What is Rule 240 ? 

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Today is Wednesday, July 31.

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Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell
A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church."
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At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 4 men and 8 women: Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea." Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to change your mind?" Defendant: "No sir, when I pled 'Not Guilty' I didn't know there would be women on the jury. Since my wife always has her mind made up beforehand and resents it, when I try to confuse her with facts, I'll never be able to convince 8 women jurors."
Thanks to my dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version This was the top part of a 6 foot tall cactus, that fell over and broke into pieces. Dad let the pieces dry a month, then planted them into separate pots. As you can see, they bloomed quite nicely.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Julie Hautzenroeder, 36, Colerain Township, Ohio Teacher - Charged With Having Sex With Two Students Reported by The Weekly Vice Julie Hautzenroeder, a 36-year-old science teacher at Colerain High School, has been indicted on sex charges after she allegedly had sex with two students. According to the Hamilton County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched back in May of this year after school officials received information that Hautzenroeder had become sexually involved with a 16-year-old student. As the investigation unfolded, it was reportedly learned that Hautzenroeder had become sexually involved with two students who she had hired to babysit her daughter. The first student reportedly attends Colerain High School, however the age and location of the second student has not yet been released. According to court records, Hautzenroeder allegedly had intercourse with one students and oral sex with the second student. Hautzenroeder has been indicted on two counts of sexual battery. Tech Support Pits From: Glenis Re: Rule 240 Dear Webby, You travel a lot. What is "Rule 240" really about, and how does it apply under the current security restrictions? Glenis Dear Glenis I used to travel a fair bit, but that is not in the current budget. Re Rule 240, I bet you saw somebody march up to a ticket counter, mentioning "Rule 240", and how she was instantly given wads of hotel vouchers and tickets. "Rule 240" used to be the federal compensation schedule for passengers inconvenienced by delays due to air line mess-ups. Nowadays each airline has their own "Rule 240" filed with the DOT. The "Rule 240" filings are usually quite straight forward. IF you were at the gate on time, and IF there was no force majeure" events: weather, strikes, "acts of God," or other occurrences, that the airlines say they cannot control, or you miss a connection because they were late, they promise to put you up in a decent hotel, give you alternate tickets and meal vouchers. Where the fun comes in is that 99% of the airport counter staff have at one time or another heard about "Rule 240", but have no clue where they can find the copy that is supposed to be at each counter. So they usually fall all over themselves to err on the safe side, rather than get in trouble. If the take-off is delayed because of security problems, then the air line is theoretically off the hook, but very few counter staffers know enough about "Rule 240" to intelligently dispute the points, and rather give you vouchers. The European equivalent is EU Regulation 261/2004. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Be Careful With DIY Beauty Treatments So I just threw in three ingredients in an attempt to clear an oily nose; some lime juice, toothpaste and some scrub. As soon as I put it on it started to burn! I thought that it was just the side effect of the toothpaste but seven minutes later, it's still burning. I've decided to just leave it on for the full fifteen minutes, but I'm afraid of the result. Not pacticulary asking for help but just giving out a warning to potential DIY'ers. Don't do this! By KittyKakes E. Also avoid using dynamite or chainsaws for facial cleaning. That would be just as dumb. Simply sneak out to the garage and look for a can of Waterless Handcleaner. You can also buy it at Walmart, Home Depot, or any automotive parts & accessories store. Waterless Handcleaner is a gentle paste. Dip the tip of a finger into it, smear it onto your greasy nose, and wipe it off with paper towel or facial tissue. That's all there is to it! Believe me, industry would grind to a screching halt, if you took away waterless handcleaner. By the way, it also works very well to remove tar splatters or spray paint from cars, and has effectively removed grease and oil from mechanics faces and hands for over a hundred years. And it doesn't take much. "A little dab'll do ya." Some brands have a hint of lanolin (wool oil) in it to protect the skin after the cleaner has deep cleaned it and removed ALL oil and grease.It doesn't make your skin feel oily, but not dry either. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car. As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm becoming a Catholic."
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>From Lila DearWebby, can you please run that hilarious story about the fallen cake again? Thanks, Lila OK, here it is: Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect! Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom. Alice was horrified she was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? Oh, my she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back. The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attended the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP 'd she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South... and to Alice's horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert. Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, Thank you, I baked it myself." Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."

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For US

Today, July 31, in
1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the 
 Western Hemisphere, arrived at the island of Trinidad.
1790 The first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins 
 for his process for making potash and pearl ashes. 
 The substance was used in fertilizer.
1919 Germany's Weimar Constitution was adopted.
1928 MGM’s Leo the lion roared for the first time. 
 He introduced MGM’s first talking picture, "White Shadows 
 on the South Seas."
1932 Enzo Ferrari retired from racing. In 1950 he launched 
 a series of cars under his name.
1945 Pierre Laval of France surrendered to Americans in 
1955 Marilyn Bell of Toronto, Canada, at age 17, became 
 the youngest person to swim the English Channel.
1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures 
 of the moon's surface.
1971 Men rode in a vehicle on the moon for the first time 
 in a lunar rover vehicle (LRV).
1982 Yugoslavia imposed a six-month freeze on prices.
1989 A pro-Iranian group in Lebanon released a videotape 
 reportedly showing the hanged body of American hostage 
 William R. Higgins.
1991 U.S. President George H. Bush and Soviet President 
 Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty.
1995 The Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Capital 
 Cities/ABC in a $19 billion deal.
1999 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect crashed into the moon. 
 It was a mission to detect frozen water on the moon's 
 surface. The craft had been launched on January 6, 1998.
2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 million feature 
 length films sold. 
2013  smiled

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