headphone batteries 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, May 2

Have FUN!

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Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. --- Robert Orben Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages. --- Dave Barry Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy one day working in her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end. "Hello, is this Bonnie D?" "Yes." "We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey." Without missing a beat, she told them, "I'm very busy right now. You will have to survey your own briefs."
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>Thanks to fred for this: Married 52 years, I took a look at my wife Julie yesterday and said, "Honey, 52 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I go to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70+ year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." Now Julie is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed....
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kim Decker, 52, Rockaway Township, N.J. Jailed After Stuffing Bra With 333 Folds Of Heroin Reported by The Weekly Vice Kim Decker, a 52-year-old New Jersey woman, was jailed Monday after she was allegedly caught with more than 300 f olds of heroin stuffed inside her bra. According to New Jersey State Police, Decker was driving erratically on Route 80 Monday at about 1:30 a.m. when a trooper on patrol took notice and pulled over her Honda Accord. When the trooper approached the vehicle and spoke to Decker, neither she or the two passenger that were with her had valid drivers' licenses. The trooper called in a tow truck and prepared to have the vehicle impounded. As Decker and the two passengers were exiting the vehicle, the trooper noticed a wax fold in plain sight laying inside the vehicle. Knowing that wax folds were a common item used to package and distribute heroin, the trooper took Decker and the two passengers into custody. That's when Decker allegedly told the trooper that she had heroin hidden inside her bra. The trooper transported the three suspects to the Netcong police barracks where a female officers found 333 wax folds of heroin hidden inside her bra. Officers also searched Decker's Honda, which produced drug paraphernalia, according to an arrest affidavit. Decker was booked into the Morris County Correctional Facility and charged with possession of heroin and possession of heroin with intent to distribute. Her bail was set at $50,000. Passengers William Malony and Ernest Broadwell (both 51) were booked into jail on similar charges. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: headphone batteries Webby, depending in what kind of headphones Nancy has, they may require additional batteries or even have a hard to see on off switch, as another consideration CArol T Dear Carol You are right! And some headphones have an in-line volume-control and Mute switch in the cable. The socket for the headphone plug should be protected as much as possible. Make sure no books or anything will ever rest on the plug, or that the plug is nicely supported. A right angle plug that is as flush as possible is always a very good investment, considering how much repairs of a laptop motherbaord cost. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recognizing Your Luggage When on a recent trip, I noticed one traveler attached a colorful nylon "scrubbie" to his luggage. Not only was it cute, but really stood out from the rest of us with ribbon attached to our luggage. The dollar store sells them and really makes it easy to identify your luggage. Happy traveling! By Tedebear from San Jose CA Excellent idea! I remember when I was the first one to use a bright red belt in the early 70's, and how colored belts become common in the 90's. So I switched to a bright red wheely. Well, by the mid 2000's those became very fashionable, so I painted a 4" wide, bright yellow stripe on all six sides. They have not copied that, yet. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful, I had tennis elbow once."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to just boil the sauce again and it should be fine. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
» Human Planet

Today, May 2, in
1519 Leonardo da Vinci died.
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's 
 King Charles II.
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American 
 rebels fighting the British.
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead 
 to the rest of the fleet.
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced 
 British troops to agree to evacuate the port of 
 Santo Domingo.
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon.
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at 
1863 Confederate Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson was 
 wounded by his own men in the battle of 
 Chancellorsville, VA. He died 8 days later.
1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward 
 for the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid 
 photographic film. This is the film from which movies 
 are shown.
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film 
 was released. It was created by magician George Melies.
1919 The first U.S. air passenger service started.
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt 
 and to protect U.S. interests, did not depart until 1933.
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany.
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq 
 and that country’s pro-German faction.
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce 
 house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender 
 of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria.
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison.
1960 Caryl Chessman was executed. He was a convicted sex 
 offender and had become a best selling author while on 
 death row.
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit 
 television pictures across the Atlantic.
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State 
 University burn down the campus ROTC building. The 
 National Guard took control of the campus.
1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA.
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's 
 only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland 
 Islands War. More than 350 people died.
2002 It was reported that Phyllis Diller had retired 
 from touring.
2013  smiled

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