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Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, May 13

Sunday was warm enough to hedge my raspberries. The easiest
way to tell which shoots were live and which ones were dead 
was by location. The live shoots tend to all be outside the
guide wires, and only the dead ones in between the guide 
wires. The live shoots also had tiny green bits on them.

They sure look skimpy after hedging! I will probably lift 
the pieces of blown off tar paper shingles, that I have 
between the plants to avoid having to weed them.

When I was a kid we had 10 rows of raspberries, 12 Meters long.
All the shoots were neatly tied with Raffia to tautly strung 
haywire. The rows were a few inches lower than the lawn-mower-
wide path between the rows, and weeding those trenches was
one of my chores. I try to avoid that chore since then.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they? Some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. It is actually no real problem at all. Just sign this automatic invoice payment authorization, then we can both relax and dicuss your condition."
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A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marlena Mints, 31, in Cedar Hill, TX Charged With Having Sex With Students Reported by The Weekly Vice Marlena Mints, a 31-year-old health teacher at Bessie Coleman Middle School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with at least two students. According to police, an investigation was launched in late April after a coach at the same middle school reported that a 13-year-old student was overheard bragging about having sex with Mints. As the investigation unfolded, detectives learned that Mints allegedly had sexual contact with several students. Investigators the first relationship began when a 13-year-old student texted Mints and told her that he was having a problem with his penis. Mints reportedly texted the student back, stating that she could help him with his problem, but that she'd have to have a look at his penis in person. The student told investigators that he thought it would be okay because Mints was his health and sex education teacher. When he went to the school and exposed himself to her, she allegedly performed oral sex on him. The student also stated that other students in the class touched Mints' breasts and buttocks. As detectives were investigating the first student's claims, they learned that Mints had also been exchanging text messages with a 17-year-old student. During her text conversation with the older student she allegedly asked him if he "liked white girls." She then allegedly picked the student up, drove him to her home and performed oral sex on him. Mints was booked into jail and charged with aggravated sexual assault of a child and two counts of improper relationship with students. Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Which is the best browser? Dear Webby With all this panicking about browser security, which is the best one? I don't want to have to keep switching and learning a new one every month. Alex Dear Alex I use Firefox. It gets updated frequently to stay the most secure browser, but it's no panic, if you miss some updates. It has lots of features, and because it is the most popular browser, a lot of programmers have written add-ons for it. The huge choice of add-ons can be confusing. Suffice it to say, if you do have any needs, that are not covered by the browser, there are add-ons for that. Chrome claims to be faster, but I find it less versatile. Opera is fast too, but takes some getting used to. Safari has good font rendering and is great for reading long texts, but other than that, is hardly worth mentioning. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Canned Beans Upside Down I was putting my cans in the pantry from a recent trip to the supermarket and decided to share this. For all who use canned beans of any sort, I'm sure you've had to deal with the beans on the bottom and juice/soup at the top. When you turn the can up to empty it, all the goodies are in the bottom. I store mine upside down so that all the beans settle in the top of the can and the soup is in the bottom. When I open it, everything just jumps out into the sauce pan or wave dish. I don't have to scrape or put water in it to get everything out. By MartyD Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda..."The Apostles were in one Accord."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A pastor saw Robert Schuller's TV program "Hour of Power." One of the things that impressed him the most during the program was watching everyone turn around to shake hands with and greet other worshippers seated near them. The pastor felt that his church was a bit stuffy and could use a bit of friendliness. So, at Sunday morning worship he announced that next week they would initiate this custom of greeting one another. At the close of this same worship service one man turned around to the lady behind him and said a cheerful, "Good morning!" She looked back at him with shock at his boldness and said, "I beg your pardon! That friendliness business doesn't start until next Sunday!"
Crazy Pixels

Today, May 13, in
1607 Jamestown, Virginia, was settled as a colony of England.
1648 Margaret Jones of Plymouth was found guilty of witchcraft 
 and was sentenced to be hanged by the neck.
1779 The War of Bavarian Succession ended.
1787 Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He 
 successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on 
 January 18, 1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight 
 days later and settled at Port Jackson.
1821 The first practical printing press was patented in the U.S. 
 by Samuel Rust.
1846 The U.S. declared that war already existed with Mexico.
1861 Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War.
1865 The last land engagement of the American Civil War was 
 fought at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas, 
 more than a month after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox
1880 Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway 
 in Menlo Park.
1913 Igor Sikorsky flew the first four engine aircraft.
1917 Three peasant children near Fatima, Portugal, reported 
seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary.
1927 "Black Friday" occurred in Germany.
1949 The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed 
 in Wilmar, AR.
1958 French troops took control of Algiers.
1958 U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by 
rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela.
1968 Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began 
 in Paris.
1981 Pope John Paul II was shot and seriously wounded in 
 St. Peter's Square by Turkish assailant Mehmet Ali Agca.
1985 A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the 
 radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto 
 the group's headquarters. 11 people died in the fire that 
 resulted.
1996 In Bangladesh 600 people were killed by a tornado.
1998 India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first 
 round had been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S. 
 and Japan imposed tough economic sanctions. India claimed 
 that the tests were necessary to maintain India's national 
 security.
1999 In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris 
 Yeltsin began. 
2013  smiled


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