No tools in Spybot? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, March 25.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) There is only one you... Don't you dare change just because you're outnumbered! --- Charles Swindoll Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers. --- T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "YOU ? Making your own bed every morning?"
Eat deserts to lose weight! Scientifically Proven. Get three free recipes just for checking it out. Eat Deserts!

Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out. "Please, Dad?" the boy continued. "They're not cheap either," the father came back. "I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see." Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dustin Stirewalt, 20 of Grace Church Road, SALISBURY, NC Smelly Dope Reported by The Weekly Vice Police in North Carolina said the odor of freshly-sprayed cologne at a traffic checkpoint led to the discovery marijuana and pills. The Salisbury Police Department said Officer J.R. Cable became suspicious when he detected "the strong odor of freshly sprayed cologne" coming from a vehicle at a traffic checkpoint and searched the vehicle. Cable discovered marijuana and pills in the vehicle, police said. Dustin Stirewalt, 20, was jailed on three counts of drug possession. He was released after posting $5,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: No tools in spybot Dear Webby, in my copy of " spybot-search & destroy " there is no "tools" listed. is there a newer version available? daniel Dear Daniel Switch to advanced mode, then you see the tools in the left bottom. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mesh Bag for Cleaning Cookie Cutters Use the mesh bag from your next turkey to throw your cookie cutters into. Place the mesh and cookie cutters in your dish washer making sure that the end is closed and placed over a prong. The cutters can swish around and not get thrown around. Cleaning is a breeze this way. By Louella from Billings, MT You can use 5 lb Onion bags for washing drooled on and dirty lego blocks and small toys. Works fine in the sink too. Just get your toddler to swish around the noisy bag for a while, then rinse it. Because it makes noise, they love doing it. They will even put the blocks into the onion bag after playing. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you! Solar Water Heat This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater, like I have been recommending since the 70's. When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are used to. The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that system even in the Yukon. It works. You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find components. For the glazing you can even use clear corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows. The glazing is never touched by the water, it just holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house for the pipe and outer tank. Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!

The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest face for the opening scene of the play. "Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the choir to sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you come on stage and light all the candles." "I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to be the one picked. Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir was in grand voice, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest angel made his interest. The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an expectant "...and the angel lit the candle," and everyone looked stage right for the entrance. No little boy. The director gave the downbeat again, and gestured for a louder line, which the choir gave him - "...and the angel lit the candle," and again, all eyes looked stage right. No little boy. The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great, sweeping gestures, and the choir thundered into the line - the curtains belled slightly from the sound - "...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!" And into the silence which followed came a clear, boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right "...and my sister took my lighter!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "All of grandma's hairs are white. You must have been really evil!"
Seeing Legs


Today, March 25, in
0421 The city of Venice was founded.
1306 Robert the Bruce was crowned king of Scotland.
1409 The Council of Pisa opened.
1634 Lord Baltimore founded the Catholic colony of Maryland.
1655 Puritans jailed Governor Stone after a military 
  victory over Catholic forces in the colony of Maryland.
1669 Mount Etna in Sicily erupted destroying Nicolosi. 
  20,000 people were killed.
1700 England, France and Netherlands ratify the 
  2nd Extermination Treaty.
1807 The first railway passenger service began in England.
1807 British Parliament abolished the slave trade.
1821 Greece gained independence from Turkey.
1856 A. E. Burnside patented Burnside carbine.
1857 Frederick Laggenheim took the first photo of a 
  solar eclipse.
1865 The SS General Lyon at Cape Hatteras caught fire 
  and sank. 400 people were killed.
1879 Japan invaded the kingdom of Liuqiu (Ryukyu) Islands, formerly a vassal of China.
1895 Italian troops invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia).
1900 The U.S. Socialist Party was formed in Indianapolis.
1901 The Mercedes was introduced by Daimler at the 
  five-day "Week of Nice" in Nice, France.
1901 It was reported in Washington, DC, that Cubans were 
  beginning to fear annexation.
1905 Russia received Japan's terms for peace.
1909 In Russia, revolutionary Popova was arrested 
  on 300 murder charges.
1911 In New York City, 146 women were killed in fire at the 
  Triangle Shirtwaist Company in New York City. The owners 
  of the company were indicted on manslaughter charges 
  because some of the employees had been behind locked 
  doors in the factory. The owners were later acquitted 
  and in 1914 they were ordered to pay damages to each 
  of the twenty-three families that had sued.
1915 21 people died when a U.S. F-4 submarine sank off 
  the Hawaiian coast.
1919 The Paris Peace Commission adopted a plan to protect 
  nations from the influx of foreign labor.
1940 The U.S. agreed to give Britain and France access 
  to all American warplanes.
1947 A coalmine explosion in Centralia, IL, killed 111 people.
1953 The USS Missouri fired on targets at Kojo, North Korea.
1954 RCA manufactured its first color TV set
1957 The European Economic Community was established 
  with the signing of the Treaty of Rome.
1960 A guided missile was launched from a nuclear powered 
  submarine for the first time.
1970 The Concorde made its first supersonic flight.
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan ordered emergency aid for 
  the Honduran army. U.S. helicopters took Honduran troops 
  to the Nicaraguan border.
1990 A fire in Happy Land, an illegal New York City social 
  club, killed 87 people.
1990 Estonia voted for independence from the Soviet Union.
1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein launched a major 
 counter-offensive to recapture key towns from Kurds 
 in northern Iraq.
1992 Soviet cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev returned to Earth after
  spending 10 months aboard the orbiting Mir space station.
1993 President de Klerk admitted that South Africa had 
  built six nuclear bombs, but said that they had 
  since been dismantled.
1996 An 81-day standoff by the antigovernment Freemen 
  began at a ranch near Jordan, MT.
1998 The FCC nets $578.6 million at auction for 
  licenses for new wireless technology.
2004 The U.S. Senate voted (61-38) on the Unborn Victims 
  of Violence Act (H.R. 1997) to make it a separate crime 
  to harm a fetus during the commission of a violent 
  federal crime.
2013  smiled


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