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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 21.

OK, for all those who asked for a picture of me at the 
waterfall, not just some silly little tree, here is one
from shortly before I did my canyon edge dance.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself. Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated man; and without this all other education is good for nothing. --- R. D. Hitchcock Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) OK, OK, I AM walking every day for about an hour, and even taking Barb's family dog for a walk. (Barb lives a block away.)
>From Dave I wasn't surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged. "I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?" She replied, "Honesty."
>A real old Classic from Rex Don't Try This At Home! A formula for inner peace...please read completely: I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. On the show, Dr. Phil proclaimed: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kailua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
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Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version In a river in Slovakia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kimberly Womach, 34, New Port Richey, Floriduh Jailed After Driving Drunk To McDonalds, Demanding Free Big Macs Reported by The Weekly Vice Kimberly Womach, a 34-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Sunday morning when she allegedly pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru drunk and demanded a free breakfast. According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Womach pulled up to a McDonald's drive-thru at about 6 a.m. Sunday and demanded that they give her two free Big Macs because she was unsatisfied with a purchase she had received during a previous visit. When the staff informed her that they didn't have any Big Macs available because they were serving breakfast, Womach demanded two free Egg McMuffins instead. When employees informed Womach that she wouldn't be receiving a free breakfast and needed to leave, Womach parked her car in the drive-thru and refused to move. After ten minutes of arguing with Womach, store employees called authorities who arrived on the scene a few minutes later. Deputies noted a heavy smell of alcohol on Womach's breath as she informed them that her rights had been violated by the restaurant because they wouldn't meet her demands. After failing a field sobriety test, Womach was booked into jail and charged with driving under the influence. She was released later the same day after posting bond. Tech Support Pits From: Melody Re: No newsletter on Gmail Dear Webby It has been over a week since I have received your newspaper. Did I miss something? Dear Melody Your newsletter has been sent to you every night. Check your SPAM folder. You will probably have to make a filter to tell Gmail to NOT put the Humor Letter into SPAM. Just go into Settings, Filters. Once you find the spot, it is quite easy. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Face Paint with Oil You can remove face paint or other make up with olive oil or coconut oil. Put some oil on a cotton ball and rub on the face paint. Use another cotton ball to wipe up the excess paint. Finish by washing your face with soap and water. By Stella Bella Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Quebec Math Thibodeau wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Witout numbers?" Thibodeau says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says Thibodeau. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." Thibodeau stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." Thibodeau stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hunnerd." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" Thibodeau leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doggie came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hunnerd. So, when I start?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Summer Season
Summer Season

Today, July 22, in
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea 
 for the first time since being launched on October 21/1797
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New 
 York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying 
 at 250 feet.
1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal 
 to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
1943 American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured 
 Palermo, Sicily.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. 
 citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti 
 tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from 
 possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 were killed in a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported.
2004 The September 11 commission's final report was released. 
 The 575-page report concluded that hijackers exploited 
 "deep institutional failings within our government." 
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 
2013  smiled


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