Weird symbols due to Windows Live and Microsoft WORD 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, June 16.

Your wheels: Our little "cube" have it 2 years and still get lots of attention, mostly in parking lots-question asked "is it combfortable?" answer "yes", "do you get good mileage?" answer "yes". Also lots of storage room, bigger on the inside then it looks. Mary
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
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America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. --- Jay Leno Only in America...could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all. --- Moe
Liz and Tina were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod. "I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Liz. "Do what?" asked Tina. "Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Grow Your Greatest Garden Ever in Do-It-Yourself Built Waist High Raised Beds! It's really easy, when you got detailled instructions. You even get videos to show how easy it is! With the GardenRack style there is no more bending down. No more kneeling! Everything is at the height, that is the most comfortable for YOU! No special skills or tools required. Give the lumber list to Home Depot, and they will cut and deliver it. Half an afternoon of screwing around with a drill used as a power screwdriver, and it is done. The second one will take less than half an hour. Get the GardenRack now!

A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from her garden: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patrick Stapleton, 22, Lothian, marlyland Jailed After Mistaking Handgun For BB Gun, Shooting Friend In Butt Reported by The Weekly Vice Patrick Stapleton, a 22-year-old Maryland bonehead, was jailed Wednesday after his idea of a prank went painfully wrong. According to Lothian Police, Stapleton was over at a friend's home at about 4 a.m. Wednesday morning when he had the ill-conceived idea of shooting his passed out friend in the butt with a BB gun. Investigators say Stapleton grabbed a .40 caliber handgun, which he believed was a BB gun, and fired one round into his 21-year-old friend's buttocks. The owner of the home was not present during the shooting and the hand gun belonged to the homeowner's son, who was not involved in the shooting. The victim was transported to Prince George's Hospital Center where he is being treated for his injury. Stapleton was booked into jail and charged with second-degree assault and reckless endangerment. Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Weird symbols Hi Webby, those funny symbols really bug me! I know I didn’t type it in like that, so why does it change to that, just in some places? It seems to hit the ‘s spot!?? I think there is a setting somewhere for it but sure can’t find it now! Can you please help an old lady? Thanks, TC, Betty Dear Betty You are talking about Microslop. Microsoft Windows Live Mail is added to Microsoft WORD in the same fashion as a Hillbilly tacks the fifth extension onto his shack. An extra bed, but you still have to use the same old free-fall crapper. Microsoft WORD was written for printing, and it has done a great job since the mid 80's. In those days, some faggy yuppie decided that it would be cute to use left and right leaning quotes and apostrophes, to set WORD apart from WordStar and WordPerfect. Well, those left and right leaning quotes and apostrophes are not on a regular keyboard, but Microsoft PRINTER drivers have been told how to interpret them. So, as long as you PRINT from WORD, everything is fine. The problem starts when you go outside, into the big, wide world. When the Internet and email came along, Microsoft quickly added an email program, Outlook Express, that also could understand and use the weird quotes and apostrophes. However, they messed up, and mis-interpreted the regular quotes, the ones you use for example, when you talk about the early 90's, when they committed THAT screw-up and carved it into stone. That is the old free-fall crapper in the Hillbilly shack with the half dozen extensions. Everything they did since then has that screw-up built in, including your Microsoft Windows Live Mail. Yep, same old free-fall crapper. The resultant crap is commonly referred to as Microslop. Microsoft is still VERY defensive about that, and says that if the whole world would use Microsoft Windows Live Mail (or Outlook or Hoe Mail), then they would not notice the Microslop. Well, the whole world does NOT use those programs. There IS a secret trick to turn the Microslop off. On the Tools menu, click AutoCorrect Options, and then click the AutoFormat As You Type tab. Under Replace as you type, select or clear the "Straight quotes" with "smart quotes" check box. Depending on the program you use, they call the Microslop "Curly Quotes" or "Smart Quotes". You might be able to hunt down more information in the HELP by searching for those terms. Once you have the "Curly Quotes" turned off, your mail recipients will stop snickering behind your back. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Vinegar For Microwave Cleaning Put water in a large cup with 2 tsp. of vinegar. Put it in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes, then let sit for 10 minutes. Wipe out. It's easy to clean and sweet smelling! By jobaby2543 My 30-odd year old Kenmore takes "nuking" seriously and tends to explode and throw food. I use a wide putty knife to get all the solids firs and screape them into a dust pan. Then I put a saucer half filled with water into it and add some vinegar. 3 minutes of nuking vaporizes most of it, five minutes steeping softens whatever is left. After that I use one of those yellow & green sponges to wipe it out. Make sure you get the sponges, that have natural looking holes ith varying and uneven size, not the foam rubber type. That makes a HUGE difference. You can, of course, also use a big shower sponge. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? For pete sakes, get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
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A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick asked, "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "Aye...that he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord...didn't you have anything in YOUR hand?" "Aye, that I did," Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but that particular part of Mrs. Riley is not much use in a fight!"
Worst Parents

Today, June 16, in
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. That gave the Vandals
 a bad name.
1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke.
1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven 
 Castle in Scotland.
1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny, 
1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller 
 coaster in America opened.
1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated.
1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg.
1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first helicopter 
 flight in the US at College Park, MD.
1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact.
1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on 
 President Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was 
 suppressed by the army.
1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit 
 aboard the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was 
 the first female space traveler.
1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted 
 against the South African government's plan to enforce 
 Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black schools.
2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex 
2013  smiled

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