of the picture.
1876 - Alexander Graham Bell filed an application for a 
  patent for the telephone. It was officially issued on 
  March 7, 1876.
1889 - In Los Angeles, CA, oranges began their first trip 
  to the east.
1899 - The U.S. Congress approved voting machines for use in 
  federal elections.
1900 - Russia imposed tighter imperial control over Finland 
  in response to an international petition for Finland's freedom.
1912 - The first diesel engine submarine was commissioned in Groton, CT.
1912 - Arizona was admitted as the 48th U.S. state.
1918 - The motion picture "Tarzan of the Apes" was released.
1929 - The "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" took place in Chicago, IL. 
  Seven gangsters who were rivals of Al Capone were killed.
1946 - ENIAC (Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer) 
  was unveiled. The device, built at the University of 
  Pennsylvania, was the world's first general purpose electronic 
1961 - Lawrencium, element 103, was first produced in Berkely, CA.
1962 - U.S. First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy gave a tour of the 
   White House on television.
1979 - Adolph Dubs, the U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan, was 
  kidnapped in Kabul by Muslim extremists. He was killed in a 
  shootout between his abductors and police.
1983 - A 6-year-old boy became the first person to receive a 
  heart and liver transplants in the same operation.
1989 - Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini called on Muslims to kill 
  Salman Rushdie because of his novel "The Satanic Verses."
1989 - The first satellite of the Global Positioning System was 
  placed into orbit around Earth.
1989 - Union Carbide agreed to pay $470 million to the government 
  of India. The court-ordered settlement was a result of the 
  1984 Bhopal gas leak disaster.
2003 - In Madrid, Spain, a ceramic plate with a bullfighting 
  motif painted by Pablo Picasso in 1949 was stolen from an 
  art show. The plate was on sale for $12,400.
2013  smiled

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