The Missing Link 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, August 19.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. --- Alice Thomas Ellis
Manager: "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary." Applicant: "Well, the work is much harder when you don't know what you're doing!"
Cellulite Reduction and elimination! Home Exercise Program actually gets results! Only Proven Way To Reduce / Eliminate Cellulite Forever! Great deal if you click the link!


A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, OK. Then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Thanks to Cynn for her picture: Click on the picture for the large version This was the view one morning on my way to work across Halifax Harbour on the ferry. Cynn
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Johnnie Gooden Jr, 29, Bryan, TX Jailed After Telling Bank Teller That he Was Obama's Adoptive Son, Demanding Access To Bank Account Reported by The Weekly Vice Johnnie Gooden Jr., a 29-year-old Texas bonehead, has been jailed after he allegedly walked into an area bank, claimed that he was President Obama's adoptive son, and demanded access to Michelle Obama's account. According to police, Gooden walked into a College Station bank and reportedly told the teller that Mr. and Mrs. Obama had recently adopted him into their family. Gooden then went on to say that Michelle Obama contacted him over Facebook and told him that they wanted to adopt him. Investigators say Gooden then demanded access to Michelle Obama's account. When the teller told Gooden that Mr. and Mrs. Obama did not have an account with them, Gooden refused to leave until his access to the account was granted. When an officer arrived at the bank a short time later, Gooden suddenly stopped talking. The officer conducted an i.d. check on Gooden and arrested him after learning that he had outstanding warrants for resisting arrest and assault on a public servant. During a pat down search at the scene, Gooden was found to be in possession of two bags of marijuana. He was booked into jail and charged with possession of marijuana in addition to the two warrants. Someone needs to tell him in which direction entitlement works. Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Where is the link for SmartPC Fixer? Dear Webby, Where is the link for SmartPC Fixer, the program you mentioned in the Sunday issue?? Ron Dear Ron Sorry about not making it clickable: Here it is: SmartPCFixer Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Line Cupboards with Vinyl Tiles Use peel and stick vinyl tiles to line your kitchen cupboards. They are inexpensive and wipe clean so easily. By Connie J. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
>From Dianne During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you Determine whether or not an older person should be put in a Nursing Home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the Bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you Want a bed near the window?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Our Air National guard unit conducted weapons-qualifying at the firing range. We had been issued our last rounds of ammo and were firing at the silhouettes, when a great gust of wind ripped the targets from their frames, and they fluttered away. Firing stopped as we looked to the range officials. "Keep shooting, Boys," a voice yelled. "We've got 'em on the run now."

Roadsworth, A Street Artist

Today, Aug 19, in
1812 "Old Ironsides" (the USS Constitution) won a battle 
 against the British frigate Guerriere east of Nova Scotia.
1848 The discovery of gold in California was reported by 
 the New York Herald.
1856 The process of processing condensed milk was patented 
 by Gail Borden.
1909 The first car race to be run on brick occurred 
 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
1919 Afghanistan gained independence from Britain.
1929 "Amos and Andy," the radio comedy program, made 
 its debut on NBC starring Freeman Gosden and 
 Charles Correll.
1934 Adolf Hitler was approved for sole executive 
 power in Germany as Fuehrer.
1940 The new Civil Aeronautics Administration 
 awarded honorary license #1 to Orville Wright.
1942 About 6,000 Canadian soldiers launched a raid 
 against the Germans at Dieppe, France. They 
 suffered about 50 percent casualties.
1960 Francis Gary Powers, an American U-2 pilot, was 
 convicted of espionage in Moscow.
1960 Two dogs were launched in a satellite into Earth's 
 orbit by the Soviet Union.
1974 During an anti-American protest in Nicosia, Cyprus, 
 U.S. Ambassador Rodger P. Davies was fatally wounded 
 by a bullet while in the American embassy.
1981 Two Libyan SU-22s were shot down by two U.S. Navy 
 F-14 fighters in the Gulf of Sidra.
1991 Soviet hard-liners announced that President 
 Mikhail Gorbachev had been removed from power. 
 Gorbachev returned to power two days later.
1998 The first piece of the 351 foot bronze statue 
 of Christopher Columbus arrived in San Juan, Puerto Rico.
1999 In Belgrade, thousands of Serbs attended a rally to 
 demand the resignation of Yugoslavia's President 
 Slobodan Milosevic.
2004 Google Inc. stock began selling on the Nasdaq Stock 
Market. The initial price was set at $85 and ended the 
day at $100.34 with more than 22 million shares traded.
2013  smiled


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