Which laptop to buy now? 

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Today is Monday, April 29.

Have FUN!

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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. -=- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase." The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare, just got on this vera moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus. It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me boy Jonny."
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Back during the days of the Soviet Union, it took 10 years to get a car after you paid for one. Once, a young guy went to the car dealership to order a car. He paid the money, and the asked when can he come and get the car. "It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from today". The man signed the papers, started waliking away and then stooped, turned and asked the salesman: "Wait, will it be ready at the morning or at the afternnon". "What difference does it make?", asked the salesman. "Well", answered the man, "the plumber is coming in the morning".
Click on the picture for the large version Sequoia National Park Sierra Nevada
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sara Elizabeth Soto, 25, Weatherford, Texas Jailed After Crawling Naked Through Couple's Doggy Door, Attempting To Find Phone In Their Bath Tub Reported by The Weekly Vice Sara Elizabeth Soto, a 25-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly crawled naked into a couple's home through a doggy door and was later found sitting in their bath tub. According to police, officers were dispatched to a Weatherford residence around 1:45 a.m. Tuesday morning after the homeowner called 911 to report that an unknown naked woman was sitting in his bath tub. Investigators say Soto removed the dress she was wearing so that she would be able to crawl through the couple's doggy door. The couple became alarmed when they thought they heard a noise in their kitchen. When the husband went to investigate, he found that the doggy door attachment had been damaged. Since the couple did not own a pet, the husband assumed that a wild animal had entered the residence. While going room to room to search for the animal, he discovered a naked Soto sitting in his bath tub. Arriving officers found Soto's black dress on the back porch and asked her to put it back on. During questioning, Soto stated that she had done nothing wrong and was merely trying to use the telephone. She was booked into the Parker County Jail and charged with criminal trespass and criminal mischief. Her bond has been set at $4,000. Tech Support Pits From: Lex Re: Which Laptop Dear Webby Thank you so much for you very informative as well as delightful newsletter. Please advise me as to what laptop I should invest in. I have a pc at home, but I will begin traveling with my job within the next two weeks, (for a week at a time) and want to continue my computer usage. My needs are rather basic such as sending email, research on the net, keeping records/notes, yahoo messenger to communicate with my friends and family while away and staying in hotels. I would appreciate you being very explicit as to what you think I should purchase since I am not very computer literate. Thanking you in advance for any help you might offer. An Avid Dear Webby reader Lex Dear Lex Avoid Windows 8. Even salesmen are reluctant to use it. You are limited to Windows 7 with 4 or 8 GB of RAM. Choose 8. The same yuppies, who buy gold plated cast iron wrist-watches, are paying premium prices for small and ligh-weight notebooks to show off at Starbucks. Laptops with larger displays gather dust at the dealers and are often surprisingly cheap. One thing to watch out for is the socket for a phone line. The liars at DELL claim that with everybody in China using WiFi, dial-up has gone out of fashion, and that you will just have to buy an external USB modem, if you want to fax or use dial-up. So, if the computer does not have that phone line socket, similar but smaller than the networking socket, tell them where to stuff it. Especially since they usually have no clue where to get an external USB modem, it is quite appropriate to get noisy about that. The only other consideration is warranty. Get three years of next business day on site warranty. Performance is irrelevant. If it can bring up Windows 7, it can handle anything that you might throw a t it. Compared to bringing up Windows 7, all your programs are totally negligible. Hard drive size is quite adequate nowadays. You probably have a 20 or 40 GB drive in your home desktop. If a laptop has 500 GB, that is plenty. Don't pay extra for a 1 TeraByte or 2 Terabyte drive. No matter what size drive you get, it will get filled to capacity in three years, if you don't weed it out now and then. Just get anything in the 50 - 500 Gb range and weed it out once a year. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg Carton for Painting Bolts My son, Chris, was spray-painting bolts for a project. They needed to be white on on the head and black on the nut end. He used an egg carton to hold them. It was easy to get good paint coverage and used less paint. Sally McQ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Yes, brave Oyster Slayer, they sure do." he replied.
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A man was brought before the court on the charge of refusing to obey a police officer. "Why did you refuse to move on when asked to do so by the officer?" the judge inquired, obviously wondering what unexplained force could have given such a man strength to buck a strong minion of the law. "It's like this, your honor," he explained. "My wife said I was to meet her at exactly twelve noon at that spot - and I was forced to choose between man's law and wife's law."
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance. "This is a very smart dog," the man commented. "He's not so smart," said one of the irked players. "Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
Chimney Rock

Today, April 29, in
1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over Britain.
1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan.
1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands.
1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel.
1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus published.
1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont.
1862 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War.
1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper.
1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba.
1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was 
 completed for Lindbergh.
1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered 
 unconditionally to the Allies.
1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun 
 were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz 
 his successor.
1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted 
 in Tokyo as war criminals.
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing 
 edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape 
 recordings related to the Watergate scandal.
1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North 
 Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon.
1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor 
 went online after a long delay due to protests.
1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began.
1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside 
 his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale 
 was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while 
 in captivity.
1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit 
 four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating 
 trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days.
1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which 
 granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes, 
 control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the 
 Gaza Strip and Jericho.
1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion 
 in NAFTA trade.
1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of 
 Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado.
2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO 
 headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia. 
 Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions. 
2013  smiled

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