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Today is Saturday, July 6.


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The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. --- Henry Stimson (1867 - 1950) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to retire six over- aged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear your mother will be out of work."
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At an international conference, an American, a British and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses. "I can't stand it some time. We treat people for cancer, and then they die of AIDS." "I know what you mean." said the British. "We treat them for yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then, of course, they die." "That is not a problem in our country" said the Russian doctor. "When we treat people for a disease, they die of *that* disease."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Peggy Hill, 62, Bradenton, Floriduh Jailed On Felony Battery Charge After Kissing Cop On The Nose Reported by the Smoking Gun A Florida woman is jailed on a felony battery on a law enforcement officer charge after she allegedly kissed a cop on the nose. Peggy Hill, 62, was arrested late Saturday evening outside her Bradenton residence by Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies who had arrived at the home in response to a call about a dispute between Hill and a neighbor about a fence between their properties. As Hill was conversing with Sergeant Randy Lamb, “she approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will.” Lamb, an 18-year veteran, stepped away from Hill and “wiped off the saliva from his nose,” according to an arrest report. With the help of another deputy, Lamb took Hill to the ground and handcuffed her. In a post-arrest interview, Hill said that Lamb “was being aggressive towards her,” and that “the thought just popped in her head to kiss him on his nose, so she kissed him on his nose.” Hill told deputies that she had consumed “about 3 glasses of wine” before deputies arrived at her home. Pictured in the above mug shot, the retired Hill was booked into the county jail early Sunday for felony battery. She is being held in lieu of $5000 bond and is scheduled for a July 19 court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Alternate Home Page Dear Webby on this google page I can get to my email which is Gmail, now does that change? how will I get to my email? Ann. Dear Ann If it isn't, enable your FireFox Navigation Bar. Go to https://mail.google.com/mail/ Drag the little icon from the left of the address bar onto your Navigation bar. That's all there is to it. I have all my most visited sites on that Navigation bar. You can shuffle them around to have the most important ones on the left, or on the right, or in the middle. Just drag them. If you have Gmail in one corner of your Navigation bar, just hit that whenever you want Gmail. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pickle Jar Incense Burner I was on the patio and I wanted to burn some incense. I found this pickle jar and put the incense stick upside down in the pickle jar and fastened the wood part with a clothepin. It made a lot of smoke and looked nice, in addition to keeping the bugs away from me. I thought that was interesting that incense would do that. I would never leave it unattended, although this is a more pet safe way to burn incense than some of my incense holders I have in the house. By Anna S. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles and nods from time to time to show that he is interested. Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment. At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German, do you?" "No," the man says. "Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction and that the next stop is an hour from now."
» Pompous Toons

Today, July 6, in
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned.
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England.
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during 
 the American Revolution.
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine.
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. 
 The child used in the test later became the director of 
 the Pasteur Institute.
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question 
 was John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks.
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established.
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died.
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court.
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion.
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans 
 could not pay women smaller monthly payments solely 
 because of their gender.
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in 
 New York City due to medical waste and other debris 
 washing up on the seashores.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot 
 rover on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on 
 the red planet on July 4th.
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown.
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2013  smiled


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