Storebought McAfee 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, May 15

Thanks, Steve!
Is there any special religious significance to $6.66 ?

Have FUN!

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A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions-- as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out the door to the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful National Popcorn Day in my life!"
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>From Nanarina (in the USA) THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT... Women are having sex with their husbands and boyfriends because they can't afford batteries. Jury duty is now considered a good-paying job. Banks are now mailing us pre-declined credit cards. African TV now shows "sponsor an American child" commercials. CEO's are playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen. ATMs now give IOUs! A stripper was bruised when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies. Mormon polygamists now have only one wife. If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds", you ask if they mean you or them. McDonald's is now selling a quarter-ouncer. Beverly Hills parents are firing their nannies and learning their children's names. Hookers offer discounts for johns paying with Canadian Dollars A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico. A picture is now worth only 200 words. They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street". Hookers accept food stamps Church ushers have car-hop style coin dispensers to give change for a Dollar
Click on the picture for the large version Over the CO2 Quota! Naughty volcano!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mohammed Ahmed,21, from Illinois Man Celebrates Wedding By Getting Arrested For Soliciting Hooker On His Honeymoon Reported by The Smoking Gun 21-year-old Mohammed Ahmed was one of scores of men arrested in a prostitution sweep conducted last week by the Polk County Sheriff’s Office in Florida. According to investigators, the alleged john answered an online ad posted by an undercover detective posing as a hooker. Seen in the mug shot, Ahmed was arrested when he arrived for his paid liaison. Ahmed, an Illinois resident, was in the Sunshine State on his honeymoon when he was busted for soliciting prostitution and pot possession. When Ahmed did not return to his bride at the Omni Hotel, she called police to report him missing. The woman was subsequently told by cops that her husband was not MIA, that he had been arrested for seeking to pay for sex from a hooker. Was he trying to get a second, and possibly less critical opinion? Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: Long Lasting McAfee? Dear Webby Did McAfee make an edition with a shelf life? What about Kapersky? Steve Dear Steve The dusty "stroeboughts" are mainly just a coupon to download the current version. Usually the "stroeboughts" also have some VERY basic anti-virus stuff on it, mainly to kill viruses, that prevent you from downloading name brand anti-virus programs and updates. The CD kills those, and cleans up the "Hosts" file, and directs you to There is very little actual difference between Kasperki and McAfee. One week one of them is a hair ahead, the next week the other one. They both use Taliban for tech support, and both of them seem to be too big to be genuinely interested in customer service. However, even with those shortcomings, they are a class better than Norton or all the free ones. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Plastic Bottles for Patio Chairs I was given some old patio chairs that are very sturdy. I love them, however they are rusted on the bottoms of the chair legs. I went and recycled some bottoms of those plastic soda bottles and put them under chair legs. They don't make an annoying sound when I move them on the patio and the kids feet don't get near the bottoms of the chair legs. By Eric W. If you scrub the rusty chair legs with CocaCola and crumpled Alumin foil, that will s crub off the loose rust and turn the solid rust into Iron Phosphate. You can also buy Phosphoric Acid from the better drug stores. Iron Phosphate is, chemically speaking, a salt, and can not oxidize or decay further. It looks, surprise, surprise, battleship-gray. After that, you can paint it any color you want. Instead of bottle bottoms, that will trap moisture, it is better to glue buttons cut from old leather soled shoe soles onto the feet for easy and quiet sliding. Regular, cheap Contact Cement works well. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my neighbor's wife said, "but I don't want the eggs." "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" she asked incredulously. "I'll take the special." "How do you want your eggs?" "Raw and in the shell," she replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Speaking of cakes,... Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect! Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom. Alice was horrified she was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? Oh, my she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back. The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attended the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP 'd she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South... and to Alice's horror, THE CAKE was presented for dessert. Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, Thank you, I baked it myself." Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."
» Nature's Impressionistic Talents

Today, May 15, in
1602 Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold.
1618 Johannes Kepler discovered his harmonics law.
1702 The War of Spanish Succession began.
1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased 
 Corsica from Genoa, shortly before Napoleon was born.
1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan.
1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in 
 possession of Sicily.
1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of 
 Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of 
 the Sherman Antitrust Act.
1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell 
 civil disorder.
1926 Roald Amundsen and Lincoln Ellsworth were forced down 
 in Alaska after a four-day flight over an icecap. Ice had 
 begun to form on the dirigible Norge.
1930 Ellen Church became the first airline stewardess.
1940 Nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in the U.S.
1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was 
 3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles.
1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq 
 and Lebanon only hours after declaring its independence.
1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas Island 
 in the Pacific Ocean.
1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched 
 in the Soviet Union.
1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched.
1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first two 
 female generals.
1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer 
 in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency. 
 Wallace was paralyzed by the shot.
1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from 
 Cambodia's Khmer Rouge.
1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the 
 United States took place.
1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by 
1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 115,000 
 troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been there for 
 more than eight years.
1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to 
 deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh American 
 astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station.
1999 The Russian parliament was unable a attain enough votes 
 to impeach President Boris Yeltsin. 
2013  smiled

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