Monday, July 22, 2013, 09:49 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, July 21.
OK, for all those who asked for a picture of me at the
waterfall, not just some silly little tree, here is one
from shortly before I did my canyon edge dance.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
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The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself.
Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated
man; and without this all other education is good for nothing.
--- R. D. Hitchcock
Walking is the best possible exercise.
Habituate yourself to walk very far.
--- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)
OK, OK, I AM walking every day for about an hour,
and even taking Barb's family dog for a walk.
(Barb lives a block away.)
>From Dave
I wasn't surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a
Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents,"
she begged.
"I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?"
She replied, "Honesty."
>A real old Classic from Rex
Don't Try This At Home!
A formula for inner peace...please read completely:
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked
for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By
following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show,
I have finally found inner peace. On the show, Dr. Phil
proclaimed:
"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you've started."
So I looked around my house to see all the things I started
and hadn't finished and before leaving the house this morning,
I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel,
a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kailua, a package of Oreos,
the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the
rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of
chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
Thanks to Clyde for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
In a river in Slovakia
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Kimberly Womach, 34, New Port Richey, Floriduh
Jailed After Driving Drunk To
McDonalds, Demanding Free Big Macs
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Kimberly Womach, a 34-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Sunday
morning when she allegedly pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru
drunk and demanded a free breakfast.
According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Womach pulled
up to a McDonald's drive-thru at about 6 a.m. Sunday and
demanded that they give her two free Big Macs because she
was unsatisfied with a purchase she had received during a
previous visit.
When the staff informed her that they didn't have any
Big Macs available because they were serving breakfast,
Womach demanded two free Egg McMuffins instead.
When employees informed Womach that she wouldn't be receiving
a free breakfast and needed to leave, Womach parked her car
in the drive-thru and refused to move.
After ten minutes of arguing with Womach, store employees
called authorities who arrived on the scene a few minutes
later.
Deputies noted a heavy smell of alcohol on Womach's breath
as she informed them that her rights had been violated by
the restaurant because they wouldn't meet her demands.
After failing a field sobriety test, Womach was booked into
jail and charged with driving under the influence. She was
released later the same day after posting bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Melody
Re: No newsletter on Gmail
Dear Webby
It has been over a week since I have received your
newspaper. Did I miss something?
Dear Melody
Your newsletter has been sent to you every night.
Check your SPAM folder.
You will probably have to make a filter to tell
Gmail to NOT put the Humor Letter into SPAM.
Just go into Settings, Filters.
Once you find the spot, it is quite easy.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Face Paint with Oil
You can remove face paint or other make up with olive oil
or coconut oil. Put some oil on a cotton ball and rub on
the face paint. Use another cotton ball to wipe up the
excess paint. Finish by washing your face with soap
and water.
By Stella Bella
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Quebec Math
Thibodeau wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until
he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question,"
the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the
number 9."
"Witout numbers?" Thibodeau says, "Dat is easy."
And he proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,"
says Thibodeau.
"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question.
Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
Thibodeau stares into space for a while, then picks up the
picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each
tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you
get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree,
and dirty tree. Dat is 99."
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have
to hire this guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same
rules again, but represent the number 100."
Thibodeau stares into space some more, then he picks up
the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each
tree and says, "Ere you go. One hunnerd."
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think
that represents a hundred!"
Thibodeau leans forward and points to the marks at the base
of each tree and says, "A little doggie came along and crap
by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree
and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hunnerd.
So, when I start?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
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Summer Season
Today, July 22, in
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats
out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke
Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under
mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea
for the first time since being launched on October 21/1797
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated
the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New
York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying
at 250 feet.
1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal
to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
1943 American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured
Palermo, Sicily.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S.
citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti
tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from
possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching
Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that
they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai
were killed in a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the
Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no
injuries were reported.
2004 The September 11 commission's final report was released.
The 575-page report concluded that hijackers exploited
"deep institutional failings within our government."
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century,
lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over
parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean.
2013 smiled
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