Stretched pictures 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, September 4.

Thank you, Svend!

On Thursday, September 5, I have to go for injections
into my eyeballs. That means, there won't be any newsletters
sent out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Thanks to Gary for this link to arctic ice.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? --- Spike Milligan
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into Mrs Haggarty's outhouse!"

Last day for this link!
The First Cookbook Made For Getting Your Best Body With All Natural Foods. Discover The Delicious Body Sculpting Secrets That A Top Bikini Model Uses To Make Healthy Food Taste Great Without Damaging Additives! Get the Bikini Model Cookbook now!

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rachelle Gendron, 27, Fitchburg, Mass. Sex Education Teacher - Jailed After Repeatedly Having Sex With Student Reported by the Weekly Vice Rachelle Gendron, a 27-year-old sex education teacher at North Central Charter Essential School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old student. According to police, Gendron lured a student into a sexual relationship by sending him photographs of herself in various states of undress. Prosecutors noted that Gendron's breasts and genitals were exposed in the photographs. Gendron then had sex with the student three times in October 2012, once in January 2013 and another time in March 2013. Investigators say dozens of explicit text messages along with the photographs were recovered from the victim's phone and have now been secured as evidence. Gendron, who lives with her parents, taught at the school for five years. School officials announced Gendron's termination from her position shortly after her arrest. She was booked into jail and charged with rape aggravated by age difference and enticing a person under 16. She was released after posting a $2,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Darlene Re: Elongated pictures Dear Webby Love your Humor letter especially the tech help. You gave some advise on making things larger including pictures, can't remember when you gave it, I followed the instructions and things are larger. But my pictures are all elongated and another thing happened at the same time. When ever I hit my mouse it makes a loud click from my desktop when I change pages. Also on my IM the sub-titles across the top are like high lighted. What did I do wrong and how do I go back to the way it was? Thank you Darlene Dear Darlene The reason your pictures appear elongated is probably that you chose a setting intended for a wide aspect ratio monitor. Right-click on the desktop, Properties Settings and in there try different resolutions. I use 1600 x 1200. That looks fine on my monitor ( 14 1/2" x 10 3/4" viewing area ), and when I design a 5" x 6" ad, it measures precisely 5" x 6" on the screen. So, play with the resolution settings until you find one that suits your monitor and your eyes. Re the mouse click, you can set that in the Control Panel, Mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Aluminum Foil For Cleaning Your Iron In the 40's, mom rubbed aluminum foil on the iron to clean it. By Dahl_Kaiser Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Frivolous lawsuits have led to lots of wacky labels: A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to "Remove child before folding" A prescription of sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing.... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving." A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof." Awwww, why not? You can throw snow a lot further from up high! A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious" A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn" A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping" A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use" A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place" A Bathroom Heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms" A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution - Risk of Fire" A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Her: "How's your history paper coming?" Him: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful. Her: "Really?" Him: "Yes! So far I've located 17 people who sell them!"

Tropical Edibles

Today, September 4, in
0476 Romulus Augustulus, the last emperor of the western 
 Roman Empire, was deposed when Odoacer proclaimed himself 
 King of Italy.
1609 English navigator Henry Hudson began exploring the 
 island of Manhattan.
1781 Los Angeles, CA, was founded by Spanish settlers. The 
 original name was "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora La Reina 
 de Los Angeles de Porciuncula," which translates as 
 "The Town of the Queen of Angels."
1882 Thomas Edison's Pearl Street electric power station 
 began operations in New York City. It was the first 
 display of a practical electrical lighting system.
1886 Geronimo, and the Apache Indians he led, surrendered 
 in Skeleton Canyon in Arizona to Gen. Nelson Miles.
1888 George Eastman registered the name "Kodak" and 
 patented his roll-film camera. The camera took 100 
 exposures per roll.
1894 A strike in New York City by 12,000 tailors took 
 place to protest sweatshops.
1899 An 8.3 earthquake hit Yakutat Bar, AK.
1917 The American expeditionary force in France suffered 
 its first fatalities in World War I.
1923 The first American dirigible, the "Shenandoah," 
 began its maiden voyage in Lakehurst, NJ.
1944 At the end of World War II, British troops entered 
 the city of Antwerp, Belgium.
1957 The Ford Motor Company began selling the Edsel. The 
 car was so unpopular that it was taken off the market 
 only two years later.
1967 Michigan Gov. George Romney said during a TV interview 
 that he had undergone "brainwashing" by U.S. officials 
 while visiting Vietnam in 1965.
1972 Swimmer Mark Spitz captured his seventh Olympic gold 
 medal in the 400-meter medley relay event at Munich, 
 Germany. Spitz was the first Olympian to win seven 
 gold medals.
1981 The Soviet Union began war games with about 100,000 
 troops on the Polish border.
1989 A reconnaissance satellite was released by the Air 
 Force's Titan Three rocket. The Titan Three set over 
 200 satellites into space between 1964 and 1989.
1998 In Mexico, bankers stopped approving personal loans 
 and mortgages.
1998 The International Monetary Fund approved a $257 million 
 loan for the Ukraine.
1999 The United Nations announced that the residents of 
 East Timor had overwhelmingly voted for independence from 
 Indonesia in a referendum held on August 30. In Dili, 
 pro-Indonesian militias attacked independence supporters, 
 burned buildings, blew up bridges and destroyed 
 telecommunication facilities.
2003 Keegan Reilly, 22, became the first parapalegic climber 
 to reach the peak of Japan's Mount Fuji.
2013  smiled

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