Print only selected parts 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, March 26.

A few people asked me why Connie's book is so checp at
The Teachable Minute.
What you can do there is Pre-Order the book, before it is
delivered to the book stores. Pre-orders are a method for
creating word-of-mouth advertising for books and music.
They are confident, that you will brag about it, and get 
others interested, and that by the time the book hits 
the book stores, there will be good demand for it.

Some experts in the publishing field, like for example 
the great hypmotist Dr Joe Vitale, even get hundreds of 
people to offer free bonuses, if you buy a certain book 
of his on a certain day, so that he can claim to have
an Amazon BestSeller. (for a day)

Connie isn't using any stunts or hypnotizing a herd of
shills, she just offers you a really good deal by pre-
ordering her book.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." --- Jeff Marder
At the company water cooler, Joe bragged about his children's world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a yearlong research project in India. One co-worker's quip, however, stopped him short. "What is it about you," he asked, "that makes your kids want to get so far away from you?"
Eat deserts to lose weight! Scientifically Proven. Get three free recipes just for checking it out. Eat Deserts!

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If... You call your young apprentice, "Junior" Your landspeeder has a gun rack. You call Yoda your Li'l green buddy. You have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill. Your Jedi robe is camouflage colored. At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. You can describe the taste of an Ewok. You have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark'll be a hoot." You got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids. You have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. You've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon. You feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. You use your lightsabor as a bug zapper
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Takeya Clemons, 19, Dayton, OH Jailed After Having Sex With Minor Girl, Posting Video Of Encounter On Facebook Takeya Clemons, a 19-year-old Ohio woman, was jailed after she had sex with an underage girl, video-recorded the encounter, and then uploaded the video to Facebook. According to Montgomery County prosecutors, Clemons was charged on Thursday and her case will now go before a Montgomery County Grand Jury. Investigators say Clemons had sex with a 16-year-old girl, created a video of the sexual encounter, and then uploaded the video to Facebook when the two had a falling out. Facebook removed the video and terminated the offending account after they had been notified about the video. Clemons was booked into jail and charged with pandering sexually oriented material involving a minor. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Print Selected parts only Dear Webby, glad you noted the bit about inflating the life jacket after - I'm very surprised he was able to get out of a helicopter - there are many from which exit is extremely tight even without a life preserver - I need some tech help - I occasionally get an email with some interesting text (not an attachment) that I would like to copy - all I get when I open "file" and to the print tab is the letter heading - nothing that has been typed - and I am lousy at "highlighting" - wonder why it just doesn't copy whatever is on the screen? Bill Dear Bill I remember a stew, I think it was on Scare North on a DC3 with the back cargo door permanently duck-taped and sealed, telling us that if somebody inflated their life jacket before they were out the door and in the water, it was no problem at all. She said she had a special poker to let their air out, and showed us a wicked looking dagger with a nice thrusting motion. "If I poke a bit too deep, just say "OhhhAhrrrrghh!" She got her point across. Re selection copying: Use your mouse with the left button held down to smear and select what you want. When that is highlighted, hit CTRL C to copy. After that, you can jump to any other program, for example a Word Processor, open a new document or put the cursor into an existing one, and hit CRL V CTRL V will paste the copied selection right where you got the cursor. If you forgot to precisely place the cursor, it barfs the stuff right where the cursor is. In that case, hit CTRL Z to undo the paste job, put the cursor where it should be, and hit CTRL V to paste. Other keys will do the same, but CTRL C and CTRL V allow you to do it with the left hand, without having to take the right hand off the mouse. If you want to print the selection, make sure the stuff you want is highlighted, Hit CTRL P to print Click on "Print Selection Only" and hit OK. You can also click on Page Set-up and adjust the ZOOM. If it's just a smart-ass quote by you or another great philosopher, you might want to turn the page to Landscape and zoom the writing to 300%. You can adjust all those things in Page Set-up, and even preview the print job. "OOOPS, 300% is a bit too big, let's try 250%." When it looks right, then hit PRINT. Selecting portions should be as easy as falling into bed at 5 am. Put the cursor at the start of what you want to select, hold down the left mouse button, and with it still held down, drag to the end of what you want copied. Let go and without moving the mouse, hit CTRL C to copy. If that does not work properly and consistently every time, then your mouse has a problem. Mice are cheap. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Cover Keyboard With Plastic Wrap Having JUST replaced our keyboard (thanks to a kitten and milk disaster), I put a sheet of the self-sealing saran wrap over the keyboard. It stretches enough to allow the keys to be pressed, and does a marvelous job at keeping the crud out of the keyboard! By Eileen from Elk Grove, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
If you are paying for your own hot water, this is for you! Solar Water Heat This is not some wacky scam, that claims to make all of your hot water all of the time, but a simple pre-heater, like I have been recommending since the 70's. When there is sunshine, you pre-heat the cold water with the sun, and use the electrical or gas heater to just top it off a bit to get the precise temperature, that you are used to. The bulk of the heating is done by the sun. I used that system even in the Yukon. It works. You don't need any fancy space age or hard to find components. For the glazing you can even use clear corrugated acrylic, plexi-glass, or old windiows. The glazing is never touched by the water, it just holds off the wind and acts like a flat mini-hot-house for the pipe and outer tank. Very fast payback for Solar Water Heat!

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the woman behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" she yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man came into a gun shop and asked to see a shotgun. The clerk, seeing that the customer was well-dressed and pro- bably had a well-padded pocketbook, showed him a Belgian handcrafted mother of pearl inlay weapon and demonstrated its fine points. A bargain at $12,000. The customer says, "No, not quite what I need." Then the clerk brings out an English model and shows off its fine points. A steal at only $7,500. The customer says, "No, I don't need anything that fancy." The clerk, disappointed, shows the customer a Winchester 'over and under' mass production model. Only $299.95. The customer says, "That will do nicely. After all, it's an informal wedding."
» The Bone Boneyard

Today, March 27, in
1350 While besieging Gibraltar Alfonso XI of Castile 
  died of the Black Death.
1794 The U.S. Congress and President Washington authorized 
  the creation of the U.S. Navy.
1802 The Treaty of Amiens was signed ending the French
  Revolutionary War.
1814 U.S. troops under Gen. Andrew Jackson defeated the 
  Creek Indians at Horshoe Bend in Northern Alabama.
1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH.
1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York City.
1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn.
1899 The first international radio transmission between 
  England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor 
  G. Marconi.
1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that 
  gave 35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in 
  South Africa.
1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops
1907 French troops occupied Oudja, Morocco, as a 
  punitive action for the murder of French Dr. Muchamp.
1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion 
  of Honor decoration.
1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying 
  for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor.
1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at 
  St. Nazaire, France.
1944 One-thousand Jews left Drancy, France, 
  for the Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland.
1944 Thousands of Jews were murdered in Kaunas, Lithuania.
1946 Four-month strikes at both General Electric and 
  General Motors ended with a small wage increase.
1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel 
  in Korea, the original dividing line between Koreas.
1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the moon.
1964 An earthquake in Alaska killed 114 people and 
  registered 8.4 on the Richter Scale.
1968 Yuri Gagarin, the first man to orbit the earth, 
  died in a plane crash.
1976 Washington, DC, opened its subway system.
1977 About 570 people died when a KLM 747 and a 
  Pan Am 747 collided with each other on a foggy 
  runway on the Canary Island of Tenerife.
1989 The U.S. anti-missile satellite failed the 
  first test in space.
1992 Police in Philadelphia, PA, arrested a man with 
  AIDS on charges that he may have infected several 
  hundred teenage boys with HIV through sexual relations.
1997 2 million Russian workers held a nationwide strike 
  to protest unpaid wages.
1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the drug Viagra.
1998 Top civilian aircraft makers in France, Spain, 
  Germany and Britain agreed to create a single European 
  aerospace and defense company.
1998 Ax-wielders killed at least 52 people in southern 
  Algeria, most of which were toddlers.
2004 NASA successfully launched an unpiloted X-43A 
  jet that hit Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph).
2006 Zacarias Moussaoui testified in his federal trail 
  that he was supposed to hijack a fifth airplane 
  on September 11, 2001, and fly it into the White House.
2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent 
  officiating tool.
2013  smiled

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