Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 7




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Only the mediocre are always at their best.
--- Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944)

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.
--- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a 
revolutionary act.
--- George Orwell
 

A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf
that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner
of the calf and explained what had happened. He then
asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years
it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it
to the farmer.
"Here," he said, "is a check for $900. It's postdated six
years from now."
  

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Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel,
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and
talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had
enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See
those two big men standing by the door?  They're hushers."



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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 

Kevin Patrick Smith, Upper East Side, NY

Westie gang member busted by feds caught with 
to-do list with 'rob bank' written down

Reported by Karl
One New York bank robbery suspect was so well organized 
that cops found a to-do list with the words “rob bank” 
written on it in the crook’s Manhattan apartment after 
his arrest, sources said.

Fastidious felon Kevin Patrick Smith, a Westies gang 
associate who once did 10 years for bank robbery, was busted
yesterday outside his Upper East Side building as he headed 
out to rob a bank in New Paltz, the feds said.

The cash-strapped ex-con needed money to pay his legal bills 
and other debts, the FBI said.

Smith allegedly hired an unwitting livery cabby to drive him 
nearly 80 miles to the Ulster County town, where he planned 
to hit a Wells Fargo bank yesterday.

The conscientious con should have spent more time vetting 
his cronies than drawing up lists. Thanks to his accomplice 
— an FBI informant — Smith was arrested by an FBI SWAT 
team as he left his apartment at 8 a.m..

The unidentified livery driver, who was waiting nearby, was
questioned and released without charges.

Midtown-based GroundLink Car and Limo Service said the 
round trip to New Paltz would have cost $530, 
including tip.

According to court papers, Smith, 56, was planning to 
pick up the accomplice and a .44 Magnum handgun he had 
stashed in a Bronx storage facility before heading 
north to knock over the bank.

The accomplice secretly recorded Smith for the FBI as they 
plotted the heist, the Manhattan federal court complaint 
says.

Smith allegedly approached the unidentified snitch on 
Wednesday and recruited him for the holdup, saying he 
had a driver who would take them to the bank.

During a follow-up meeting the next day, Smith drew a 
map of the area and said he would bring the gun, as well 
as gloves, a ski mask and a bag for the loot, which 
the accomplice agreed to help him load in the trunk, 
according to the complaint.

“Smith explained that he needed cash to pay off debts, 
including money owed to his lawyer, credit cards and 
rent,” FBI Agent Michael Powers wrote in the complaint.

When Smith was nabbed, he was carrying a bag that was 
“partially hidden by a heavy winter coat,” and which 
contained a black T-shirt, three pairs of gloves and 
a key.

He was charged with one count of attempted bank robbery, 
which carries up to 25 years in prison.

The Westies were a feared Irish-American gang that ran 
violent extortion and loan-sharking rackets out of 
Manhattan’s Hell’s Kitchen before being broken up with the 
help of turncoat member Francis “Mickey” Featherstone 
in the late 1980s.

Last year, The Post revealed the gang was back in business 
under the leadership of John Bokun.

The link to  Mail Washer is here! 

Tech Support Pits
From: Chuck
Re: McAfee does not like XP-SP2 any more

Hi Webby,
I can't believe the notice I just received from McAfee. 
It said they no longer will support XP with service pack 2. 
Do you have any suggestion on how to keep my XP with a 
working anti virus?

Chuck

Dear Chuck
SP3 has been fixed and is quite OK now.
Just up your XP to SP3, and everything should be fine.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!






Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Clean Windows With Coffee Filters

Clean windows with coffee filters by saturating them with 
window cleaner, all purpose cleaner, or vinegar. They are 
durable and will not leave lint like a paper towels does. 
You can put in an airtight container and have ready to 
use wipes available at all times.

By lessisbest from Wilmington, MA 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as
they were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary to be quiet in church?"  

One bright little girl replied, 
"Because people are sleeping."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News



No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
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One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting
up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did
their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew,
but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked
the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on
his way out.  Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the
congregation, 
"Pray for me! Pray for me!"



» Critters Galore




Today, July 7, in
1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at 
 Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison.
1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the 
 Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri.
1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine.
1898 The United States annexed Hawaii.
1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for 
 the first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA.
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
 on the Colorado River.
1937 Japanese forces invaded China.
1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid 
 for South Korea.
1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to 
 a measure that made the French language equal to 
 English throughout the national government.
2011 The world's first artificial organ transplant was achieved. 
 It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. 
2013  smiled