Zoom web pages without a mouse 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, September 3.

On Thursday, September 5, I have to go for injections
into my eyeballs. That means, there won't be any newsletters
sent out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

This one is quoted VERY often: Never confuse movement with action. --- Ernest Hemingway That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful. --- Ernest Hemingway
Thanks to Chris for this story: My son, Mitchell, a kindergartner, practices spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: cat, dog, dad, and mom have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: "G"-"O"-"D." "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" I praised him. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Catholic education is certainly having an impact, I thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?"
Thanks to ***** for this story: I decide to clean off the front patio. I start to the patio and notice mail on the desk that needs to be taken down to the Post Office. OK, I'm going to the Post Office . . . BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail that was delivered. I lay the car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk . . . BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out. But since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills. Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops.. there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there is my empty coffee cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks. BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I start to head for the kitchen and look out at my balcony, notice the flowers need a drink of water because of the extreme heat. I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away. BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! Someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants on my balcony. BUT FIRST I need to find those checks. END OF DAY: The patio has not been cleaned, bills still unpaid, cup still on the counter, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys. And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because...., I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious. I should get help. BUT FIRST . . . I think I'll check my e-mail. ---------- AAADD ? or maybe Emailitis ?
ONE more day only!
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As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, estimated to be 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour a few Million years ago, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"
In case you were not able to see the picture and link yesterday, try Oilfield Dodge 1920 Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tomeka Oliver, 39, Cincinatti, Ohio After Showing Up To Court Appearance Posing As Her 22-Year-Old Daughter Reported by the Weekly Vice Tomeka Oliver, a 39-year-old Ohio woman, was jailed Friday after she showed up for a court appearance posing as her 22-year-old daughter. According to police, 22-year-old Sarah Oliver was scheduled to appear in court after she was caught driving without a license. Instead, Sarah's mother, Tomeka Oliver showed up to court and pretended to be her daughter. The judge - who needs to start keeping his eye appointments - fined the woman $50 for driving without a license and then sent her on her way. When someone from the courtroom told the judge that the defendant didn't look like any 22-year-old they had ever seen before, the judge ordered Oliver back into the courtroom. The court quickly determined that the defendant was actually the real defendant's 39-year-old mother. Oliver was immediately cited for contempt of court and jailed until September 20. The judge also ordered a warrant for Sarah Oliver's arrest. Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Zoom without mouse Hi Dear Webby, how about mentioning that those of us with laptops and no auxiliary keyboard can accomplish the same thing by using CTRL and the respective - or + keys. Be well, live long, and prosper, Walter Dear Walter I guess you meant "without a mouse". Personally, I feel really sorry for any laptop users, who don't have a mouse yet. Any mouse, wired or wireless, can be used with any laptop made in the last 20 years. In case your mouse died or you forgot it at home or the last hotel, then Walter's advice will come in handy, CTRL and the Plus or Minus will accomplish the same. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Computer Use eyeglass cleaner to dust of the monitor and use a damp Q-tip between the keys. Use a feather duster to give it a dust, lightly over all. This works for me. You can't use anything strong on the monitor. By Evelyn from Detroit, MI Eyeglass cleaner is fine, so is window cleaner, dish-water and SimpleGreen in a sprayer. For the keyboard a damp, not quite dripping, shower sponge works best. That's the type of soft sponge, that is, or looks like a natural sponge. Dip it into clean dish-water, wring it a bit, so that it does not drip, and wiggle it over all your keyboards. Naturally you unplug your keyboards for that. You don't have to shut down, just unplug the keyboard. To dry them, any fuzzy towel will work fine. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A judge is at lunch one hot summer day and orders coffee with his meal. His companion says, "In this weather, you ought to order iced drinks, Judge -- sharp, iced drinks. Have you ever tried a gin and tonic?" "No," says the judge. "But I have tried many men who have."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
President Calvin Coolidge was notorious for his reluctance to talk. One Sunday he went to church by himself, and when he returned to the White House, his wife asked, "Was the sermon good?" "Yes," the President told her. "What was it about?" she asked. "Sin." "What did the minister say?" "Seems to be against it."

Tropical Edibles

Today, September 3, in
1189 England's King Richard I was crowned in Westminster.
1783 The Revolutionary War between the U.S. and Great Britain 
 ended with the Treaty of Paris.
1935 Sir Malcolm Campbell became the first person to drive 
 an automobile over 300 miles an hour. He reached 304.331 MPH 
 on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah.
1939 British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, in a radio 
 broadcast, announced that Britain and France had declared war 
 on Germany.
1943 Italy was invaded by the Allied forces during World War II.
1954 "The Lone Ranger" was heard on radio for the final time after 
 2,956 episodes over a period of 21 years.
1967 Nguyen Van Thieu was elected president of South Vietnam 
 under a new constitution.
1967 In Sweden, motorists stopped driving on the left side of the 
 road and began driving on the right side.
1976 The U.S. spacecraft Viking 2 landed on Mars. The unmanned 
 spacecraft took the first close-up, color photos of the planet's 
 surface.
1981 Egypt arrested more than 1,500 opponents of the government.
1989 The U.S. began shipping military aircraft and weapons, 
 worth $65 million, to Columbia in its fight against drug 
 lords.
1994 Russia and China announced that they would no longer be 
 targeting nuclear missiles or using force against each other.
1999 Mario Lemieux's ownership group officially took over the 
 National Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins. Lemieux became 
 the first player in the modern era of sports to buy the team 
 he had once played for.
2013  smiled


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