Sunday, May 5, 2013, 01:02 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 5.
Cinco de Mayo, state holiday in Mexifornia.
The Cinco de Mayo is not, in its origins, a Mexican holiday
at all but rather an American one, created by Latinos in
California in the middle of the 19th century. The key events
celebrated on May 5 were taking place in Mexico, when Mexico
beat up the French Army and prevented France from supplying
the Confederates with arms and ammo and support and from
breaking the Union blockade of the Southern ports.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
I respect faith,
but doubt is what gets you an education.
--- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)
Fashion is something that goes in one year and
out the other.
--- Socratex
A marriage is always made up of two people who are
prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
--- Terry Pratchett
Thanks to Nanarina for this news item:
Detroit Police last night announced the discovery of an
arms cache of 2000 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds
of ammunition, 2 tons of heroin, $5 million in forged US
banknotes and 15 trafficked Latino prostitutes - all in
a semi-detached house behind the Public Library on
Woodward Ave.
Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman
said, "We all be shocked; none of us never knew we
had a liberry."
A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his
name. After everything was done at the funeral home and
cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none
of the $30,000 left.
The friend asked, "How can that be?"
The widow replied, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And
of course I made a donation to the shul ..that was $500,
and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people
when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone?
My, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
Thanks to Sailor for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
These flares were 200,000 km hih.
200,000 km = 25,000 times as high as Mt Everest
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Dareka Brooks,22, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Hooker Jailed After Macing Boy, Fleeing Scene
With Piggy Bank and iPad
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Dareka Brooks, a 22-year-old Milwaukee woman, was jailed Wednesday
after she allegedly robbed a 14-year-old boy of his piggy bank after
he tried to pay her for sex.
According to the Cook County Sheriff's Office, a 14-year-old boy
used his iPad to contact Brooks after he logged onto a website
known for listing pay-for-sex advertisements.
Brooks reportedly agreed to the boy's invitation and arranged to
meet him at his home while his parents were away.
When Brooks arrived at the boy's home to carry out the
encounter, she told him to go into a bedroom and take off
his pants. While the teen was sitting on his bed, Brooks
maced him and fled the scene with his iPad, a piggy bank
and an undisclosed amount of cash.
Investigators say the teen immediately called police and
gave them a description of Brooks and the vehicle she left
in. Officers were able to locate Brooks at a local hotel
after she turned on the boy's iPad.
She was apprehended at the scene when police found the stolen
items in her possession.
Brooks was booked into jail and charged with armed robbery.
Her bond has been set at $10,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jerry
Re: Caps Locked text
Dear Webby,
I am editing (pro bono) a local service club monthly
bulletin and occasionally get a script IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
I don't mind going through two or three paragraphs, but it
will take forever to rewrite several pages -- not to mention
how boring it is.
If anyone knows a shortcut, I figure it is you.
CAN YOU HELP?
Thanx,
Jerry
Dear Jerry
Just send it back to them and tell them that they are giving
AOL a bad name, again.
Jerry, you are not doing them a favor by lowering your
standards to theirs!
Bring them up to YOURS!
He's a poor teacher, who has never been called a meanie.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Opt-Out of Yellow Pages Delivery
You can opt-out of receiving the yellow pages by visiting
the following address. I almost never use a paper yellow
pages any more since just about every business has a
website so I really appreciate not having to receive
delivery of them.
yellowpagesoptout.com
By Fletcher Sandbeck
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving
in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer,
"What is your business in Australia?"
"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.
The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction
record?"
Confused, the Kiwi then replied,
"I didn't know you still needed one!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Waiting in a long, slow-moving line for security clearance
at the Edmonton International Airport in Canada, I was
annoyed to hear a loud male voice behind me. "Excuse me,
excuse me," said the man as he pushed his way to the front.
"I want to make sure I get a good seat."
I resolved not to let this line-jumper get ahead of me.
When I felt a tap on my shoulder. I slowly turned around,
prepared to give the man a sriously raised eybrow,
-- but found myself face to face with a smiling pilot.
There was a university in New England where the students
operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework
assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it
would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly
handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade,
B grade, and C grade.
One student, who had spent the weekend on more
"extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his
course was a standard one he took out a paper for a
inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed
the work in.
In due course he received it back with the professor's
comments.
"I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always
thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give
it one!"
Today, May 5, in
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second
trip to the Western Hemisphere. He named the island Santa Gloria.
1809 Mary Kies was awarded the first patent to go to a woman.
It was for technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.
1814 The British attacked the American forces at Ft. Ontario,
Oswego, NY.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte died on the island of St. Helena,
where he had been in exile.
1862 The Battle of Puebla took place. It is celebrated as
Cinco de Mayo Day.
1865 The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified, abolishing
slavery in the U.S.
1886 A bomb exploded on the fourth day of a workers'
strike in Chicago, IL.
1892 The U.S. Congress extended the Geary Chinese Exclusion
Act for 10 more years. The act required Chinese in the U.S.
to be registered or face deportation.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda began publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic.
1925 John T. Scopes, a biology teacher in Dayton, TN,
was arrested for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
1945 The Netherlands and Denmark were liberated from Nazi
control.
1945 A Japanese balloon bomb exploded on Gearhart Mountain
in Oregon. A pregnant woman and five children were killed.
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when
he made a 15 minute suborbital flight.
1981 Irish Republican Army hunger-striker Bobby Sands died
at the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland. It was his 66th
day without food.
2000 The final episode of "Boy Meets World" aired on ABC.
2013 smiled
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