Alternatives to DSL 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, March 26.

Dr Connie Hiebert, a facebook friend suggested that I tell you
about her book about helping kids grow smart & appreciative:
The Teachable Minute.
If you need some ammo in that field, go check it out!

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining? --- George Wallace There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn. --- Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)
>From D Although many men in our rural area have difficulty accepting women's lib, my husband helps with the housework. One day he took over the vacuuming while I went to the store. The doorbell rang. It was one of his friends, a burly ranch foreman clad in a battered cowboy hat, faded jeans and worn boots. "I was just cleaning," my husband said somewhat abashed, turning off the vacuum. The rancher looked relieved. "That's all right," he said gruffly, handing my husband a white paper bag. "I'm delivering Avon!"
Eat deserts to lose weight! Scientifically Proven. Get three free recipes just for checking it out. Eat Deserts!

The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter- viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "WOW! Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
Click on the picture for the large version Church in Kiev, Ukraine
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alfredo Malespini III, 31, in Bradford, PA Fed Prison guard shoots his own finger Reported by NY Daily News and others A federal prison guard has been charged with shooting his own finger in a drunken attempt to remove his wedding ring during an argument with his wife at their northwestern Pennsylvania home, police said. A criminal complaint said Bradford police were called just before 9 p.m. March 2 and were met by Alfredo Malespini III, 31, who told officers he was "trying to get rid of his wedding ring" and decided to "shoot it off." The gunshot badly mangled Malespini's finger, but didn't remove the ring, police said. At the time of the shooting in Bradford, which is near the New York border about 130 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, Malespini was employed as a lieutenant at the Federal Correctional Institution-McKean, a medium security prison a few miles away. Malespini was taken to UPMC Hamot hospital where he was treated for the gunshot wound and also for mental or emotional issues, Caskey said. Police have been called to the Malespini residence a "couple times" previously for domestic disputes, but Caskey said he doesn't believe Malespini had ever been charged with a crime before. On the day of the shooting, Malespini "had been drinking quite heavily throughout the day and he and his wife had been arguing throughout the day about an affair he had had several months ago," Caskey said. Malespini has been charged with disorderly conduct and was cited for firing a weapon within city limits but also is charged with reckless endangerment, a second-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to two years in prison. That's because the bullet Malespini fired could have endangered someone else, Caskey said. Tech Support Pits From: Bernie Re: DSL Alternatives Dear Webby, My ISP don't offer DSL in this area because we are so rural. What other choices do I have for a higher speed Internet. This dialup is just too slow. I really enjoy your newsletter and Vote everyday. Thanks much, Bernie Dear Bernie Without knowing exactly where you live, it's difficult to make a suggestion. If you have cable TV, then you usually can get RR (Rural Route or Road Runner). That is even faster than DSL. If you don't have cable TV, there is Satellite DSL. It's expensive, and a bit flakey, but a lot of people in the deep South use it. The satellites are getting better and people further and further North are using it in rural areas. With Satellite DSL you get fast downloads when the weather is clear, but uploads are via your regular dial-up. If you never upload web pages and pictures, then that is not a problem. You can also continue to use your current Dial-Up for anything, that does not have to be fast. For example, usually email is just as fast on Dial-Up as it is on DSL. During snow storms or heavy rain, the satellite DSL has connectivity problems and will be intermittent. If you just use the metered Satellite DSL when speed is important, you can reduce your costs, however, if you have kids, who like downloading music, stick with cheap, unmetered Dial-Up. If you are in an area, where you can use a cell phone, then you can use an "Air Card" or similar cellular modem. You can get pretty good speed with an Air Card SOME of the time. At other times it will be slow. Cost is definitely a lot more than for Dial-Up, but in some areas, it may be your only solution. Air Cards get through storms, when Satellite DSL doesn't. Verizon is one of the providers, that have Air Cards. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Uses for Clothespins Who doesn't want to save a little money and keep numerous dry goods fresher longer? Head to your laundry room and grab all the cloths pegs you can. Wooden ones are cheaper to buy. Keep a stash in your "go to" kitchen drawer. Use a clothes peg to seal up the wax bags in all your cereal boxes, tube of opened crackers, and bags of chips, pretzels, and other snack food. Discard those tie wraps from loaves of bread and replace with a cloths peg. Use them in the refrigerator as well for bags of lettuce, cheese, and even frozen goods. If you start your garden from seed, as I do, use them to reseal the seed packages and you can even write on the wooden pegs with planting info. I'm sure you'll find many more uses too! By Angie from Russellville, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you! Solar Water Heat This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater, like I have been recommending since the 70's. When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are used to. The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that system even in the Yukon. It works. You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find components. For the glazing you can even use clear corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows. The glazing is never touched by the water, it just holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house for the pipe and outer tank. Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!

>From Arthur When I was still in middle management, I had a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in a Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped in mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied. "I was just beginning to think you really DO eat nails for lunch."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Dan While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter I was in lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. "Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!" As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah, and it's supposed to FLY too!" ------------------------ By the way, you are NOT supposed to inflate the life jacket until AFTER you are through the door. You might not make it through the door with an inflated life jacket, and really annoy the people behind you.
Orcinus Orca

Today, March 26, in
1026 Conrad II crowned Holy Roman Emperor by Pope John XIX
1799 Napoleon captured Jaffa Palestine.
1793 The Holy Roman Emperor formally declared war on France.
1804 The U.S. Congress ordered the removal of Indians east of 
  the Mississippi to Louisiana.
1885 Eastman Kodak (Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co.) produced 
  the first commercial motion picture film in Rochester, NY.
1898 In South Africa, the world's first game reserve, the 
  Sabi Game reserve, was designated.
1909 Russian troops invaded Persia to support Muhammad Ali as 
  shah in place of the constitutional government.
1910 The U.S. Congress passed an amendment to the 1907 
  Immigration Act that barred criminals, paupers, anarchists 
  and carriers of disease from settling in the U.S.
1917 At the start of the battle of Gaza, the British cavalry 
  withdrew when 17,000 Turks blocked their advance.
1937 Spinach growers in Crystal City, TX, erected a statue of Popeye.
1938 Herman Goering warned all Jews to leave Austria.
1942 The Germans began sending Jews to Auschwitz in Poland.
1945 The battle of Iwo Jima ended.
1945 In the Aleutians, the battle of Komandorski began when 
  the Japanese attempted to reinforce a garrison at Kiska 
  and were intercepted by a U.S. naval force.
1958 The U.S. Army launched America's third successful 
  satellite, Explorer III.
1971 Sheikh Mujibur Rahman declared East Pakistan to be the 
  independent republic of Bangladesh.
1973 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat took over the premiership 
  and said "the stage of total confrontation (with Israel) 
  has become inevitable."
1979 The Camp David treaty was signed by Israel and Egypt 
  that ended the 31-year state of war between the countries.
1989 The first free elections took place in the Soviet Union. 
  Boris Yeltsin was elected.
1991 The presidents of Argentina, Paraguay, Brazil and Uruguay 
  signed an agreement that established the Southern Cone 
  Common Market, a free-trade zone, by January 1, 1995.
1992 In Indianapolis, heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson 
  was found guilty of rape. He was sentenced to 6 years in prison. 
  He only served three.
1995 Seven of the 15 European Union states abolished border controls.
1996 The International Monetary Fund approved a $10.2 billion 
  loan for Russia to help the country transform its economy.
1997 The 39 bodies of Heaven's Gate members are found in a 
  mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. The group had committed 
  suicide thinking that they would be picked up by a spaceship 
  following behind the comet Hale-Bopp.
1998 In the U.S., the Federal government endorses new HIV test 
  that yields instant results.
1999 In Michigan, Dr. Jack Kevorkian was convicted of second-degree 
  murder for giving a terminally ill man a lethal injection and 
  putting it all on videotape on September 17, 1998 for "60 Minutes."
2000 The Seattle Kingdome was imploded to make room for a new 
  football arena. I remember watching that live over the 
  Internet. It was awesome!
2000 In Russia, acting President Vladimir Putin was elected 
2013  smiled

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