Control super sensitive mouse 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, June 14.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Your wheels: Moe's Beer Wagon.
Thanks Moe! Is that your wife in the left front wheel? Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --- Carl Jung "Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you." --- Winston Churchill It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese. --- Carl Sagan Yes, and dolphins are pretty good at training humans to throw pre-killed and cooled fish at them!
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the electricity was cut off this morning...."
A kindergarten teacher is walking around her classroom observing her students while they draw. One little girl is working especially diligently, so the teacher asks what she is working on. "I'm drawing God," the child says. The teacher pauses, then says, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat or looking up from her drawing, the girl replies, "They will in a minute."
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Thanks to Phil in Salisbury, England Join in the new game that's sweeping the country. It's called "Bureaucracy." Everybody stands in a circle. The first person to do anything loses.
Thanks to Jim for sending these pictures: Click on the picture for the large version Jim's Night-Blooming Cereus Click on the picture for the large version Jim's Night-Blooming Cereus These Night Blooming Cereus blossoms last one night, then they turn into those reddish seed pods.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittany Cole, 22, Altheimer, Arkansas Jailed After Tossing 9-Month-Old Baby Into Dumpster Reported by The Weekly Vice Brittany Cole, a 22-year-old Arkansas Woman, was jailed Sunday after she allegedly tossed her 9-month-old baby into a dumpster and then told relatives that she was tired of caring for the child. According to police, officers were dispatched to an Altheimer residence after receiving a report that a baby's mother had thrown him into a dumpster. When officers arrived on the scene, the child had already been retrieved out of the dumpster by the child's grandmother who called police. Investigators say Cole became angry earlier that evening shortly after her son was returned to her home after spending time with his father. In retaliation, Cole grabbed her son, left the residence and tossed him into a garbage dumpster. The baby's grandmother noticed that the child was missing and asked Cole about the baby's whereabouts. That's when Cole reportedly pointed in the direction of the dumpster and stated that she was tired of caring for the baby. The child's grandmother retrieved the child from the dumpster and called 911. Cole was booked into jail and charged with first-degree endangering the welfare of a minor. Prosecutors may upgrade the charge to attempted capital murder. The baby and his two siblings have been taken into protective custody. Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Supersensitive mouse Dear Webby I replaced my original mouse that came with my Gateway a thousand years ago. The new one is a Logitech Optical Mouse and if I even look at it crossways, I get popup menus all over the place. Needless to say, this is extremely annoying. Do I have to live with it or do you have another miracle solution? Jerry Dear Jerry Run the install CD that came with that mouse. That will give you a desktop icon to it's settings menu. There you can tweak all the settings to suit you. You can assign the different buttons to different tasks like copy and paste, instead of popping help info. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Sawdust to Fill Holes in Wood Save that sawdust! Just mix Elmer's glue and sawdust to fill any hole or gouge in wood. Let dry and sand, then stain or paint. Source: My husband Sandig dust works even better. You can usually harvest some from a back corner, and make a thick paste. Tamp that hard into the hole or scratch, so that it portrudes just a bit. It WILL shrink! Then you can later sand it flat, but don't be in any hurry with that! It won't stop shrinking for a day! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at

A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him. The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis." Blushed, the secretary stepped back and told him to type it in, and re-type it again. The whole office heard the secretary bursting out laughing, as a reaction from the computer's quite predictable response: "Password rejected. Reason: Too short"
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A doctor examines a female patient. Afterward, he takes her husband aside. "I donít want to alarm you," the doctor says, "but I don't like the way your wife looks." "Me neither, Doc," says the husband. "But she's a great cook and real good with the kids."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There were two good ol' boys from the South, who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're gonna need an ice pick." So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're gonna need another dozen ice picks." Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left. In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're gonna need all the ice picks you've got." The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?" "Not very well at all," he said. "We ain't even got the boat in the water yet." "Well, replied the bait man, "at this time of year, if you drive a heavy enough SUV onto the ice, you'll get a hole big enough for your boat."
» Basalt Shapes

Today, June 14, in
1789 Captain William Bligh of the HMS Bounty arrived in 
 Timor in a small boat.
1834 Cyrus Hall McCormick received a patent for his 
 reaping machine.
1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. patented sandpaper.
1841 The first Canadian parliament opened in Kingston.
1846 A group of U.S. settlers in Sonoma proclaimed the 
 Republic of California.
1893 Philadelphia observed the first Flag Day.
1900 Hawaii became a U.S. territory.
1907 Women in Norway won the right to vote.
1917 General John Pershing arrived in Paris during World War I.
1919 The first non-stop trans-Atlantic flight began. 
 Captain John Alcot and Lt. Arthur Brown flew from 
 Newfoundland to Ireland.
1927 Nicaraguan President Adolfo Diaz signed a treaty with 
 the U.S. allowing American intervention in his country.
1940 The Nazis opened their concentration camp at Auschwitz 
 in German-occupied Poland.
1940 German troops entered Paris. As Paris became occupied 
 loud speakers announced the implementation of a curfew 
 being imposed for 8 p.m.
1943 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that schoolchildren could 
 not be made to salute the U.S. flag if doing so conflicted 
 with their religious beliefs.
1944 Sixty U.S. B-29 Superfortress' attacked an iron and 
 steel works factory on Honshu Island. It was the first 
 major U.S. raid against Japan.
1945 Burma was liberated by Britain.
1949 The state of Vietnam was formed.
1951 "Univac I" was unveiled. It was a computer designed 
 for the U.S. Census Bureau and billed as the world's 
 first commercial computer.
1952 The Nautilus was dedicated. It was the first nuclear 
 powered submarine.
1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed an order 
 adding the words "under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance.
1965 A military triumvirate took control in Saigon.
1967 Mariner 5 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL. The space 
 probe's flight took it past Venus.
1982 Argentine forces surrendered to British troops on the 
 Falkland Islands.
1989 Former U.S. President Reagan received an honorary 
 knighthood from Britain's Queen Elizabeth II.
1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld police checkpoints that 
 are used to examine drivers for signs of intoxication.
2013  smiled

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