Transfer files to new machine 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, August 11.
Thank you, Nancy!
Thank you Bonita!

On Tuesday I have to go to Calgary for the August
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters will 
be sent out Wednesday, Tursday and Friday. And no emails will
be answered on those days.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation. --- Roger Allen There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age. --- Benjamin Spock
You'll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If: * The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. * People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em. * The pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." Then five guys and two women stand up. * Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. * The choir is known as the "OK Chorale". * In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory. * Baptism is referred to as "branding". * There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank. * Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable. * High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. * People think "rapture" is what you get when you slip while lifting a beer keg. * The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub. * The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Towing and Junkyard. * The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. * The final "Amen" is drowned out by all the 4x4's in the parking lot starting up.
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Morris went to his lawyer Birnbaum and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," Morris replied. "Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you," said the lawyer Birnbaum. "But it's only $500," Morris insisted. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Sunset on Vancouver Island
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Desiree Romero, 28, Florence, Arizona Charged With Eating Drugs From Vagina During Jail Search Reported by The Weekly Vice Desiree Romero, a 28-year-old Arizona woman, was jailed Thursday after she was caught eating drugs from her vagina while she was being incarcerated on drug charges. According to the Pinal County Sheriff's Office, Romero and 26-year-old Thomas Duke were traveling on Interstate 10 Thursday evening when a deputy stopped a minivan they were traveling in for a traffic violation. The officer noted a large sign covering the van's back window as he pulled in behind it, which prompted a search of the vehicle. Officers recovered 14 large bundles of marijuana from the van at an estimated street value of $272,000. During the search, officers also recovered a vial of meth from Romero's purse. Romero denied having any other drugs located on her person as deputies arrested her and transported her to jail. During the booking process, Romero was asked to submit to a second search. That's when she allegedly retrieved about a gram of marijuana and meth from her vagina and attempted to swallow them. Detention officers were able to grab the drugs out of Romero's mouth before they were ingested. Romero and Duke were booked into the Pinal County Detention Center and charged with possession of marijuana with intent to sell, transportation of marijuana and marijuana possession. Romero was also charged with possession of a dangerous drug, possession of drug paraphernalia and promoting prison contraband. Duke is currently on parole for forgery and identity theft. Tech Support Pits From: Mark Re: Transfer data from old to new machine Dear Webby My wife will soon be taking possession of a new PC with Windows 7. Can you recommend a product or method to transfer her files & settings from her old PC which is running Windows XP. I understand I need to manually install the application software that she needs. Thanks for a great e-zine - it's an awesome start to the day. Regards Mark Dear Mark Since you plan to r-install all programs, why not just format the hard drive, and re-install everything? She is NOT going to like W7, and demand that anyway. After you format and re-install XP, it will be as fast as it was when you originally bought the machine. You could insert a new hard drive, that is no big deal. Then set that one as the main drive, and the old drive as the second drive. You simply move the little jumper on the drive from Master to Slave. Usually there is a little diagram for that right on the drive. Then you can copy what you need from the old drive, as if it was just a different folder. If you decide to get a W7 machine, and incur her wrath, you can do a similar trick. Get a USB remote drive enclosure for the hard drive from the old machine, and plug it into a USB port. It will appear just like a second drive inside the machine, and you can copy from it as easily as if it was just a different folder. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Trash Bag For the Car I have been able to keep my car cleaned up, by hanging a plastic grocery bag on the back of the front passenger seat with a velcro cord holder. (This is a nylon web with velcro on the ends. I was able to find 10/$1 at the Dollar Store.) I put the holder around the metal head rest post and attach the grocery bag. It is easy and safe to get to while I am driving, and it is out of the way. MUCH better than throwing trash on the floor! By dcnfamily from Reno, NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
A tenant in an apartment house phoned the police that there was a fight going on in the apartment right over him. So when the policeman arrived at the upstairs apartment, he heard furniture being thrown around and signs of a good old family brawl. He rapped on the door with his night stick and the door was opened by a very determined and disheveled woman. "Who's head of the family here?" "You just wait a minute and I'll tell you. That's what we're trying to settle inside.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Our parish priest was making his visits to several homes in the neighborhood. He knocked on one door, and a little 4-year-old boy opened it. When he saw the priest, he called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!"

Tribal Fusion

Today, Aug 11, in
1860 The first successful silver mill in America began 
 operations. The mill was in Virginia City, NV.
1874 A patent for the sprinkler head was given to Harry 
 S. Parmelee.
1877 The two moons of Mars were discovered by Asaph Hall, 
 an American astronomer. He named them Phobos and Deimos.
1896 Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the electric 
 light bulb socket with a pull-chain switch.
1909 The American ship Arapahoe became the first to ever 
 use the SOS distress signal off the coast of 
 Cape Hatteras, NC.
1934 Alcatraz, in San Francisco Bay, received federal 
 prisoners for the first time.
1942 During World War II, Pierre Laval publicly announced 
 "the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany 
 wins the war."
1945 The Allies informed Japan that they would determine 
 Emperor Hirohito's future status after Japan's surrender.
1954 Seven years of fighting came to an end in Indochina. 
 A formal peace was in place for the French and the 
 Communist Vietminh.
1962 Andrian Nikolayev, of the Soviet Union, was launched 
 on a 94-hour flight, the third Russian to go into space.
1965 The U.S. conducted a second launch of "Surveyor-SD 2" 
 for a landing on the Moon surface test.
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was preparing for his 
 weekly radio broadcast when, during testing of the 
 microphone, the President said, "My fellow Americans, 
 I am pleased to tell you that I just signed legislation 
 that would outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in 
 five minutes."
1990 Egyptian and Moroccan troops joined U.S. forces in 
 Saudia Arabia to help protect against a possible Iraqi 
1992 In Bloomington, MN, the Mall of America opened. 
 It was the largest shopping mall in the United States.
1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 
 10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of 
 the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill.
1995 All U.S. nuclear tests were banned by President Clinton.
1997 U.S. President Clinton made the first use of the 
 line-item veto approved by Congress, rejecting three 
 items in spending and tax bills.
1998 British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies 
 with the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the 
 largest foreign takeover of a U.S. company.
2002 US Airways announced that it had filed for bankruptcy.
2003 Charles Taylor, President of Liberia, flew into exile 
 after ceding power to his vice president, Moses Blah.
2003 In Kabul, NATO took command of the 5,000-strong 
 peacekeeping force in Afghanistan.
2013  smiled

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