A way to get your address blocked 

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Today is Tuesday, May 7

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Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments, and they wander off through equation after equation, and eventually build a structure which has no relation to reality. --- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943), A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day. "What for?" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!" Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
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The other day, I had no choice, I had to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I went to the Army-Navy surpluse store, and bought some OD pants and a shirt. Then I sewed a couple of patches on which I grabbed from the internet. Stuck on my pilot sunglasses and was off! It was amazing how many people left as I walked in. I guess they suddenly decided they werent' that sick after all. Here is the patch that you can sew on your clothing if you are in need of reasonably prompt emergency service. You can order the ptches from Copshop.com
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Krystal Thomas, 23, Syracuse, N.Y. Jailed After Stabbing Toddler Son In Testicles During Argument With Child's Father Reported by The Weekly Vice Krystal Thomas, a 23-year-old New York woman, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly stabbed her 2-year-old son's testicles in retaliation for an argument she was having with the child's father. According to police, the incident began on Tuesday when Thomas and her boyfriend, Ron Craven, became engaged in an argument that began spiraling out of control. Craven decided to leave the residence for awhile, hoping that Thomas would calm down in his absence. When he returned to the house, however, he found Thomas "acting stranger than usual" while holding a butcher knife in her hand. Investigators say the couple began arguing again and continued to argue as Craven went outside into the driveway. That's when Thomas reportedly jumped into a vehicle and attempted to run Craven over. Craven was rolled onto the vehicle's hood as he tried to jump out of the way. Thomas backed up for a second run. During Thomas' second attempt, she struck the home's front porch and another vehicle before fleeing the scene. When Craven walked into the residence to check on their son, he found the boy bleeding heavily from the groin area. The boy was taken to an area hospital where it was discovered he had been stabbed in the testicles. The boy was treated for a two-inch stab wound and is expected to recover. When officers found Thomas the next day, she reportedly told them that she stabbed her son to "stop him from later multiplying," according to the arrest affidavit. She was booked into jail and charged with felony counts of assault, attempted assault and reckless endangerment. She remains held in lieu of $500,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Auto responder Dear Webby At first I was miffed at your reply, that sounded like you had preached the same thing too many times. Pardon me for not having been subscribed as long as others. Then I phoned my daughter, hoping she had a different explanation. Well, golly, she didn't. And she had me blacklisted! Not on purpose, but as you said, anything that smells like an auto- responder gets dumped and the sender blacklisted. Now I dumped my autoresponder, and the stupid book that recommended it. Thanks Alice Dear Alice Good for you! Autoresponders are only justified when they deliver requested information, like for example a price list, or weather update, or event schedule, or even race results when somebody sends a blank email to a certain address. Other than that, it's best to avoid them like the plague. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Raised Beds Using Cardboard Boxes This year I want to try raised beds in my garden, but I don't want to spend any money on purchasing the wood necessary to make them, plus all the work involved. So I came up with this idea - why not use cardboard boxes from the grocery stores? I plan on getting approximately 12 inch deep ones with sturdier sides. I think that they should hold up for one entire summer. I will let you know how I fare with them. If this works, I'll be so happy! By annelaundrie from Green Bay, WI Cardboard will just make a big mess. You can get "slabs", the sides of logs, for free from any sawmill. They will even cut them to 4 feet length, so that you can haul them on your bicycle or in a car. Hammer those slabs into the ground or bury the ends of them, and stomp the dirt on their side, so that you have a tight fence. Regular hay-wire ($5 / mile) strung from side to side will keep them from leaning out as you fill the beds. To fill raied beds to waist high, for easy planting, weeding, harvesting, the proper way is to start with heater stuff. Cardboard, roots from stumps, rotten wood, etc., stuff that will slowly decompose and provide spring and fall heat. Then on top of that put a layer of compost. That will provide nutrition and faster heat. Top it off with screened garden dirt. If you just want edging, up to a foot high, you can use slabs lengthwise, held in place with concrete re-bar hammered in, or even sticks hammered in to keep them in place. Peeled slabs look quite nice and after a few seasons turn silvery. They last 20 - 25 years. Some people paint them black to absorb more sun in spring, but because the wood is an insulator, that is a waste of time. If you want to plant earlier, put re-bar or plastic pipe hoops like on a covered wagon onto your raised beds and cover them with clear plastic. Make the ends so that they are easy to open, preferably with a string from your house, and put a large exterior thermometer into at least one of them. Even if the nights and mornings are below freezing, afternoons can make your raised bed hothouses way too hot for plants. That system with slabs and hooped plastic tunnel worked fine for me and others even in the Yukon. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, when a salesman runs up to him and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it." "Well, what if you hit it into the woods?" "Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed." "Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?" "No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!" The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?" "I found it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced. The wife answered the door. "Come in," she said. The other couple came in,sat down, then asked, "Where's John?" "Oh," replied his wife,"he's in the bathroom, grouting and spackling." "Oh, dear," said the other lady, "I had that once and didn't get over it for two weeks.
» Cubby Holes

Today, May 7, in
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople 
 collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian.
1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate 
 the election of the pope.
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc.
1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling 
 class and church.
1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British 
 in New York.
1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew 
 over College Park, MD.
1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German 
 submarine. 1,201 people were killed.
1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's 
 exports were motors.
1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist 
 Franco’s forces.
1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political 
 alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis.
1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American 
 navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the 
 first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy 
 fleets fought without seeing each other.
1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II. 
 It would take effect the next day.
1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded. 
 The company was later renamed Sony.
1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games 
 by the International Olympic Committee.
1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at 
 Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting.
1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the 
 Soviet Union's bid to join NATO.
1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War.
1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in 
 the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans 
 who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the 
 defoliant while serving in the armed forces.
1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring 
 the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was 
 ratified as the 27th Amendment.
1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that 
 Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit 
 during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been 
 plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar 
 agreements to return the gold.
1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion. 
 It was the largest industrial merger on record. 
1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the 
 first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000.
1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed 
 and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the 
 Chinese embassy.
2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six 
 fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others 
 to test drive during the next two years.
2013  smiled

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