Email not getting through 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, May 24.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thursday it snowed. By mid-afternoon we had 10 cm (4").
Then the wind shifted and the snowing turned into an icy rain.
The temperature rose, though, and by 8:30 it was 3 -4 degrees 
above freezing, and the rain washed most of the snow away in
a big hurry.

I really don't like horizontal rain on my glasses, so I dug 
out the umbrella, that I had bought years ago at the Dollar 
Store. Here it's not like Vancouver, where every store and
restaurant has a pile of forgotten umbrellas and gladly give
you some. "Are you sure you only left one? We got TONS!"

Actually, I have not been in Vancouver for many years, and 
don't know if things are still the same.

So i went for a walk with my totally untried Dollar Store
umbrella and was pleasantly surprised. It handled the rain 
and wind without any problems. 

The smooth grip, though, has no class. I intend to change 
that with either hockey tape or vulcanizing tape, whichever
I find first in the garage.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it." "You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where I am supposed to be going today!"
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Thanks to Matt for bringing back this classinc: HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one. Bryan invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate, Jessica, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious of a relationship between Bryan and Jessica, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more between Bryan and Jessica than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jessica and I are just roommates." About a week later, Jessica came to Bryan saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Bryan Several days later, Bryan received an email from his mother that read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jessica, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jessica. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Taylor Powers, 21, Colorado Rescued Off Colorado Mountain After Getting High On Mushrooms, Stripping Off Her Clothes Reported by The Smoking Gun Taylor Powers. The college student, 21, had to be rescued yesterday afternoon off a Colorado mountain after she ingested mushrooms, stripped off her clothes, and scuffled with two male classmates, with whom she had been hiking. After receiving a 911 call that a female hiker was “high on mushrooms and in distress,” Boulder County Sheriff’s Office deputies and other assorted rescue personnel (35 in total) responded to Chautauqua Park. Powers, seen above, was located by a park ranger right where they had told him they were. He discovered that the University of Colorado undergrad had “removed all of her clothing and was being restrained” by two male companions. Rescuers had to handcuff the unruly Powers, who struggled as she was placed in a rescue basket. Cited for unlawful consumption of a controlled substance, Powers was transported to a Boulder hospital, where she was treated and released last night. “Further charges are pending against others involved,” deputies reported. I wonder if the bonehead award should really go to the two clowns, who could not cope with her freaking out, a common occurrence with mushrooms, or whoever decided to send 35 "Rescuers" to pick up one stoned hippie girl at a known location. Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Mail not getting through Dear Webby I am sending this from a friend's computer, because mail from my computer does not seem to get through to anybody. What could be the cause of that? My regualr address is alicer@... Alice Dear Alice The reason your mail is blocked by everybody is because you use an autoresponder. That makes you look like a silly moron and a nuisance, and your address gets blacklisted. Most spam control programs recognize autoresponders, automatically dump mails from them and blacklist that address. Get rid of that dumb autoresponder and change your address. Most likely some of your friends will forgive you for having annoyed them with an autoresponder. Keep in mind, the whole county knows, that you leave the office at quarter to five, and when they send you a late night joke for the next morning, they really don't need a silly auto-responder telling them, that you are out of the office. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Removing Stains on Formica To remove a stain on your Formica counter top, just slather a thick amount of dish washing detergent over it and let it sit for several hours, then wipe it up. The detergent seems to draw the stain into it. I discovered this by accident and it works over 90% of the time. By Ramona from Ocala, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over an unconscious man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes" says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... put me down for a five."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't pay any attention to him, pastor. He slept through it all and only repeats what he hears others say."
» Demotivational Stuff

Today, May 24, in
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered 
 solar system.
1607 Captain Christopher Newport and 105 followers found 
 the colony of Jamestown at the mouth of the James River 
 on the coast of Virginia.
1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia’s 
 charter was revoked and it became a royal colony.
1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration, 
 protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically 
 excluded from exemption.
1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without
 representation" and called for the colonies to unite in 
 demonstrating their opposition to Britain’s new tax measures.
1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was 
 imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British 
1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S. 
 began service.
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first 
 telegraph line. The first message was sent from 
 Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was 
 "What hath God wrought?"
1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston.
1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge 
 was opened to traffic.
1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from 
 England to Australia.
1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck 
 in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived.
1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was 
 opened in Jersey City, NJ.
1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde 
 service to Washington.
1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's 
 World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years 
 in prison.
1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas 
 explosion in the Ukraine.
2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded 
 when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing, 
 Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the 
 basement and then shot them.
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent 
 normal trade relations with China.
2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington 
 brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record.
2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest. 
2013  smiled

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