Elongated pictures 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 23.

Have FUN!

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The future will be better tomorrow. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe. --- Leo Rosten (1908 - )
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily or breaks off, it was a valuable plant.
A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk to put it on disk for him. He does. They are both looking at the monitor to see the results, and the man asks if the picture can be turned. "Sure" says the clerk. The man replies, "Good, I need a shot of the back of my house also."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sarah Maria Torres, 33, Sugar Land, TX Charged With Having Sex With Daughter's 14-Year-Old Ex Boyfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice Sarah Maria Torres, a 33-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly had sex with her daughter's 14-year-old ex boyfriend. According to Sugar Land Police, an investigation was launched after the boy told a family member about the sexual relationship that he had with his ex-girlfriend's mother. Investigators say the alleged sexual relationship took place on May 23 when the boy stayed home from school. Torres and the boy both live on the same street. The boy's mother reportedly provided officers with evidence that corroborates her son's account of the relationship, according to the arrest affidavit. Torres was booked into the Fort Bend County Jail and charged with sexual assault of a child. Her bond has been set at $150,000. Somehow, I would not be surprised if it turns out that the boy framed her because she terminated his relationship with her daughter. Tech Support Pits From: Darlene Re: Elongated pictures Dear Webby Love your Humor letter especially the tech help. You gave some advise on making things larger including pictures, can't remember when you gave it, I followed the instructions and things are larger. But my pictures are all elongated and another thing happened at the same time. When ever I hit my mouse it makes a loud click from my desktop when I change pages. Also on my IM the sub-titles across the top are like high lighted. What did I do wrong and how do I go back to the way it was? Thank you Darlene Dear Darlene The reason your pictures appear elongated is probably that you chose a setting intended for a wide aspect ratio monitor. Right-click on the desktop, Properties Settings and in there try different resolutions. I use 1600 x 1200. That looks fine on my monitor, and when I design a 5" x 6" ad, it measures precisely 5" x 6" on the screen. So, play with the resolution settings until you find one that suits your monitor and your eyes. If you got stuck with a sawed off (wide) monitor, they say that eventually your eyes get used to it, as long as you are not working with spreadsheets. Re the mouse click, you can set that in the Control Panel, Mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Cookie and Cracker Package Trays Don't throw out the plastic trays from cookie and cracker bags! They work great as holders for beads or paper pieces for your crafts, but you can also use them as mini-green houses and flower pots. By Angela L. from Sault Ste Marie, ON Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
What happens when you have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? You have the feeling that you're forgetting the same thing all over again.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter." Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man. God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him." God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
Poland's Underground Salt Cathedral

Today, July 23, in
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first 
1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in 
 Cincinnati, Ohio.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following 
 the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. 
 The dispute led to World War I.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in 
 service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, 
 under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission 
 was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. 
 The Nautilus achieved the goal on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live 
 TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de 
 France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after 
 it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in 
 "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out 
 more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2013  smiled

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