Criteria for selecting a Laser Printer 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Good Friday, April 12.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Had to go up to the hospital today for blood sampling.
We had a nasty blizzard, but hiking up out of the valley it
was at my back and I was sailing up there in record time.

Coming back was a different story. It felt like I was on
my motorcycle driving against a hail storm without a face 

In the valley visibility was about six feet. Standing in 
front of a street sign and wiping the snow off the glasses,
I could just barely make out the numbers. Luckily I knew
the differences in sidewalk ending on each Avenue, and 
turned at the proper one and made it home OK.

Was this why I left the Yukon and moved South?

Have FUN!

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I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. --- Mitch Hedberg (1968 - 2005) Fortune can, for her pleasure, fools advance, And toss them on the wheels of Chance. --- Juvenal (55 AD - 127 AD)
Thanks to Alf for this: My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like Cripes. For Cripe's sake. Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of Gosh? of the church of Holy Moly. I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in Heck?
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Darling," a husband whispered to his wife late one night, "if I died, would you get married again?" "I suppose so," she replied. "Would you sleep in the same bed with him?" "Well, it's the only bed in the house, so I have no choice." "Would you make love to him?" "Honey," the woman said patiently, "he would be my husband." "Would you give him my car?" "No," she yawned, "He can't drive a manual transmission car."
Click on the picture for the large version Antarctic Sunrise
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sheena Cornwell, 28, Des Moines, Iowa Jailed After Hanging Dog To Death In Garage Because She Was Tired Of Hearing The Animal Bark Reported by The Weekly Vice Sheena Cornwell, a 28-year-old Iowa woman, was jailed Saturday after she hung her and her boyfriend's dog to death because she was annoyed with the animal's barking. According to police, officers were dispatched to the couple's residence after receiving a 911 call from Cornwell's boyfriend, Joshua VanDyke. VanDyke told investigators that he had just returned home from work Saturday when he noticed that Cornwell was angry with the dog's barking. He stated that Cornwell placed the dog inside the garage so she wouldn't have to listen to the noise. She became increasingly annoyed, however, when she could still hear the dog barking. That's when she allegedly went back to the garage and hung the animal from a garage rafter using the animal's collar and leash. Cornwell reportedly watched the dog kick and struggle for a ten minute period until she saw that it was dead. She then allegedly came back inside the house and announced that she had taken care of the noise. VanDyke called police after going to the garage and seeing what Cornwell had done. "She did not appear remorseful. She said she saw nothing wrong with her actions,' said Des Moines Police spokesperson, Greg Catron. "She didn't think there was anything wrong with the way she put this dog to death. This is the first time I've ever seen a dog strung up like that. The dog deserved better than that." Cornwell was booked into jail and charged with animal torture. VanDyke told a local reporter that he has since ended his 4-year long relationship with Cornwell. Tech Support Pits FROM: Diane RE: Criteria for a Laser Printer Dear Webby, Forgive my stupid question... I could never be accused of being a "techie" ... but would you be so kind as to tell me some of the features I should inquire about? I download a lot of quilt patterns and templates, as well as just text articles. I'd also like to be able to print off good copies for my grandchildren occasionally. My problem is that I don't know the lingo and don't know what to ask for... the perfect captive audience. Thank you for your help. I do enjoy your newsletter. Diane Dear Diane If you print eBooks or big stuff like that, then a big paper tray is important, so that you don't run out of paper in the middle of a print job. If you just print a page or two now and then, than that is not important. If your space is limited, then you need to consider the size of the printer, so that you don't have to hang it off hooks on the ceiling. Weight can also be a consideration, depending on where you plan to put it. Keep in mind, the paper adds considerable weight! Will the shelf hold it, or sag too much? Can you use separate toner cartridges for each color? If they have combination toner cartridges, go to the next one. Does it have a long catcher at the output, or will long (legal size) papers sail across the room? Call their support. If you get the runaround or wind up arguing with some Taliban, that you can't understand, go to the next brand. Print quality is generally good enough with all Laser printers, nowadays, and not something to worry about. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Use the Entire Pot Of Coffee Good coffee is expensive, but cheap if you use it correctly. I purchase good quality ground coffee. When I make a 12 cup pot of coffee, I immediately pour the whole thing into a reused plastic juice bottle. There is usually 1 cup over the container size that I drink. Then I keep it at room temperature in the sealed container, close to the coffee pot. When I am ready for another cup, I put it in a mug and heat it in the microwave. No more burnt tasting coffee from setting after making on the coffee warmer. No stale coffee to throw away, and no waste. I drink a lot of coffee and don't pay half of what most of my friends pay for coffee supplies. Waste not, want not. By Dave Woodman I use my big stainless steel thermos from the days, when I worked in the aluminum smelter in Kittimat. It keeps the coffee hot longer, without making it sour. I also use another trick: I try to get Extra Fine Grind, which is actually a wacky blend of everything, that got ground too fine, and is often sold at a discount. Briefly. Until they find out that the coffee connoisseurs snatch it up and hoard it. Then the price follows demand, and goes up sharply. Then I got to look for Extra Fine Grind elsewhere. If I can't get it, I use my little electric coffee grinder and re-grind the Fine Grind coffee to a fine powder, and pour it, still hot and fragrant from the grinding, straight from the grinder into the filter. Using that trick, you can reduce the number of scoops by two, and still get the same or better flavor. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask again to see the baby. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around smart people."
Rain or Shine

Today, April 12, in
1096 Peter the Hermit gathered his army in Cologne.
1204 The Fourth Crusade sacked Constantinople.
1606 England adopted the original Union Jack as its flag.
1782 The British navy won its only naval engagement 
  against the colonists in the American Revolution at 
  the Battle of Saints, off Dominica.
1799 Phineas Pratt patented the comb cutting machine.
1811 The first colonists arrived at Cape Disappointment, 
1833 Charles Gaylor patented the fireproof safe.
1861 Fort Sumter was shelled by Confederacy, starting 
  America's Civil War.
1864 Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest captured 
  Fort Pillow in Tennessee and slaughters the black Union 
  troops there.
1877 A catcher's mask was used in a baseball game for the 
  first time by James Alexander Tyng.
1892 Voters in Lockport, New York, became the first in 
  the U.S. to use voting machines.
1911 Pierre Prier completed the first non-stop London-Paris 
  flight in three hours and 56 minutes.
1916 American cavalrymen and Mexican bandit troops 
  clashed at Parrel, Mexico.
1927 The British Cabinet came out in favor of women 
  voting rights.
1938 The first U.S. law requiring a medical test for a 
  marriage license was enacted in New York.
1944 The U.S. Twentieth Air Force was activated to begin 
  the strategic bombing of Japan.
1955 The University of Michigan Polio Vaccine Evaluation 
  Center announced that the polio vaccine of Dr. Jonas Salk
  was "safe, effective and potent."
1961 Soviet Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin became first man 
  to orbit the Earth.
1963 Police used dogs and cattle prods on peaceful 
  civil rights demonstrators in Birmingham, AL.
1981 The space shuttle Columbia blasted off from 
  Cape Canaveral, FL, on its first test flight.
1982 The British Navy began enforcing a blockade around 
  the Falkland Islands.
1984 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Challenger 
  made the first satellite repair in orbit by returning 
  the Solar Max satellite to space.
1985 In Spain, an explosion in a restaurant near a U.S. 
  base killed 17 people.
1987 Texaco filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy after it failed 
  to settle a legal dispute with Pennzoil Co.
1988 Harvard University won a patent for a genetically 
  altered mouse. It was the first patent for a life form.
1989 In the U.S.S.R, ration cards were issued for the 
  first time since World War II. Sugar shortage.
1993 NATO began enforcing a no-fly zone over Bosnia and 
2000 More than 1,500 anti-drug agents raided four cities 
  in Colombia and arrested 46 members of the "most powerful" 
  heroin ring.
2013  smiled

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