Is there a quiet and washable keyboard? 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, May 30.

Had to go to the bank, 20 miles away, so of course I took
the car. While in the bank, some bozo backed into it and
crunched some plastic. A pretty lady watched him do it, 
get out and inspect the damage, and take off. 
She got the licence plate number. A Govt pick-up truck.

I did not look at the front of the car, when I came out 
of the bank, and took off, while that lady was busy scribbling
a note. So she chased me to the grocery store at the other 
end of town, and gave me the info, which I gave to the cops
later on. Now I'll have to get some estimates. 
Plastic for a 1991 Chrysler LeBaron is probably getting 
rather scarce, and could be expensive.

Have FUN!

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Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source. --- Ron Nesen Don't fight a problem, solve it! --- Millard Fuller
A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units. One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours. When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note: "Have bled to death and gone to McDonalds to refill."
Hardware Diagnostics If you are not sure, that the problem is messed up software, get the Microscope V16 Software Hardware Diagnostics With Over 250 Proprietary Functions. That's what the Pro's use to quickly determine what needs to be replaced or upgraded.

At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did, sir." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap- ped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a miserable klutz, he couldn't do this to save his life!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Luis Briones, 25, Albuquerque, NM He drove drunk while having sex, crashed, hid behind cactus Thanks to Dianne for sending this in: Reported by The Calgary TV News A New Mexico man faces multiple charges after police say he was having sex with a woman while driving drunk and crashed, ejecting the woman from the vehicle. The Albuquerque Journal reports 25-year-old Luis Briones was found with one shoe on and his shorts on inside-out Monday night after he wrecked his Ford Explorer in Albuquerque. Police say Briones' female passenger was found naked outside the sport utility vehicle after being ejected. She had deep cuts to her face and head. Authorities allege Briones tried to drive away after the crash and abandon his passenger, but a witness grabbed his keys from the ignition. He also allegedly tried to hide from responding officers behind a cactus. Briones is charged with aggravated driving while intoxicated, reckless driving and evading police. Tech Support Pits From: Veronica Re: quiet and washable keyboard Dear Webby I am a home care nurse and spend a large part of my time "just being there" with terminally ill patients. I know some of them are overly sensitive or just want to complain about something, but the noise from my laptop when I write my reports or whatever, caused a few complaints. Is there a really quiet keyboard that I could use? Janice Dear Janice Yes, there sure is! The flexible Indestructible keyboard is totally quiet, and you can safely disinfect or wash it without worrying about damaging it. They are full size 52 cm (20") keyboards, but you can roll them up to fit into a purse, or for cleaning, to fit into even the smallest sink or disinfectant basin. You can see them at Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Safe and Effective Mosquito Repellent A safe mosquito repellant is 2 ounces of water and 2 ounces of pure vanilla extract. Put in a spray bottle. They "hate" the smell. Make sure you use pure vanilla extract and not imitation vanilla extract. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Have I got a deal for you! Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97! What's Aquaponics? It's top secret technology some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two to ten times the crop per square foot? Yes, it sure is! It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that clean that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish. Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal! You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs. If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab Aquaponics, while it is on sale! AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books! NO WEEDING with Aquaponics!

David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On Saturday night she returned home very late from a party. The next morning her father went out to the driveway to get the newspaper and came back into the house frowning. At 11:30am the girl sleepily walked into the kitchen, and her father asked her, "Sarah, what time did you get in last night?" "Not too late, Dad." she replied nervously. Dead-panned, her father said, "Then I'll have to talk with the paperboy about putting my paper under the front tire of the car."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A father from Eastern Europe is visiting his son in America for the very first time. They are at the local supermarket going up and down the aisles. Dad: "Vas diss, powdered orange juice?" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh orange juice!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "Und vas dis, powdered milk?" Son: "Yeah, Dad. You just add a little water, and you have fresh milk!" A few minutes later, in a different aisle the father says: "Und give look here. Baby Powder! Vat a country! Dey take da fun outta making everyting!"
Rain Forest Creatures

Today, May 29, in
1416 Jerome of Prague was burned as a heretic by the Church.
1431 Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in Rouen, France, 
 at the age of 19.
1527 The University of Marburg was founded in Germany.
1539 Hernando de Soto, the Spanish explorer, landed in Florida 
 with 600 soldiers to search for gold.
1814 The First Treaty of Paris was declared, which returned 
 France to its 1792 borders.
1848 W.G. Young patented the ice cream freezer.
1883 Twelve people were trampled to death in New York City 
 in a stampede due to a rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge was in 
 danger of collapsing.
1889 The brassiere was invented.
1896 The first automobile accident occurred in New York City.
1911 Ray Harroun won the first Indianapolis Sweepstakes. 
 The 500-mile auto race later became known as the 
 Indianapolis 500. Harroun's average speed was 74.59 miles 
 per hour.
1912 The U.S. Marines were sent to Nicaragua to protect 
 American interests.
1921 The U.S. Navy transferred the Teapot Dome oil reserves 
 to the Department of the Interior.
1943 American forces secured the Aleutian island of Attu 
 from the Japanese during World War II.
1967 Daredevil Evel Knievel jumped 16 automobiles in a row 
 in a motorcycle stunt at Ascot Speedway in Gardena, CA.
1971 Mariner 9, the American deep space probe blasted off 
 on a journey to Mars.
1982 Spain became the 16th NATO member. Spain was the first 
 country to enter the Western alliance since West Germany in 1955.
1989 The "Goddess of Democracy" statue (33 feet height) was 
 erected in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators.
2003 Peter Jennings was sworn in as a U.S. citizen
2013  smiled

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