Monitors from Costco? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, May 6.

Have FUN!

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Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves. --- Carl Sagan (Like he did with his "Ice Age Is Coming" campaign at the END of the previous cooling ripple, which was the model for Al Gore's "Gullible Warming" campaign, at the END of the warming ripple.)
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for hours for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
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Becky and Sally were doing some carpentry work on their house. Becky, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" Feel free to change the names when you re-tell this one!
Thanks to Sailor for these pictures: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nikki Scherwitz, 25, Freeport, TX Teacher jailed For Having Sex With Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Nikki Scherwitz, a 25-year-old English teacher at Brazosport High School, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old student. According to police, an investigation was launched April 22nd after Scherwitz showed up at a student planned after-prom party, drank alcohol and then left with a 16-year-old student. Investigators say rumors of an alleged sexual relationship between Scherwitz and a student had been circulating around the school for weeks when she showed up at a student's home for an after-prom party on April 20. "One of the students told her it wasn't right for her to be there and drink booze, and asked her to leave," said Raymond Garivey of the Freeport Police Dept. "We have information that she was consuming alcohol." Suspicion was raised even further, however, when Scherwitz allegedly left the party with a 16-year-old student. As the investigation unfolded, Scherwitz allegedly admitted to having a relationship with the student that spanned several weeks. "The relationship started with text messaging, which led to explicit text messaging, which led to sex," said Garivey. Scherwitz reportedly resigned her position with the school on April 22nd when she learned that she was under investigation for the alleged relationship. Although Scherwitz is married she is now separated from her husband, according to reports. Scherwitz was booked into the Freeport Jail and charged with sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between educator and student. She was released after posting $50,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: VGA monitor Dear Webby, I need to buy a new monitor. My gorgeous Lenovo 1600x1200 LED monitor died. I am limping along on the old NEC 19" CRT, that has been sitting in the garage for many years now. It too is 1600x1200, but I can hardly believe how dim it is compared to a modern LED monitor! I realize that 4:3 monitors are reserved for Asia and that we just get the rejects, that are only 2/3 as high, but I can't afford to fly to China or Singapore to buy a 4:3 monitor, so I am gritting my teeth and preparing to settle on what you call a "Sawed off runt". Well, nobody wanted W7 either, but accepted it with nary a whimper. If some aliens want to take us over, all they have to do is tell us slavery is a fashionable upgrade. Anyway, before i get into politics, back to monitors. I saw a bunch of nice looking monitors at Costco with prices, that seemed as good or better than Tiger's, but would save me the shipping cost. I realize that the floor crew at Costco specializes on being friendly, but usually does not know much more than the price, same as at any store, these days. So I am asking you: Are those monitors a good deal? Angela Dear Angela I had to get a prescription refill anyway, so I went and had a look at the monitors at Costco. Those monitors are OK, if you have just bought a computer from them. I saw a Samsung labelled VGA, DVI, 24". $159 I asked them to open a box. No problem. There was a DVI cable included, to fit this year's computers, but no VGA cable to fit your older computer. DUH! I asked, if the VGA cable for computers, that are more than one or two years old, are available as an option, since the label on the shelf said VGA, DVI. He phoned the back office. You are right about the floor crew at Costco being very friendly. However, the back-office seems to be staffed with people, who have sharp elbows and PMS. He was told that the included cable fit the computers, that they were currently selling. Maybe a competitor was selling cables. So, if your computer is a few years old, then hopefully the VGA cable on the old monitor is detachable and not hardwired in. Then you can re-use that cable. Otherwise you will have to go to a local recycler or pack-rat and buy a used VGA cable. 15 pin VGA is analog, 17 pin DVI is digital. If you have secured a 15 pin VGA cable, then go for it. Just make sure you got a cable before you spend money. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Fruit Fly Trap I absolutely hate fruit flies! This trap is very easy to make and works really well. I always have this trap set up on the counter, so an infestation never has a chance to take hold. :) Approximate Time: 5 minutes Supplies: red wine vinegar Dawn dish soap plastic wrap rubber band toothpick clear jar Put 3-4 drops of Dawn soap into the bottom of the jar. Pour 6 Tbsp. of red wine vinegar into the jar (or enough to fill it about 1/4 in.). Gently swirl the jar around to combine the ingredients. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the jar and pull it tight across the top. Secure it with a rubber band. Trim off any excess plastic. Using a toothpick, poke holes into the plastic so the flies can get in. Place your trap near any fruit you have out on the counter. Goodbye fruit flies! NOTE: I change out my mixture about every 2 weeks, more often if I am catching a lot of fruit flies. By lalala... Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors! A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it. Get LCD Monitor Repair!

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in many years!
Cubby Holes

Today, May 6, in
1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the 
 end of the Renaissance.
1529 Babur defeated the Afghan Chiefs in the Battle of 
 Ghagra, India.
1840 The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale in GB
1851 The mechanical refrigerator was patented by Dr. John Gorrie.
1851 Linus Yale patented the clock-type lock.
1861 Arkansas became the ninth state to secede from the Union.
1877 Chief Crazy Horse surrendered to U.S. troops in Nebraska.
1882 The U.S. Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act. The act 
 barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years.
1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking 
 the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was 
 the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz.
1937 The German airship Hindenburg crashed and burned in 
 Lakehurst, NJ. Thirty-six people (of the 97 on board) were killed.
1941 Joseph Stalin assumed the Soviet premiership.
1942 During World War II, the Japanese seized control of the 
 Philippines. About 15,000 Americans and Filipinos on Corregidor 
 surrendered to the Japanese.
1945 Axis Sally made her final propaganda broadcast to 
 Allied troops.
1957 U.S. Senator John Fitzgerald Kennedy was awarded the Pulitzer 
 Prize for his book "Profiles in Courage".
1960 Britain's Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong Jones. 
 They were divorced in 1978.
1960 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960.
1962 The first nuclear warhead was fired from the Polaris submarine.
1994 The Chunnel officially opened. The tunnel under the English Channel 
 links England and France.
1994 Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against U.S. 
 President Clinton. The case alleged that he had sexually harassed 
 her in 1991.
1999 A parole board in New York voted to release Amy Fisher. 
 She had been in jail for 7 years for shooting her lover's wife, 
 Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.
2002 "Spider-Man" became the first movie to make more than 
 $100 million in its first weekend.
2013  smiled

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