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Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, March 4

Thank you, Allene!

March is not the beginning of spring in Alberta,
and Gullible Warming only applies in areas, where people
want to give Al Gore some money to administer.
A vicious blizzard reminded us of that fact. 

Horizontal snowing, high snow drifts in some places
and bare grass showing in others. The windows on one side 
are caked with snow, and on the other side of the house
I see a four foot high snow drift between the house and 
the garage, and grass showing ten feet away from that.

I am not going to shovel that 4 foot deep snow drift.
Not yet, anyway. The wind would just replenish it in 
ten minutes. Chances are good, that the wind will change,
and move that snow drift to the other side of the garage.

The RCMP closed the highways and told everybody to stay
at home, indoors, and not even think about driving anywhere.
For a change people seem to listen to them. There are no
tracks in the snow on 2nd Street and none on 4th Avenue 
either. No traffic at all since Saturday evening. 

Have FUN!

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To find yourself jilted is a blow to your pride. Do your best to forget it and if you don't succeed, at least pretend to. --- Moliere (1622 - 1673) Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. --- Robert Byrne
Thanks to Gina for this story: When my youngest daughter was three, she begged to be allowed to attend a concert with her older sister and brother. She assured me she was a big girl and would behave herself. As we took our seats in the orchestra hall, I handed programs to the kids. Following the lead of her older siblings, my three-year-old opened her program, and in her most grown-up voice said, "Mommy, I'll have the chicken-balls, please."
A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, "Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a drummer when I grow up!" The mother sweetly replies, "You can't do BOTH."
Secret Homemade Kentucky Beer Recipe This Is The Best Beer You Will Ever Drink And Very Potent Too. You Can Buy Everything To Make A Lot Of It In You Local Store Real Cheap Get the Secret Homemade Kentucky Beer Recipe!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Hannah Steiner, 18, Jackson, Tennessee Jailed for Raping 13-Year-Old Boy Inside Church Reported by the Weekly Vice Hannah Steiner, an 18-year-old Tennessee female was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly raped a 13-year-old boy at a local church - just moments before Sunday services began. According to Jackson Police, Steiner and the victim were attending Skyline Church of Christ Sunday morning when the alleged sexual encounter took place. Investigators say the encounter started off with consensual touching. When the boy felt things had gone far enough, he attempted to stop. That's when Steiner allegedly forced him to have sex. During police interviews, Steiner and the victim both confirmed the incident. Steiner was booked into the Madison County Jail and charged with rape and two counts of statutory rape. Her bail has been set at $5,000. Tech Support Pits From: Thomas Re: Sort Favorites in IE Dear Webby I have a PC.Is there a way to arrange the favorite list in alphabetical order? Thanks --Thomas Dear Thomas Yes, there IS an easy way, though Microsoft won't tell you. They tell you to mess with the registry. I found that if you right-click on the topmost grey menu bar and take the checkmark off the STANDARD BUTTONS, then instead of the favorites showing in a long list on the left side, they pull down from the word FAVORITES. Right click anywhere in there, and you will see the option to sort. After sorting, you can put the checkmark back onto STANDARD BUTTONS, and the favorites will remain nicely sorted for a while. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Get More Out of Your Apples If you want to maximize the amount of fruit you can get out of an apple, consider cutting it up before eating it. First, cut the apple from top to bottom, from the stem end to the blossom end. Using a small paring knife, cut a tiny "v" shaped notch at the top and bottom of the cut halves, removing the blossom end and stem. Then, using either your small paring knife in a circular motion, or a small melon baller, remove the center of each half, taking out the seeds. You will be amazed at how little you have removed, and how much edible portion you have left. Now you can cut it up for use in a recipe or just for a healthy snack. By Ginny Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Recondition laptop and car batteries to work like new! Easy to do at home with these detailed instructions. Could be VERY profitable for you! Click Here for the Battery Reconditioning Book!

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem; I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."
Up, Up & Ooops

Today, March 4, in 
1152 Frederik I Barbarossa elected Roman-German king
1634 Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, MA.
1570 King Philip II bans foreign Dutch students
1681 England's King Charles II granted a charter to 
  William Penn for an area that later became the 
  state of Pennsylvania.
1813 The Russians fighting against Napoleon reached Berlin. 
  The French garrison evacuated the city without a fight.
1826 The first railroad in the U.S. was chartered. It was the 
  Granite Railway in Quincy, MA.
1861 The Confederate States of America adopted the 
  "Stars and Bars" flag.
1877 Emile Berliner invented the microphone.
1880 Halftone engraving was used for the first time when 
  the "Daily Graphic" was published in New York City.
1904 In Korea, Russian troops retreated toward the Manchurian 
  border as 100,000 Japanese troops advanced.
1914 Doctor Fillatre successfully separated Siamese twins.
1954 In Boston, Peter Bent Brigham Hospital reported the first 
  successful kidney transplant.
1975 Queen Elizabeth knighted Charlie Chaplin.
1997 U.S. President Clinton barred federal spending on human cloning.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that federal law banned 
  on-the-job sexual harassment even when both parties are 
  the same sex.
1999 Monica Lewinsky's book about her affair with U.S. 
President Clinton went on sale in the U.S.
2002 Canada banned human embryo cloning but permitted 
  government-funded scientists to use embryos left over 
  from fertility treatment or abortions. 
2013  smiled

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