What to do when pictures are too large? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, May 29.

Thank you Andrew!

From Mike:
Hi Dear Webby,
Thanks for brightening my day each morning! I really 
look forward to reading your humor every day.
The last time I contributed was close to a year ago, 
so when my budget allows, I will be sending you 
another contribution this year.
Your joke about the senior citizen and the college 
student is one of my favorites, being an 
almost-senior-citizen myself. I find it particularly 
appropriate that the original version was actually 
attributed to Ronald Reagan in his biography: 

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"In a new interview, Uma Thurman says that when she wants to lose weight, she keeps her food intake down by eating in the nude. Actually, I tried that once, but I was kicked out of Denny's." --Conan O'Brien
My cousin Marion and the church organist were discussing music for Marion's wedding service. A first-time bride at 30, she said she'd like a song from Fiddler on the Roof. "You mean 'Sunrise, Sunset'?" the organist asked. "Actually," Marion replied, "I was thinking of 'Miracle of Miracles.'"
Hardware Diagnostics If you are not sure, that the problem is messed up software, get the Microscope V16 Software Hardware Diagnostics With Over 250 Proprietary Functions. That's what the Pro's use to quickly determine what needs to be replaced or upgraded.

>Thanks to Rosie for this: On his way home from work recently, my husband came upon a 'Road Closed' sign. Undeterred, he maneuvered his truck around it and continued on. But he didn't get very far. The pavement ended with a 20 foot deep trench, and another, larger sign: "What Part of 'Road Closed' did you not understand?"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture! Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeremy Lovitt, 23, and Gabriel Gonzaels, 19, Stockton, Calif Jeremy Lovitt, Gabriel Gonzalez, Robbers Stranded When Burger King Employee Takes Getaway Car Reported by The Hufington Post Two alleged robbers were left high and dry Thursday when a Burger King employee hid their getaway car, Fox 40 reported. Police in Stockton, Calif., say Jeremy Lovitt, 23, and Gabriel Gonzales, 19, held up the fast food restaurant at gunpoint at about 9:45 p.m. While the manager and another employee handed over the money, a third employee says he exited the restaurant through the back and noticed that there was a car with the engine running in the parking lot, according to News 10/KXTV. The employee figured the vehicle was the suspects' getaway car, so he drove it around the corner and hid it, CBS 13 reported. When the two men ran out of the Burger King, they found their car was gone and attempted to flee to a nearby field, but cops quickly caught up to them. When they were all tired out from running, they were arrested and taken to the San Joaquin County Jail. All the robbed money was recovered by police. Tech Support Pits From: Mellie Re: Pictures too big Dear Webby when I take pictures with my digital point and shoot, or my Galaxy SII cameraphone, they're always one to two megs in size. How can I reduce the file size to a reasonable level? I don't have Photoshop, I have Photo Filtre. Thanks for all your help. Mellie Dear Mellie You don't need Photoshop or Paint Shop Pro or any of those big programs. Just about any graphics program lets you resize pictures. Straight off the camera they are usually 1600 x 1200 or bigger. The pictures you see in the humor letter are 600 x 480, a size, that is comfortable in emails. Most likely your "Photo Filtre" will let you resize the pictures. Save the resized picture with a descriptive name, and try not to overwrite the original. That way you can always make other, good quality, clones of it. If "Photo Filtre" can't do resizing, let me know, and I will find you a free program, that does. Have FUN! DearWebby It workded!! Yeaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for the help! mellie
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Chrome Mirrored Trays For Bathroom Bottles Yes, all those bottles! I still use one of the old chrome and metal mirrored bottom trays with chrome pipe sides. They are easy to clean and all the bottles, tubes and such are contained in a small area. I think you can still buy the trays at bath stores and I have seen them at resale shops, too. You can spray paint to match your taste. By Shelly from Florida Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Have I got a deal for you! Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97! What's Aquaponics? It's top secret technology some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two to ten times the crop per square foot? Yes, it sure is! It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that clean that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish. Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal! You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs. If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab Aquaponics, while it is on sale! AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books! By the way, there is NO WEEDING necessary with Aquaponics!

>From Susan During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying---until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking if he was awake."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Alex One night at about 3am my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bath- room.
Yarn Bombs

Today, May 29, in
1453 Constantinople fell to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, 
 ending the Byzantine (Eastern half of Roman) Empire.
1660 Charles II was restored to the English throne 
 after the Puritan Commonwealth.
1765 Patrick Henry denounced the Stamp Act before 
 Virginia's House of Burgesses.
1849 A patent for lifting vessels was granted to Abe  Lincoln.
1910 An airplane raced a train from Albany, NY, to New York City.
 The airplane pilot Glenn Curtiss won the $10,000 prize.
1911 The first running of the Indianapolis 500 took place.
1912 Fifteen women were dismissed from their jobs at the 
 Curtis Publishing Company in Philadelphia, PA, for 
 dancing the Turkey Trot while on the job.
1916 U.S. forces invaded Dominican Republic and remained 
 until 1924.
1922 Ecuador became independent.
1932 World War I veterans began arriving in Washington, DC. 
 to demand cash bonuses they were not scheduled to receive 
 for another 13 years.
1951 C.F. Blair became the first man to fly over the 
 North Pole in single engine plane.
1953 Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay became 
 first men to reach the top of Mount Everest and live.
1985 Thirty-nine people were killed and 400 were injured 
 in a riot at a European Cup soccer match in Brussels, Belgium.
1986 Colonel Oliver North told National Security Advisor 
 William McFarlane that profits from weapons sold to 
 Iran were being diverted to the Contras.
1988 U.S. President Reagan began his first visit to the 
 Soviet Union in Moscow.
1999 Space shuttle Discovery completed the first 
 docking with the International Space Station.
2000 Fiji's military took control of the nation and 
 declared martial law following a coup attempt by 
 indigenous Fijians in mid-May.
2001 In New York, four followers of Osama bin Laden 
 were convicted of a global conspiracy to murder Americans. 
 The crimes included the 1998 bombings of two U.S. 
 embassies in Africa that killed 224 people.
2001 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer 
 Casey Martin could use a cart to ride in tournaments.
2013  smiled

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