What to do when Eudora slowed down? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, April 17.

Have FUN!

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This is like deja vu all over again. --- Yogi Berra The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. --- Pearl Buck (1892 - 1973)
>From Lynn As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a couple who had just checked in after a long flight came by and asked me where the lift was. "Go down the hill," I told them, "out the door, past the pool, 200 yards down the block, and you'll see it on your right." Their tired faces suddenly looked even more exhausted, until the man behind them spoke up. "These folks are from England," he said. "I think they're looking for the elevator."
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Davie, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this. Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"
Click on the picture for the large version Waiting While looking for something else, I came across this picture, that I took in Arizona about ten years ago. Do you see a woman, boobs and knees pointing towards you, and her head turned to her right (your left) down towards Phoenix, as if she was waiting. And turned to stone.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vincent Valvo, 19,Vero beach, Florida Mama's Boy jailed for Calling 911, twice, Because He Didn't Like The Way His Mother Spoke To Him Reported by The Weekly Vice Vincent Valvo, a 19-year-old Florida man was jailed Thursday after he allegedly called 911 to complain that he didn't like the way his mother was talking to him. According to the Indian River County Sheriff's Office, a deputy was dispatched to a residence Valvo shares with his parents after he called 911 to report a domestic disturbance. When the deputy arrived on the scene, Valvo stated that he was upset by the way his mother spoke to him. The deputy told Valvo that his call was an improper use of 911 and warned him about the penalties associated with the offense. A short while later, a second deputy was dispatched to the residence after receiving another 911 call from Valvo. When the deputy arrived on the scene, Valvo was sitting on the front steps of the residence doing something with his phone. When the deputy asked Valvo what he could do for him, Valvo stated that he "wanted to leave." When the deputy asked where he wanted to go, Valvo stared at his phone and wouldn't respond. When the deputy asked Valvo if he was thinking of hurting himself, Valvo responded "fuck no" according to the arrest affidavit. When the deputy asked Valvo why he called 911 again, Valvo stated that he "didn't like the way his mom talked to him." The officer also noted that Valvo's words were slurred and he smelled of alcoholic beverage. That's when the deputy tired of playing twenty questions with Valvo and placed him under arrest. He was booked into the Indian River County Jail and charged with improper use of 911. He was released after posting $500 bond. Valvo's prior arrests in Indian River County include theft and disorderly intoxication. Tech Support Pits FROM: David RE: Eudora slowed down Dear Webby A couple of weeks ago Eudora starting slowing way down to delete an email, as long as 30 seconds or more for deletion. Had a friend come over to clean up my computer. As a result Eudora went back to deleting emails quickly. However I discovered Windows XP thought I did not have an anti-virus program. So today I downloaded McAfee again that Eudora went back to taking forever to delete emails. Any idea how I can fix this? David Dear David Dump the trash, both Recycle Bin and Eudora In Eudora reduce the IN box and OUT box by filing stuff into mail boxes like IN-2000, IN-2001, etc, or topics like PRAYERS, Porno, Recipes, etc. Keep IN, OUT and TRASH as lean as possible. Then go to SPECIAL, Compact Mailboxes After that Eudora will be happy again. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use CDs to Make Driveway Reflectors I live in an area that does not have street lights and at night it is difficult to "see" my driveway. I checked on red reflectors and they are quite expensive. I have now placed old computer disks on my mail box post and they reflect great. We arranged them in a "pattern" so they look attractive all the time. I also placed some in my trees at Christmas and these are really neat with some outdoor lights shining in their direction. By Betty from FL After AOL switched from sending floppy disks to sending CDs to everybody, I used to make Sun-Catchers with them: They are very pretty close up, and flashes can be seen from a few miles away. Drilling holes into them andusing fishing line is OK for indoor use, but the first storm will destroy them. For outdoor use you get more use out of them if you use shoe- laces through the center hole. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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Two little old ladies are sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman next to him asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman, and turning to the other woman proclaims: "Edna! He's single !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
I had been teaching my seventh-graders about World War II, and a test question was, "What was the largest amphibious assault of all time?" Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."
Old Gas Stations

Today, April 16, in
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland break, 100,000 drown
1492 Christopher Columbus signed a contract with Spain to 
 find a passage to Asia and the Indies.
1521 Martin Luther was excommunicated.
1524 New York Harbor was discovered by Giovanni Verrazano.
1629 Horses were first imported into the colonies by the 
 American Massachusetts Bay Colony.
1808 Bayonne Decree by Napoleon I of France ordered 
 the seizure of U.S. ships.
1810 Pineapple cheese was patented by Lewis M. Norton.
1824 Russia abandoned all North American claims south of 54' 40'.
1860 New Yorkers learned of a new law that required fire 
 escapes to be provided for tenement houses.
1895 China and Japan signed the Treaty of Shimonoseki. 
 It was the end of the first Sino-Japanese War. In the 
 treaty China ceded Taiwan to Japan.
1941 Igor Sikorsky accomplished the first successful 
 helicopter lift-off from water near Stratford, CT.
1946 The last French troops left Syria.
1961 About 1,400 U.S.-supported Cuban exiles invaded Cuba 
 at the Bay of Pigs in an attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro. 
 It was an unsuccessful attack.
1964 Jerrie Mock became first woman to fly an airplane 
 solo around the world.
1964 The Ford Motor Company unveiled its new Mustang model.
1975 Khmer Rouge forces capture the capital of Cambodia, 
 Phnom Penh. It was the end of the five-year war.
1983 In Warsaw, police routed 1,000 Solidarity supporters.
1985 In Lebanon, the cabinet resigned as Shiites took W. Beirut.
1987 In Sri Lanka, Tamil guerrillas killed 122 people 
 in a road ambush.
1989 In Poland, courts gave Solidarity legal status.
1993 A federal jury in Los Angeles convicted two former police
 officers of violating the civil rights of beaten motorist 
 Rodney King. Two other officers were acquitted.
1996 Erik and Lyle Menendez were sentenced to life in prison 
 without parole for killing their parents.
2013  smiled

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