File Transfer cable 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, August 12.
Thank you, Nancy!
Thank you Bonita!

Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for the August
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters will 
be sent out Wednesday, Tursday and Friday. And no emails will
be answered on those days.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself. --- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962)
A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts."
Cellulite Reduction and elimination! Home Exercise Program actually gets results! Only Proven Way To Reduce / Eliminate Cellulite Forever! Great deal if you click the link!

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness. 8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. 9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action. 12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Thanks to Cookie for this picture by her sister-in-law Pam: Click on the picture for the large version Virginia sunset
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rebecca Simmons, 45, Riverview, Floriduh Stabbing McDonald's Customer In The Buttocks The commotion began when Rebecca Simmons, 45, reportedly attempted to cut ahead of Mohammad Abukhder, 35, as they were starting their Wednesday morning with a McDonald's breakfast in Riverview, Fla., WTSP reports. Abukhder complained, causing Simmons to exit her car holding a small knife and puncture the hood of Abukhder's 2000 Honda Civic, according to ABC Action News. Then, as Abukhder tried to grab Simmons' keys so she could not leave, she allegedly stabbed him in the right buttocks. Abukhder suffered a small puncture and did not require medical attention. Simmons was arrested and brought to the Orient Road Jail on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage, according to the Tampa Tribune. Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Subject: How to transfer files to new machine Dear Webby I bought the Belkin Easy transfer cable from ebay. Here is one listed for $4.99 ... 33845a7d76 The cable is also available from many big box stores including Wal Mart. The cost there is somewhat higher. Just plug the cable in to your old machine, and your new one and let it work. All files and program settings will be transferred over including your email settings As the old machine is XP, you will need to install the transfer program on the CD included with the cables. If you are transferring to a XP machine, you will need to install on both machines. Having purchased the cable, I am now in demand among friends and acquaintances to help them. I get numerous free meals out of the bargain! Neil Dear Neil In the 80's and early 90's I used to use the LapLink Cables and disk for that. I still have the blue and the yellow cable, but have long lost the floppy with the program. Most likely that Belking Transfer Cable is a modern improvement of the old LapLink cables, and worth checking out! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Coffee Filter to Hold Snacks Cone shaped filters can be used for small snacks like dry cereal, goldfish crackers, and pretzels. Have children decorate with crayons or markers as they wait for their perfectly portioned snack. Coffee filters are much cheaper than paper cups or bowls, and they're environmentally friendly. My kids always think of creative ways to use them after snack too. By lessisbest from Wilmington, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
What My Mother Taught Me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean Underwear, in case you're in an accident." IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about." OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" CONTORTIONISM: "Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!" STAMINA: "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished." WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?" HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!!!" THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sam and James were very good friends. One day Sam came over to James's house to visit, but when he entered the home, James wasn't there. James's wife was holding their baby and trying to put up curtains at the same time. She said, "Sam, I'm glad you came, would you mind holding the baby while I finish the curtains? He's in a eally restless mood!" So Sam did his best trying to keep the baby from wrestling out of his arms. A few minutes later, James came in and said to Sam, "How ya doin, Sam?" Sam replied, "I'm holding my own". That's when the battle started.

No Aphids Here

Today, Aug 12, in
1676 "King Phillip's War" came to an end with the killing of 
 Indian chief King Phillip. The war between the Indians and 
 the Europeans lasted for two years.
1851 Isaac Singer was issued a patent on the double-headed 
 sewing machine.
1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery 
 by Joseph Lister.
1877 Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the first 
 sound recording.
1898 Hawaii was annexed by the U.S. Hawaii was later given 
 territorial status and was given Statehood in 1959.
1898 The Spanish-American War was ended with the signing of 
 the peace protocol. The U.S. acquired Guam, Puerto Rico and 
 the Philippines. Hawaii was also annexed.
1915 "Of Human Bondage", by William Somerset Maugham, was 
 first published.
1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. Judy 
 Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over 
 the Rainbow."
1953 The Soviet Union secretly tested its first hydrogen bomb.
1960 The balloon satellite Echo One was launched by the U.S. 
from Cape Canaveral, FL. It was the first communications 
1962 The Soviet Union launched Pavel Popovich into orbit. 
 Popovich and Andrian Nikolayev, who was launch a day before, 
 both landed on August 15.
1977 The space shuttle Enterprise passed its first solo 
 flight test.
1981 IBM unveiled its first PC.
1985 A Japan Air Lines Boeing 747 crashed into a mountain 
 killing 520 people.
1986 It was announced by NASA that they had selected a new 
 rocket design for the space shuttle. The move was made in 
 an effort at correcting the flaws that were believed to 
 have been responsible for the Challenger disaster.
1992 The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced that the North 
 American Free Trade Agreement had been created after 
 14 months of negotiations.
1993 U.S. President Clinton lifted the ban on rehiring air 
 traffic controllers that had been fired for going on strike 
 in 1981.
1998 Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion as restitution 
to World War II Holocaust victims.
1999 Hang Thu Thi Ngyuen shot an arrow from a bow with her 
 feet on "Guinness World Records: Primetime" and hit a target 
 that was 16 feet and 5 inches away. 
2013  smiled

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