Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 5.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you Steve
Thank you Gloria!!

Have FUN!

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In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering
There was a beer party out in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the passenger side screamed out, "Ahhhhhhh! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" The old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So, the passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "Do you have any cigarettes?" The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants a cigarette." "Well, give him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells to the driver, "Step on it!!!", rolling up the window in terror. Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you think of that?" The driver replies, "I don't know. How could that be? I am going pretty fast." Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!" the passenger yells. "Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver. He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks. The driver throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking! "OH MY GOD! HE'S BACK!" The passenger rolls down the window and screams in stark fear, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The old man replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
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We are now seeing a new, redesigned $20 bill. This is part of an anti-counterfeiting program to redesign all of our old currency, which has become too easy to duplicate with modern color photocopiers- a fact that was made all too clear when Xerox, in its 2012 annual report, reported profits of "$850 Billion, mostly in $20's".
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kimberly Kieman, 39, Springboro, Ohio Jailed After Throwing Beer Bash For 26 Teenagers, Locking 7-Year-Old Son In Bathroom Reported by the Weekly Vice Kimberly Kieman, a 39-year-old Florida mom, has been jailed after she allegedly hosted an alcohol fueled party for 26 teenagers while her 7-year-old son was locked in the bathroom. According to police, officers were dispatched to a Palm Beach Shores apartment complex Monday night after receiving a complaint about a large group of teenagers at the complex that appeared to be fighting. Neighbors also told police that Kieman had a young son and they were concerned about the boy's welfare. When officers arrived on the scene, the teens all ran inside an apartment where a party seemed to be in progress. When officers knocked on the door of the apartment, partygoers yelled back obscenities and told the officers to go away. About 20 minutes later, an intoxicated Kimberly Kieman opened the door. Investigators say Kieman was so intoxicated that she "couldn't stand without leaning against the door." Officers asked for permission to enter the apartment to check on the welfare of Kieman's son, however Kieman refused the request and hid behind partygoers, who slammed the door shut in the officers' faces. The teen partygoers then barricaded themselves against the door and stated that they intended to "stand their ground" against the entire police force if they tried to enter. The teens then slid a note under the door that contained "a written notice of demands," according to the arrest report. Police eventually broke down the door and arrested 26 teenagers who attended the party. Officers found Kieman's 7-year-old son locked in a bathroom at the residence, while Kieman was discovered hiding under a pile of dirty laundry. A 16-year-old girl was found in a hallway choking on her own vomit. She was taken to St. Mary's Medical Center for treatment. Two 55-gallon trash containers were found on the front porch filled with ice and various alcoholic beverages. Kieman was booked into jail and charged with child endangerment. -------------- With 27 people and that much alcohol, that bathroom must have been a very busy place! Tech Support Pits From: Maria Re: HTML from MS WORD Dear Webby I write my web pages by saving MS WORD docs as HTML. Usually that works OK. When it didn't, I asked my ISP to look at it and fix it. He got quite rude about it and was of no help. Can you fix it for me? Maria Dear Maria No, I won't, but I'll try not to get rude about it. The HTML produced by WORD does sorta work, but it is definitely not suitable for quick fixes or updating. The code looks awful and any fixes are very time consuming, especially when compared to clean HTML. Your best bet is to just write a new doc and convert that, or use a proper HTML editor to write your pages. I doubt that you will find any volunteer to fix that page for free, or even for pay. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Wet Wipes for a Cookout Cool Down At a cookout, picnic, or other hot weather gathering, toss a package of wet wipes in the cooler with the ice and drinks (I bought a plastic pop-up dispenser for a dollar). When the temps are in the 90's, it feels WONDERFUL to wipe your face, hands, and neck with a chilled cloth! By Becki from Logansport, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
Several weeks after his birthday, I stopped by my sister's house and my 7 year old nephew greeted me with, "Thanks for the Sea Scout Signal Whistle you gave me for my birthday ! It's the best birthday present I ever got." "That's great, Did you learn how to pipe any signals on it ?" "Oh, I don't play with it," the little guy said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to blow it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to blow it at night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Anni got a part time job in a local restaurant to pick up a little money. She was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them but a co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant. A nervous Anni served all the lunches successfully last Saturday utilizing every stand she could find. Afterward Anni was concerned about an elderly couple that had finished some time ago and paid their check, but remained sitting at the table. When Anni asked if everything had been all right, the man said quietly, " Yes, It was fine, dear, but my wife and I would like to leave now and we were wondering if she could please have her walker back?"
Relero's Sidewalk 3D Art:

Today, July 5, in
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt 
 to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina.
1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to 
 declare independence from Spain.
1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British 
 force at Chippewa, Canada.
1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers.

1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the 
 press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against 
 Austrian rule.
1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island 
 in China and then occupied it.
1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens.
1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine.
1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union.
1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the 
Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history.
1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in 
 Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit.
1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first 
 time at Osan, South Korea.
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented 
 the junction transistor.
1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule.
1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North 
 received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his 
 part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later 
1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with 
 the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars.
2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian 
 hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 
 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner.
2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister 
 Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and 
 lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 
2013  smiled

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