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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, February 23

Back in the saddle again!
This time there was no pain, just irritation and blurred
vision after the shots, and the next ones are not until 
April 3.

Dad told me that the European media are all hysterical about
horse meat in their hamburgers, even Canadian horse meat.
The funny thing is, those gullible Euros all think that 
both horses in Canada are doped up like Lance Armstrong,
and that their kids might turn into athletes.

The simple souls don't realize that Canada has Millions 
of horses, and none of them are doped up. The cowboys 
definitely don't spend money on dope for company horses,
and the rest of the horses are owned by families, who 
consider it fashionalbe to have few horses, and who
have them boarded somewhere, so that they can go for a
leisurely trail ride a few times a year. A full gallop
would scare the pants off most of them, and they complain
all year long about the vet bills for the necessary shots
and vitamins. They most definitely are not interested in
any costly dope.

The funny thing is, cattle in Europe is now recorded from
birth to supermarket, just like cattle in North America,
but many farmers there dope their cattle fiercely, so that 
they put on more weight quicker. They call them "Turbo-Cows",

I remember how they walked the cattle to "Alps", grazing 
areas in the mountains, up above the tree line. And in fall,
walked them down into the valley again. With the "Turbo Cows"
they can't do that any more. Partly because they are too 
heavy to walk that far, partly because their owners are 
worried the cows might lose some weight from that long walk. 
So they built or improved the roads up there and are now 
hauling the Turbo Cows up and down with cattle trucks, or 
leave them in stalls in the valley.

Meat from doped up Turbo Cows is quite acceptable in Europe, 
but meat from healthy free range horses in Canada freaks 
them out. Horses are like Holy Cows to them.

On the other hand, they eat Bambies. Young deer.
They breed deer in captivity and somehow got the knack of
getting them to have half a dozen bambies. They feed them
up with corn and dope and lettuce for a year, and then
sell the meat for big money. 

But the thought of meat from Canadian free range horses 
freaks them out. Must be the dope from the Turbo Cows!

Have FUN!

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Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. --- David T. Wolf Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn Mankind is divided into three classes: those that are immovable, those that are movable, and those that move. --- Benjamin Franklin
A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent. She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia." She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street. The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills. When she asked what the bills were for he replied, "That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 7-1."
Good old classic! A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ronald Howard, 30, Mnatee County, Florida Jailed for bad manners and assault Ronald Howard was sitting on the couch “scratching his balls” yesterday when his girlfriend told him to cease the scratching “because it was rude and disgusting and she was about to eat dinner,” police report. Howard, 30, reportedly rose from the couch in the Florida home he shares with Shalamar Petrarca and confronted her. Howard, seen in the above mug shot, allegedly got in the 25-year-old Petrarca’s face and yelled at her to “stop judging him.” Petrarca told Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies that Howard then pushed her to the ground--causing a scraped ankle--and then “threw her outside and told her to get the hell out.” In an interview with investigators, Howard claimed that Petrarca punched him in the eye for “scratching his balls.” He added that he pushed her out of their residence “in self defense,” adding that he did not call cops because he “didn’t want it to go that far.” While Howard did not have any visible injuries, Petrarca, seen at left, had “a scratch on her leg that was consistent with her version of events.” Howard was arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the Manatee County jail. Bail has not been set. If he gets bail, it will most likely include an order to stay away from Petrarca and their shared residence. Howard is scheduled for a March 21 court appearance. Interesting how Petrarca achieves a "concerned" appearance by painting fake eyebrows tilted 45 degrees up from where her shaved off eyebrows would have been. One way to look "concerned" without furrowing that immaculate brow. Mr Howard has to actually raise his eyebrows to achieve that well practised "exasperated and hard done by" look. Tech Support Pits From: Mia Re: Permanent ads Dear Webby I hope your eyes have recovered from the injections! I would freak out if someone was going to poke needles into my eyeballs! They would have to knock me out and better not wake me up for a few days! That was quite interesting about the ads. What about ads in the side margin, that you have kept for years, like "Find A Human", which I use quite often, or the Translator, or the NASA gallery, Sky Watch, the Hunger Site and the Mammogram girls, just to mention a few. Somehow I doubt that any of those ever pay you even a penny. What's the story with those? Mia Dear Mia You are right. Those ads don't pay me at all. Those are "Public Service", just a favor from me. Just "paying it forward", or "banking good Karma", whatever you might call it. I know you proabbly COULD find those links on your own in a few hours of searching, but a lot of people find them handy to have them all in one place. Since enough subscribers DO like them there, I will keep the right side side-menu. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Safety Pin to Eliminate Static Cling The natural way to fix static cling is to pin a small safety pin to the seam of the slip you are wearing. It acts like a grounding device. It eliminates the static cling in your dress. If you wear slacks, then place the safety pin in the seam of your slacks, to keep static off of your panty hose when wearing them under slacks. I just found this out from the internet. By Robyn Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again." To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times so far!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There once was a Preacher that went to heaven. (In jokes that CAN happen!) When he got to the pearly gates, there was a man in front of him. The man was a mess (dirty t-shirt, holes in his jeans, long hair, and wearing flip flops). The man told St Peter his name and told him he was a New York taxi driver. St Peter looked up his name and gave him a silk robe and a silver staff with built in juke box and police scanner. The Preacher then walked up to St Peter gave his name. He told him he was a Preacher of such & such church. St Peter looked up his name and gave him a short, hospital style cotton robe with rear draft and a plain wooden stick. The Preacher complained and said " Hey, the guy before me was a taxi driver and you gave him a silk robe and a silver staff. I'm a preacher of the word of God and all I got was this flimsy cotton robe and a dumb wooden stick." St Peter said to the Preacher, "When you preached people slept, When he drove people prayed."
» Dogs of War

Today, Feb 23, in 
1574 France began the 5th holy war against the Huguenots.
1660 Charles XI became the king of Sweden.
1792 The Humane Society of Massachusetts was incorporated.
1813 The first U.S. raw cotton-to-cloth mill was founded in 
  Waltham, MA.
1836 In San Antonio, TX, the siege of the Alamo began.
1847 Santa Anna was defeated at the Battle of Buena Vista 
  in Mexico by U.S. troops under Gen. Zachary.
1861 U.S. President-elect Abraham Lincoln arrived secretly in
  Washington to take his office after an assassination 
  attempt in Baltimore.
1861 Texas became the 7th state to secede from the Union.
1870 The state of Mississippi was readmitted to the Union.
1875 J. Palisa discovered asteroid #143 (aka Adria).
1886 Charles M. Hall completed his invention of aluminum.
1887 The French/Italian Riviera was hit by an earthquake 
  that killed about 2,000.
1896 The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield.
1904 The U.S. acquired control of the Panama Canal Zone 
  for $10 million.
1915 Nevada began enforcing convenient divorce law.
1919 The Fascist Party was formed in Italy by Benito Mussolini.
1927 The Federal Radio Commission began assigning frequencies,
  hours of operation and power allocations for radio broadcasters.
  On July 1, 1934 the name was changed to the Federal 
  Communications Commission (FCC).
1932 Robert Short became the first American to die in an arial 
  battle with the Japanese. (more info)
1940 Russian troops conquered Lasi Island.
1940 Walt Disney's animated movie "Pinocchio" was released.
1954 The first mass vaccination of children against polio 
  began in Pittsburgh, PA.
1980 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared that Iran's new 
  parliament would have to decide the fate of the hostages 
  taken on November 4, 1979, at the U.S. embassy in Tehran.
1991 During the Persian Gulf War, ground forces crossed the 
  border of Saudi Arabia into the country of Iraq. Less 
  than four days later the war was over due to the surrender 
  or withdraw of Iraqi forces.
1993 Gary Coleman won a $1,280,000 lawsuit against his parents.
1998 In central Florida, tornadoes killed 42 people and damaged and/or destroyed about 2,600 homes and businesses.
1999 White supremacist John William King was found guilty of 
  kidnapping and murdering James Byrd Jr. Byrd was dragged 
  behind a truck for two miles on a country road in Texas.
2000 Robby Knievel made a successful motorcycle jump of 200 feet over an oncoming train.
2005 The New York, NY, city medical examiner's office annouced 
  that it had exhausted all efforts to identify the remains 
  of the people killed at the World Trade Center on 
  September 11, 2001, due to the limits of DNA technology. 
  About 1,600 people had been identified leaving more than 
  1,100 unidentified.
2013  smiled

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