Printing on both sides od paper 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, August 13.

Today I have to go to Calgary for the August
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters will 
be sent out Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 
And no emails will be answered on those days.
If you have an emergency, please write to Ophelia 

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784),
>From Moe One brave doctor During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says: "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Don't remove your clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"
Cellulite Reduction and elimination! Home Exercise Program actually gets results! Only Proven Way To Reduce / Eliminate Cellulite Forever! Great deal if you click the link!

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
Click on the picture for the large version Somebody heard a can opener!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Wood, 27, of Larose, Louisiana Drunk in court, with kids It's never a good idea to show up drunk to court. It's an even worse idea to bring your kids along for the show. Jessica Wood, a Louisiana woman, decided she'd show up drunk -- and with two children in tow -- to fight charges of driving under suspension, no insurance and failure to secure registration in Lafourche Parish court Aug. 7, according to NBC 33 TV. The judge had Wood arrested for contempt of court after she delivered several profanities with slurred speech while addressing him, and then failed to remain silent at his instruction. The judge entered a plea of not guilty to the traffic charges on Wood's behalf, the Associated Press reported. Tests later revealed Wood's blood alcohol concentration was .271 percent. The threshold for intoxication in Louisiana is .08 percent. A BAC of .3 is considered lethal in some jurisdictions, although that hasn't stopped some people from living to tell about it. Wood temporarily lost custody of her two children due to the incident, and will spend 150 days in jail. She may face additional charges of child endangerment. A pretrial hearing on the traffic charges of failure to secure registration, driving under suspension and no insurance was set for Nov. 12. Tech Support Pits From: Harold Re: Double Sided Printing Dear Webby I have a Brother MFC multifunction printer. It's a great printer, but unfortunately prints on only one side. To print the back side, it's a tedious shuffle to get the papers in the right order so that the page numbering does not get out of sequence. Is there a trick to that? Harold Dear Harold The trick is to click on the ClickBook link in the left side menu, or to go to and get Clickbook. It does all the shuffling for you. Whenever I buy an e-book or a lengthy report, I hit CTRL P to print, Select ClickBook as the printer, select "4 pages per sheet Booklet" from the 170 different formats that are available, and let it rip. When the printer stops spitting pages, I drop the entire printed stack, as is, into the paper feed tray. No turning, no flipping, just drop the whole stack. Then it prints the back sides. When the printer is finished with the back sides, I fold the stack in half and shoot some staples through the spine. That way, a 200 page e-book prints on 50 sheets of paper, all pages in perfect sequence and numbering. I have used it for years and it has never messed up a single print job. Whenever something to be printed is more than a single page, I use ClickBook. That little program cuts my paper and ink and printer replacement cost to 1/4 of what it would otherwise be. It's also perfect for reading while traveling. Instead of loose, full size sheets, you have your reading material in compact paperback book size, that is a lot less hassle on a plane. For MapQuest driving directions I select the 4 pages/sheet flip-down format like Ralley maps. That makes quite a difference in fast traffic in a strange city. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Spices and Extract to Deodorize Your Microwave To get rid of the awful lingering smell of burnt microwave popcorn, fill a large microwave-safe bowl with one cup of water and sprinkle your favorite spice like cinnamon or add several drops of vanilla or lemon extract. Bring to a boil. Let it sit inside for 10 to 15 minutes to cool down. Simply wipe the walls down with paper towels. Leave the door open to further air it out. By Rachel's Mom Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! Who's this?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A lawyer read the will of a rich man to the deceased's family: "To my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave the house and $2 million." The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1million." The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and said that I would never mention him in my will - well you are wrong. Hi Dan!"

Paper Sculptures

Today, Aug 13, in
1521 - Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish 
 conqueror Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians.
1704 - The Battle of Blenheim was fought during the War 
 of the Spanish Succession, resulting in a victory for 
 English and Austrian forces.
1792 - French revolutionaries took the entire French 
 royal family and imprisoned them.
1846 The American Flag was raised for the first time 
 in Los Angeles, CA.
1876 The Reciprocity Treaty between the U.S. and Hawaii 
 was ratified.
1889 A patent for a coin-operated telephone was issued 
 to William Gray.
1907 The first taxicab started on the streets of 
 New York City.
1912 The first experimental radio license was issued to 
 St. Joseph's College in Philadelphia, PA.
1931 The first community hospital in the U.S. was 
 dedicated in Elk City, OK.
1932 Adolf Hitler refused to take the post of 
 vice-chancellor of Germany. He said he was going to 
 hold out "for all or nothing."
1934 Al Capp's comic strip "L'il Abner" made its debut 
 in newspapers.
1935 The first roller derby match was held at the 
 Coliseum in Chicago, IL.
1959 In New York, ground was broken on the $320 million 
 Verrazano Narrows Bridge.
1960 "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first 
 two-way telephone conversation by satellite to take place.
1961 Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt 
 the flight of refugees. Two days later work on the Berlin 
 Wall began.
1985 The engagement of Maria Shriver and Arnold 
 Schwarzenagger was announced.
1990 Iraq transferred $3-4 billion in bullion, currency, 
 and other goods seized from Kuwait to Baghdad.
1992 Woody Allen began legal action to win custody of his 
 three children. A judge ruled against Allen in 1993.
1994 It was reported that aspirin not only helps reduce 
 the risk of heart disease, but also helps prevent colon 
2013  smiled

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