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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 1.
Happy Canada Day!

Have FUN!

Your wheels: Thanks to Tess for this picture: Oh, I loved this car. Wish I hadn't sold it, but I got a call the other day from the 4th owner, who says it is still wonderful and filled me in on some of the work he's doing on it. It was bought in Texas, lived in Virginia and (I think) Ohio, and is now in the Colorado Rockies. Tess
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. ---Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. --- George Burns
Tracy goes to get her haircut. The stylist cuts for about 30 minutes, then hands the girl a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?" Tracy looks at the cut carefully, evaluating it from every angle. Finally, she says, "It's okay, but could you make it just a little longer in the back?"
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A married couple, trying to live up to a snobbish life-style went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!" The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the number five bus going to Coney Island." There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get our of here." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally, his wife turned to him and said, "You're angry about something." "Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the number five bus to Coney Island? How could you say that? Everyone knows the number five bus doesn't go to Coney Island !"
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Going to Church
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Karen Vaughan, Cook County,Illinois Claiming that Pensioners picking dandylions are commiting a CRIME Reported by Walter, the StoneCarver Karen Vaughan, spokeswoman for the Cook County Forest Preserve District, said foraging is prohibited. About a pensioner picking a shopping bag full of dandylion leaves from amongst the weeds in an unmowed triangle behind a fence: "It's unsustainable," she said. "Quite simply, we could see some of these plants disappear over time. It can also have negative impacts on the natural plant and animal communities we're trying to preserve for the public." You'd think the district's yearly budget of almost $200 million would be better spent on catching the body dumpers and the weirdos rather than harassing a few old people holding fast to old ways. Europeans, esppecially Greeks, Italians and Spaniards, have always used dadndylion leaves for food, and rarely bought them in the store. They usually send the kids to the nearest lawn and delight the owner of that lawn by picking what he considers a nuisance weed. With so much crime in the Chicago area, from murderous gangbangers to those thug mobs and everything in between, the Cook County Gestapo is now focusing on easier targets: Senior Citizen Dandylion Pickers. One example is John Taris, 75, retired tailor and notoriosus dandylion picker. He was find $75 and now has a criminal record. And Karen Vaughan claims publicly, that "foraging" is a serious crime and has to be eradicated. Amazing, that is what your taxes pay for! I got dandylions in my lawn. If anybody wants them, pick them! I have rhubarb too. It is delicious with a bit of honey. Go ahead and pick some! Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Alternative to the obnoxious Yahoo Home Page Dear Webby, I have been using yahoo for years for a home page, but I am really getting sick of their editorial policy - is there someplace else that I could use that's not as obnoxious? - but is also easy to use - Bill Dear Bill My home page started out as an alternative to home pages like that. That was in the early 90's. Just go to http://webby.com/humor and make that your default home page. On the riht side, a the top of the side menu, is a Google search field. It will not secretly change to some other search engine. Below that are handy links. If there are any sites, that you often go to, that should be listed on the side menu, just tell me. It works just fine as a home page, especially when you want to back out of something nasty. Just hit HOME, and you are back on the familiar Humor letter. And unlike the socialist yahoos at Yahoo, I listen to people, and if you suggest a link, I will add it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Antacids For Muscle Cramps This tip was given to me by my daughter and has worked very well for me as I had been getting a great deal of cramps in my hands. It is very simple, chew 2 Tums, or any antacid that is taken for an acid reflux or upset tum ;) By lesley Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
During a jury selection process, the first lawyer began his questioning as an intimidating showman. He looked over the prospective jurors and asked, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge said, "I do."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A butcher, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision... "You know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"
The Canadian Myth

Today, July 1, in

0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a 
 Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions.
1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich.
1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard 
 of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked 
 Cadiz, Spain.
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt.
1847 The U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps.
1867 Canada became an independent dominion.
1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks.
1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made 
 out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA.
1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on 
 San Juan Hill in Cuba.
1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his 
 new "A" type alkaline storage batteries.
1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the 
 Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks.
1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened 
 to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on 
 November 7, 1940.
1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the 
 Soviet Union.
1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding 
 federal income tax from paychecks.
1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near 
 Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem 
 the tide of the advancing North Korean army.
1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats.
1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60 countries. 
1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of Wales.
1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon the death 
 of her husband, Juan.
1979 Sony introduced the Walkman.
1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada.
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved.
1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization 
 visited the Gaza Strip.
1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from 
 Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong 
 as a colony for 156 years.
2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show 
 their opposition to anti-subversion legislation.
2013  smiled

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