Cicero 55BC 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, August 9.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



The muffler on my car was sounding more sporty by the day,
so I had to bust both piggy banks and get a new one. 
On the way back there was a sudden rain squall and really
wicked gusts of wind. When the car ahead of me was blown
into the greenery on the right and cam shooting back across 
my lane and into oncoming lane of traffic. From there he 
was blown back and into the greenery to the right again.

I stomped on the brakes to avoid hitting him, if he made 
it back into my lane. However, he stayed in the greenery, 
presumaby to change his underwear.

I got bounced around for about a quarter mile, but since 
all trafic had stopped, that was no problem. Driving felt 
more like being on a sailboat in a hurricane than in a 
car on the highway. After about quarter mile it settled 
down to just stormy gusts and the downpour stopped. 

Then the whole thing started all over again, this time
the gusts slugging from the passenger side.

I made it through that sillyness in about a quarter mile.
It might have been the beginnings of a tornado. They had
forecast tornadoes in the area. 

Changing the muffler should be no big deal, I figured. 
Yeah, right.
I had left my deep sockets and the Air Impact Driver in the
Yukon, when I moved South. Didn't think I would need them.
Well, there is no other way to remove the rusted nuts on
the muffler clamps. So I phoned around for the lowest price
and earliest possible spot at any auto mechanic in the 
area. 

After trying for a minute with the big air impact driver,
they wound up grinding off the muffler clamp. No wonder I 
could not undo the nuts by hand. The rest was easy, but
time consuming, because the mechanic had to frequently 
stop and work on other vehicles. They probably do that only
when the car owner is watching. That way they did manage to
drag it out to about an hour. That put me $130 deeper into 
debt, but the sporty sound was gone and no longer 
attracting the attention of the cops.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back." --- Earl Wilson "THE BUDGET SHOULD BE BALANCED, THE TREASURY SHOULD BE REFILLED, PUBLIC DEBT SHOULD BE REDUCED, THE ARROGANCE OF OFFICIALDOM SHOULD BE TEMPERED AND CONTROLLED, AND THE ASSISTANCE TO FOREIGN LANDS SHOULD BE CURTAILED LEST ROME BECOME BANKRUPT. PEOPLE MUST AGAIN LEARN TO WORK, INSTEAD OF LIVING ON PUBLIC ASSISTANCE". --- CICERO, 55 BC "A lot of friction is caused by half the drivers trying to go fast enough to thrill their girlfriends and the other half trying to go slow enough to placate their wives"
A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location." "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish." The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?" "I-75, two miles south of Standish." A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kristal Sharmayne Conley, 22, Waco, Texas Jailed After assaulting Washing Machine and Police Officers Reported by The Weekly Vice Kristal Sharmayne Conley, a 22-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Friday after she allegedly brawled with a washing machine, then attacked officers who came to arrest her for it. According to police, Conley was washing clothes at a Waco area laundromat Friday evening when she became angry and punched the glass out of one of the washing machines there. Officers were called to the scene as Conley attacked a second washing machine at the facility. When officers arrived to rescue the machine, Conley reportedly spat on one officer and attempted to strike a second officer. She was booked into the McLennan County Jail and charged with criminal mischief, assault on a peace office and attempted assault on a peace officer. She remains held in lieu of $21,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Julia Re: Better download for CrapCleaner Dear Webby When CrapCleaner, which I love!, wants to update, I wind up at weird download sites where they try to trap me on all kinds of detours. Why can't they have a quick and easy download without a lot of greedy fuss? Julia Dear Julia CrapCleaner is free. The programmers have donated their time and money to provide it to you for free. However, since they don't charge for it, they don't have the money to pay for the file transfer for Millions of downloads. So they allow download sites like FileHippo provide download locations. FileHippo makes money on that with all their advertising that they put in your path when you try to get your download. Actually, anybody, including you, can provide download locations for CrapCleaner. However, unless you have big, powerful servers and are willing to pay for the file transfer cost, don't try it. Since you are a subscriber, you can get it from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools. As long as you keep that fairly quiet, I won't have to restrict access to the toolbox. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tiny Changes To Save Electricity The recent essays on saving money on fuel bills in small ways got me thinking. I was getting annoyed with myself because I was wasting so much power boiling and reboiling my electric kettle. I kept forgetting to only heat as much water as I needed and left the coffee maker heating ring on all day. Realizing that there must be an answer to all this waste, I made these changes to my daily routines to save some electricity and some of my precious cash! I found a 5 pint pump action vacuum flask on sale for $2, a fantastic bargain, but they can be picked up for around $10. I boil the electric kettle twice in the morning, fill the flask and have hot water for tea on tap all day. If there is anything left come the evening, I use it for cooking or dish washing. The answer to the coffee problem was far more simple, I make the coffee, turn off the machine, then microwave it a cup at a time as I need it. It tastes better and saves me money too. Such tiny changes in our ways of doing things may seem insignificant on a daily basis, but they can add up to make a difference at the end of the month when we open the bills. By Ayesha from Kranj You can pre-heat the water with the sun. Pick up a 5 gallon club size coffee percolator at a garage sale or even new. They are cheap. Paint one side flat black with BBQ spray paint. Cover the back side and bottom with thin packaging foam. Then place it on a Southern or Western window or balcony. Fill it with cold water, so as not to run up your electrical bill (Hot water tank is the worst consumer!), and let the sun heat it up. It won't be hot enough for coffee, unless you are in a Southern state, but then you'd be drinking ice tea or sun tea anyway. However, it will be fairly hot and your kettle or microwave has to just top it off for a bit. The bulk of the heating has already been taken care of. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Jill walked up to an airport ticket counter and asked to buy a round trip ticket. "Where to?" Asked the smiling ticket agent. Jill rolled her eyes and said, "Duuuuuh, back here!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After receiving his medication from the pharmacist, the customer asked, "Are these time release pills?" The pharmacist replied, "Yes. They begin to work just as soon as your check clears!"

Amazing Tree Houses

Today, Aug 9, in
1678 American Indians sold the Bronx to Jonas Bronck for 400 beads.
1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three-year voyage. 
 It was the first ship to carry the American flag around the world.
1831 The first US steam locomotive began its first trip between 
 Schenectady and Albany, NY.
1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau.
1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames.
1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way telegraph.
1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing machine.
1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created 
 by Max Fleischer.
1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin Olympics. 
 He was the first American to win four medals in one Olympics.
1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council 
 created "Smokey the Bear."
1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing 
 came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 
 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14.
1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in 
 Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of Nagasaki
1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the 
 Malaysian Federation.
1974 U.S. PresidentRichard Nixon formally resigned. 
 Gerald R. Ford took his place
1975 The New Orleans Superdome was officially opened when the 
 Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. The 
 new Superdome cost $163 million to build.
1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade 
 was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles Kings.
1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for the 
 second time.
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister 
 Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth time 
 in 17 months.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would support 
 federal funding for limited medical research on embryonic 
 stem cells.
2004 Trump Hotel and Casion Resorts announced plans to file 
 for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
2013  smiled


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