Income from ads 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, February 19.

Today I have to go for more injections into my 
eyeballs. That means there won't be any newsletters on
Thursday and Friday, and possibly not on Saturday either.
Sunday should be OK again.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. --- Albert Einstein Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. --- Frank Lloyd Wright
A little old Jewish lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, "If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat." The girl gets up and gives up her seat to the old lady. Because it is hot on the bus, the girl takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The old lady looks up and says, "If you knew what I have, you would fan me, too." The girl begins to fan her. Fifteen minutes later the little old lady stands up and says to the bus driver, "Stop, I want to get off here." The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, "If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here." The bus driver immediately pulls over in the middle of the block and opens the door to let her out. As she's stepping off the bus he asks her, "Lady, tell me, what is it you have?" The little old lady looks at him and nonchalantly replies, "Chutzpah."
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is watching you!" The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dummy named you Moses?" "The same dummy who called his Rottweiler Jesus."
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aydrea Meaders, 24, Albany, NY Jailed After Performing Strip Tease At Daughter's Elementary School Aydrea Meaders, a 24-year-old Albany female was jailed Friday after she allegedly began stripping at her daughter's elementary school assembly. According to Albany police, officers were called to the North Albany Academy on reports that a parent of one of the students was exposing herself to children during a school assembly. When officers arrived on the scene, school officials told them that Meaders had climbed up on stage and began dancing with the kids. School officials thought the act was unexpected, but didn't see anything inappropriate about it until Meaders began shedding her clothing. She allegedly exposed herself from the waist up in front of a group of 200 children before staff members were able to cover her and escort her away from the children. Meaders was booked into jail and charged with one count of public lewdness and seven counts of endangering the welfare of a child. Tech Support Pits From: Hank (papa) Re: Ad income Hi webby, Good luck and only short small pains on your eyeball shots tomorrow. Your in my prayers. Do you get paid when I click and read the ads in your letter or a lump sum when placing them. I ask because I can click and read all of them if it helps. take care tomorrow and always, Hank (papa) Dear Hank No, those days are long gone. Nowadays ads are strictly by commission. If I succeed in finding an ad, that has something useful for you, and you click through it and buy it, then I get a commission. If I fail to find something, that is useful to you, and you don't buy anything, then I get nothing. Quite often it happens that nobody buys anything for a long time. Most people need to see an ad for a number of days, before they have or take the time to buy something, that they need. It is just as difficult to gauge how long they need to see an ad as it is to pick the right goods. For example, Self Improvement Books: Fuhgeddabouddit!!!! My readers are already perfect and don't need any Improvement. That whole big topic is a total dud. The same goes for home based business opportunities. Billionaires don't need that, and besides, they are all too busy for stuff like that. So you see, it is a matter of finding goods and services that are in demand, and showing them often enough for somebody to buy something. The commission system is very fair to the company, that sells goods or services, but publishers have to take what they can get. The Pay Per View days are long gone. Re the eyes: The injections don't really hurt. The problem is the additives before and after the injections. They are just nice, cool drops, but they mess up the vision for days. Some of them are similar to the dilater drops you get from the optometrist, to make it easy for him to see the inside of your eyes without having to use an expensive camera, just much stronger and longer lasting. Other drops are an anesthetic, some are a disinfectant, and the final ones are a varnish type sealer to ensure absoutely nothing goes into the hole made by the needle. Usually all that stuff wears off in 2-3 days, but sometimes, like with the September 4 injections, something goes wrong with the additives and it causes extreme pain for a few days. The shots themselves are no problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Easy Homemade Stain Remover If you mix 1 part Dawn dish washing liquid with 2 parts hydrogen peroxide you have the best spot remover! This is probably the only cleaner you will ever need. Either spray or pour on the spot and watch it disappear. Some stains you will need to leave on for awhile. Rinse when it disappears. Love it, it really works. By Dorothy W. from New Creek, WV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Recondition laptop and car batteries to work like new! Easy to do at home with these detailed instructions. Could be VERY profitable for you! Click Here for the Battery Reconditioning Book!

Lost Churches of Louisiana One of the local television stations in Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. The interviewer was from a Boston affiliate. She asked the Lousiana woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives. Without hesitation, the woman replied: "I don't know about all those other people, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's".
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Vinnie for this story: We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."
The Wedding Ceremony

Today, Feb 20, in 
1673 The first recorded wine auction took place in London.
1792 U.S. President George Washington signed the Postal 
  Service Act thereby creating the U.S. Post Office.
1809 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the power of the federal 
  government was greater than that of any individual state.
1839 The U.S. Congress prohibited dueling in the District 
  of Columbia.
1872 Luther Crowell received a patent for a machine that 
  manufactured paper bags.
1872 Silas Noble and J.P. Cooley patented the toothpick 
  manufacturing machine.
1931 The U.S. Congress allowed California to build the 
  Oakland Bay Bridge.
1933 The U.S. House of Representatives completed congressional 
  action on the amendment to repeal Prohibition.
1944 "Big Week" began as U.S. bombers began raiding German 
  aircraft manufacturing centers during World War II.
1962 John Glenn made space history when he orbited the world 
  three times in 4 hours, 55 minutes. He was the first American 
  to orbit the Earth. He was aboard the Friendship 7 
  Mercury capsule.
1965 Ranger 8 crashed on the moon after sending back thousands 
  of pictures of its surface.
1987 A bomb exploded in a computer store in Salt Lake City, UT. 
  The blast was blamed on the Unabomber.
2002 In Reqa Al-Gharbiya, Egypt, a fire raced through a train 
  killing at least 370 people and injuring at least 65.
2003 In West Warwick, RI, 99 people were killed when fire 
  destroyed the nightclub The Station. The fire started with 
  sparks from a pyrotechnic display being used by Great White. 
  Ty Longley, guitarist for Great White, was one of the victims 
  in the fire.
2013  smiled

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