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Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, April 28.

We had a nice and rambunctious Chinook.
The snow is history, and the last of last fall's leaves
have departed for Toronto and thereabouts. Well, actually,
the leaves will be ground to powder and will fertilize 
the prairies, but Toronto and Chicago will be getting snow
or a lot of rain in about 5 - 6 days. 

Once the Chinook has gone across the prairies, they call 
it "The Alberta Clipper".

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts. --- Bethania McKenstry You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not? --- George Bernard Shaw
A young boy was one of those little terrors who was hard to control. His father was surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bicycle for his birthday. He said, "Do you really believe that will improve his behavior?" She said, "Well, no, but it will spread it over a wider area."
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The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress on sale. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too."
Click on the picture for the large version Sequoia National Park Sierra Nevada
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephanie Lopez, 23, Phoenix, AZ Jailed for Marijuana and pipe in her vagina Reported by The Weekly Vice Stephanie Anne Lopez, a 23-year-old Arizona woman, was jailed Saturday after she allegedly stashed marijuana and a glass pipe inside her vagina. According to Phoenix Police, an officer was on routine patrol early Saturday morning when he notice an odor of marijuana coming from a vehicle that was driving in front of him with the windows rolled down. The vehicle was also changing lanes erratically, so the officer initiated a traffic stop in a Burger King parking lot. When the officer approached the vehicle, the smell of marijuana became intense. The officer then spoke with the driver, 25-year-old Alberto Reyna, who admitted that he had a .380 handgun in his back pocket. The officer placed Reyna in handcuffs and seated him on the curb. The passenger, Stephanie Lopez, was also asked to sit on the curb next to Reyna while the officer searched the vehicle. That's when Stephanie Lopez reportedly blurted out that the marijuana the officer was looking for was hidden inside her vagina. The officer proceeded to search the vehicle, which turned up a loaded .45 handgun in the center console. Lopez told the officer that she hid the marijuana and glass pipe inside her vagina for her boyfriend. She was booked into jail and charged with possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. Reyna was booked into jail and charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, drug violation and possession of a weapon during a drug offense. Tech Support Pits From: OP Re: MSIE needs to close Dear Webby as usual i have another problem. the message "internet explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close " pop's up at random and knocks me off the net. any suggestions? OP Dear OP That usually is a sign of bunged up memory. Run CrapCleaner and reboot. That should fix the problem for a week or so. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fragrant Bed Pillows I love it when the air around me smells fragrant. Here's a tip for good smelling bed linens. Find a fabric softener sheet whose scent you love, and cut it in half. Put one or both halves between the pillowcase and the bed pillow (one half on each side of the pillow). Every time you put your head on the pillow, you smell the fragrance just a little. It is not overwhelming. My guests often comment how nice it smells on the guest pillows. By Nicki from Warrensburg, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?" There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'yes.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's probably Sunday afternoon. If it's a Coast Guard aircraft it's two hours to Happy Hour. If it is a private airplane, it's around 3 PM."
A new bride moves into a small home on her husband's ranch. As she's putting her things away, she stores a shoebox on a shelf in her closet and asks her husband never to touch it. For 50 years, the man leaves the box alone. Then, as his wife is old and dying, he is putting their affairs in order and finds the box again. Opening it, he finds two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He takes the box to her and asks about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explains. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad enough at you, that I wanted to bash your head in." Her husband is touched that in 50 years she had been mad at him only twice. "But what's the $82,500 for?" he asks. "Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."
Scrimshaw Art (c.1850's)

Today, April 27, in
0357 - Constantius II visited Rome for the first time.
1282 - Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule 
 in Sicily.
1635 - Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason 
 and removed from office.
1686 - The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia Mathamatic" 
 was published.
1789 - A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a 
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. 
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
1818 - U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval disarmament 
 on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain.
1896 - The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan.
1902 - A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic.
1910 - First night air flight was performed by Claude 
 Grahame-White in England.
1914 - W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air conditioner.
1916 - The British declared martial law throughout Ireland.
1919 - The League of Nations was founded.
1920 - Azerbaijan joined the USSR.
1932 - The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced.
1937 - The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed 
 on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created by 
 Douglas Leight.
1945 - Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were 
 executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee 
 the country.
1946 - The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes.
1947 - Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five others 
 set out in a balsa wood raft known as Kon Tiki to prove that 
 Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia. The trip 
 began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the crossing of 
 the Pacific Ocean.
1952 - The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a 
 treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into effect.
1953 - French troops evacuated northern Laos.
1965 - The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican Republic 
 to evacuate Americans.
1967 - Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and 
 was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds 
 for his refusal.
1969 - Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France.
1974 - The last Americans were evacuated from Saigon.
1988 - In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the 
 fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight.
1989 - Mobil announced that they were divesting from South 
 Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly.
1994 - Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S. 
 secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to 
 espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in prison 
 without parole.
1996 - U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped 
 testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his 
 former Whitewater business partners.
1997 - A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took effect. 
 Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North Korea did 
 not sign.
2001 - A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the 
 first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California 
 businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination 
 was the international space station. 
2013  smiled


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