Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, June 2

Thank you Dr Bill!

Thank you Jeris!

Saturday we had our annual parade.
They marshalled on the other side of the soccer field, and 
a bunch of bands tuned up on the soccer field. This was the
view from the office window:


More pictures of the parade further down.

The Saskatoon bushes are in full bloom now:




It was a bit too windy for bees, but the blooms usually stay
lit until they have been found by bees. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




"My father says, 'Marry a girl who has the same belief as   
the family.' I said, 'Dad, why would I marry a girl who   
thinks I'm a schmuck?'" 
---Adam Sandler 

People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.
--- Lee Iacocca


Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and   
baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father   
stork is trying to calm him.   

"Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only   
bringing people babies and making them happy."   

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother   
and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying.   

The mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as   
soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies   
and daddies."   

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their   
son is absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn,   
he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all   
night.   

The baby stork says, "Aw, Nowhere. Just scaring the heck   
out of college students!"   
  

Hardware Diagnostics
If you are not sure, that the problem is messed up software,
get the Microscope V16 Software Hardware Diagnostics
With Over 250 Proprietary Functions. 
That's what the Pro's use to quickly determine what
needs to be replaced or upgraded.


A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the   
letter "R" and all the other kids were, of course, teasing   
him about it.   

To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice   
at home: "Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting   
the rabbit so rare."  In class a few days later, the teacher   
asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.   

The boy nervously eyed his classmates - many of them already   
laughing at him - then replied, "Bob gave Dick a poke in the   
side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough."   



Click on the picture for the large version
Catherine Morneau, a Princess from the Calgary Stampede, 
the Cowboy world's equivalent of Miss Universe


Jim from the Hellshalfacres.com Turner Valley Oilfield Society, 
a long time hosting customer.


Our prime minister's wife usually rides in our parade. 
I think she was in this bunch, or one like it. She was born 
here and just fits in comfortably, no big fuss.


These guys mean business. Cowboys don't like cattle rustlers.
Unlike Obama's Marine honor guards, who have to take the 
bolts out of their guns, so that they can't shoot him, these
cowboys are fully armed. And you can bet they also have some
fairly long barreled revolvers within easy reach. 
They are not in the parade for security, just to show off
how well prepared they are to deal with rustlers on the range.
However, if somebody did try something improper, they got
enough ammo to deal with any emergency. And one even 
carried a sabre!


Quite the opposite were the Mini Horses. Kids go nuts
over them, and they get excellent hay mileage.


Mini donkeys


Politician in nicely polished antique car. 

I hope you enjoyed watching some highlights of the hour long parade.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Megan Garland,28, Milwaukee, WI

Teacher - Caught Having Sex With Student 
In School Parking Lot

Reported by The Smoking Gun
Megan Garland, a 28-year-old science teacher at Messmer 
High School, was jailed after she was allegedly caught 
having sex with a 14-year-old student outside a school 
event at another high school.

According to police, an adult attending a school event at 
Destiny High School in north Milwaukee became suspicious 
after noticing a car in the parking lot with fogged up 
windows.

The adult opened the car door and found Garland inside the 
vehicle performing a sex act on a 14-year-old student.

Garland and the teen were detained at the scene until police 
arrived, however, Garland cut herself in a failed attempt of 
suicide after her activity with the teen was discovered.

Garland was taken to a local hospital for treatment and then 
charged with second-degree sex assault of a child under the 
age of 16.

During the investigation, police learned of a second potential 
victim that Garland may have had sexual contact with. 
Charges have not yet been filed in that case.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Bill
Re: Get rid of Zone Alarm search

Dear Webby,
I downloaded an update for Shockwave and Foxit Reader two 
days ago. Since then, when I open Firefox, I get a 
http://search.zonealarm.com/ page. In my options, I have 
set "open with blank page". My "home page" is also blank.

How can I get rid of http://search.zonealarm.com/?
Thanks.
Bill

Hi Bill
Your machine seems to be infected with ZoneAlarm.
From what I read while searching for an easy solution for you, 
some people have, once upon a time, long, long ago, signed up 
for a free version of Zone Alarm, and totally forgot, that 
they elbowed the AGREE, without reading the 27 pages of 
small print.
Apparently somewhere in there, they agreed to automatic 
updates. ZoneAlarm used that back-door to sneak in that 
crappy nuisance.

Most likely the same happened with you.
Well, a lot of people got conned into it, and there is good 
info on the net for getting rid of that infection.
Here is one:

Totally uninstall Zone Alarm (the Windows FireWall does
everything nowadays, that Zone Alarm once promised):
If you don't have the Secure Uninstaller 
you can use the Revo Uninstaller.
Download and run the free version of Revo Uninstaller.
It is at http://www.revouninstaller.com/revo_uni ... nload.html

Select Zone Alarm and click Uninstall.
Set it to 'Advanced' and click Scan.
Revo will do this:
Step 1. Create restore point.
Step 2. Run the official Zone Alarm uninstaller.
Step 3. When uninstaller finishes, click Scan in Revo 
and it will search for remnants (make sure it is set to 
Advanced). Delete everything found (Select All, Delete All).
Reboot if asked to. 

That will clean that uninvited nuisance off your machine. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use a Marble Inside Spray Bottles
When at the bottom of a spray bottle's contents and nothing 
comes out but foam, just drop in a marble. Every last bit 
of cleaner will be used up. Sometimes I drop in the marble 
when I first use the cleaner. It works every time.

By Janette

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $19 instead of the normal $97!

  

What's Aquaponics? It's top secret technology some pros use
to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the time and two 
to ten times the crop per square foot? 
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
clean that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

NO WEEDING with Aquaponics!


There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the
baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and
he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to
court. 

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer
replied, your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but
I do have a scale." 

The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" 

The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying
butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every
day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him
the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

------------------------
At one time bakers were hanged, if they sold underweight 
bread. A dozen rolls were supposed to weigh a pound. Since
they traditionally sold underweight, they tossed in an extra
roll, when they suspected, that the customer had a scale.
Ever since then, 13 has been called a "Baker's Dozen". 





Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

Here is a real classic:
 After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant
 user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my 
 computer.

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply.

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup 
files.

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. 
You need to replace it.

Customer: No way! Someone told me that I just had to change 
the system startup files to fix the problem! All I need is 
for you to tell me the right command.

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's 
efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the customer 
adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, 
the technician responded:

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers 
this, but there's an undocumented command that should fix 
the problem.

Customer: I knew it!

Technician: Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.COM' at the end of
the autoexec.nt  file and everything should work fine. 
Let me know how it goes.

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call 
back from the customer.

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still 
smoking.

Technician: Well, what version of Windows are you using?

Customer: Windows NT

Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version 
of Windows doesn't  include NOSMOKE. You'll need to 
contact Microsoft and ask them for a  patch. Let me 
know how it all works out.

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again.

Customer: I need a new power supply.

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician
what you said,  and he started asking me questions about
the make of the power supply.

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with
NOSMOKE.



» Rare Clouds




Today, June 2, in
1537 Pope Paul III banned the enslavement of Indians.
1774 The Quartering Act, which required American colonists 
to allow British soldiers into their houses, was reenacted.
1793 Maximillian Robespierre initiated the "Reign of Terror". 
 It was an effort to purge those suspected of treason 
 against the French Republic.
1851 Maine became the first U.S. state to enact a law 
 prohibiting alcohol.
1883 The first baseball game under electric lights was 
 played in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
1896 Guglieimo Marconi's radio was patented in the U.S.
1897 Mark Twain, at age 61, was quoted by the New York 
 Journal as saying "the report of my death was an 
 exaggeration." He was responding to the rumors that 
 he had died.
1924 All American Indians were granted U.S. citizenship 
 by the U.S. Congress.
1928 Nationalist Chiang Kai-shek captured Peking, China.
1933 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt accepted the 
first swimming pool to be built inside the White House.
1946 Italians voted by referendum to form a republic 
 instead of a monarchy.
1953 Elizabeth was crowned queen of England at 
 Westminster Abbey.
1954 U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy charged that there 
 were communists working in the CIA and atomic weapons plants.
1966 Surveyor 1, the U.S. space probe, landed on the moon and 
 started sending photographs back to Earth of the Moon's 
 surface. It was the first soft landing on the Moon.
1969 Australian aircraft carrier Melbourne sliced the 
 destroyer USS Frank E. Evans in half off the shore of 
 South Vietnam.
1979 Pope John Paul II arrived in his native Poland on 
 the first visit by a pope to a Communist country.
1995 Captain Scott F. O'Grady's U.S. Air Force F-16C 
 was shot down by Bosnian Serbs. He was rescued six days later.
1998 Royal Caribbean Cruises agreed to pay $9 million to settle 
 charges of dumping waste at sea.
1998 Voters in California passed Proposition 227. The act 
 abolished the state's 30-year-old bilingual education program 
 by requiring that all children be taught in English.
2003 In Seville, Spain, a chest containing the supposed remains 
 of Christopher Columbus were exhumed for DNA tests to determine 
 whether the bones were really those of the explorer. The tests 
 were aimed at determining if Colombus was currently buried in 
 Spain's Seville Cathedral or in Santo Domingo in the Dominican 
 Republic.
2013  smiled