Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, September 17.

Even though the big Media in the US tried to hush up
the "2 million Bikers to DC on 9/11" run, the European
news reported the event. Here is an example:

Have FUN!

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. --- A. Whitney Brown Here's to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. --- Ambrose Bierce Consience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. --- Evan Esar "I'm in favor of liberalized immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in, except the English." --- Calvin Tillin
Jim strolls into the paint section of a hardware store and walks up to the assistant. "I'd like a pint of canary-colored paint," he says. "Certainly," says the clerk. "Mind if I ask why you need it?" "My parakeet," says Jim. "See, I want to enter him in a canary contest. He sings so sweetly that I know he's sure to win." "Well, you can't do that!" the assistant says. "The chemicals in the paint will almost certainly kill the poor thing!" "No, they won't," Jim replies. "Listen, Buddy, I'll bet you ten bucks your parakeet dies if you try to paint him." "You're on!" says Jim. Two days later Jim comes back looking very sheepish and puts ten dollars on the counter in front of the clerk. "So the paint killed your bird?" "Indirectly," Jim says. "He seemed to handle the paint okay, but he didn't survive the sanding between coats."
Ed told me his buddy came in late one day because his car lock had become frozen. The guy defrosted it by holding the key in a candle flame to get it hot enough to just "slide" through the ice. The guy said, "That worked so well I've got a bunch of candles in the glove box in case it happens again." Ed said, "How will you get them out?"
Discover The Secrets To Building a 50MPH ELECTRIC BIKE with The Performance of a Motorcycle* and SAVE THOUSANDS on Fuel, Insurance, and Parking costs. Today you can learn how to build a 50MPH electric bike using parts available in your garage or online, so you can start to reduce your carbon footprint AND reduce your commuting stress levels by never having to sit in another traffic jam again. * Gasoline motorcycles will of course go over 50 mph on the freeway. The electric bike is intended for downtown commuting and shopping, not for racing on the freeway. Acceleration off a traffic light is phenomenal with electric bikes!

The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict. Bitterly he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?" The foreman answered, "Insanity." The D.A. said, "All twelve of you?"
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Ethiopian Opal
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittani French, 25, Louisville, Kentucky Jailed for Hiding Dopey Metal Breath Mint Box Inside Vagina Reported by the Weekly Vice Brittani French, a 25-year-old Kentucky woman, was booked into jail on a minor shoplifting charge when officers found something that peaked their interest a little more. According to police, officers were processing French into the prison when a body scan device revealed a square metal object located inside French's genital area. Female correction officers performed a strip search and removed a metal breath mint box from her vagina. Inside the breath mint box were four baggies that allegedly contain methamphetamine residue. Also inside the box were four more baggies and a green straw. French allegedly confirmed to police that the residue on the baggies was methamphetamine. She also told police that she hid the box inside her vagina because she didn't, want "to get into any more trouble." She was booked into Louisville Metro Corrections and charged with promoting contraband, trafficking in a controlled substance and tampering with evidence. Tech Support Pits From: Kathy Re: IM-Toolpack Dear Webby, I don't know if a member of your awesome group is supposed to write in regards to advice that you have given so just tell me if not. I have a program downloaded called IM Tool Pack and I just love it because of its ease of use. Just had to chime in. Bye for now Kathy G Dear Kathy Thanks for a very handy program! I checked it out and it seems to be a handy tool. Here is the info I found there: IM ToolPack is an application that allows you to easily capture screenshots with IM ToolPack and upload them to the Web for free! You can crop, highlight, draw on or even add text directly onto the screenshot. Share your screenshots with friends through instant messaging and webmail, or post them on social networks, forums, blogs and websites. You can manage stored screenshots and share them by copying and pasting tiny URLS wherever you want. IM-ToolPack is at and is free. What sets IM-Toolpack apart from other programs is that you can upload your screenshots, and then simply send the URL in email or via Skype or FB. You won't be cluttering up YOUR computer with screenshots. They will all be up in the cloud. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Keep Washing Machines Free of Detergent Build-up Hello, I live in Australia. We use litre measurements here. Turn machine on, fill with warm water (full load level) and add a bit more than 1/2 gallon of the cheapest vinegar available. Let the machine finish its cycle. I sometimes move back the timer to wash again. Do this twice a year. It takes out soap scum build up and also disinfects and deodorises interior. Go ahead as usual with your next wash. By gethelena That is especially important with front loading machines, that get closed when not in use. Smelly bacteria like breeding in those. The vinegar gets rid of them. You don't even need the warm water. Just vinegar alone is good enough. It gets splashed into all the places, where soap scum and bacteria accumulate. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, "Hey Paddy!, what's that little green thing you've got down there?" The little green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry, "SPLBLBLBLT!," right in the face and then runs back to the Irishman. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey Paddy!, what is that thing, anyway?" The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun." "A leprechaun!" says the Englishman laughing, "Boy, I never knew leprechauns were so ugly!" The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is really mad! "Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll cut his pecker off!" he shouts. "You can't do that" says the Irishman. "Leprechauns don't have peckers." "How do they pee, then?" asks the Englishman. "They don't," says the Irishman. "They go SPLBLBLBLBT!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond as he hadn't been there for a while to look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond. I only came to feed my alligator."

Storm Trivia

Today, September 17, in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that 
 expelled all Jews from France.
1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native 
 American tribe, the Delaware Nation.
1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was 
 signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention.
1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American 
 Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or 
 missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses to 
 both armies.
1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler
1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. 
 It took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to 
 Pasadena, CA.
1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, 
 began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV.
1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 
 276.27 mph over a half mile.
1937 At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated.
1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded the
 previously German part of Poland on September 1.
1962 U.S. space officials announced the selection of 
 Neil A. Armstrong and eight others as new astronauts.
1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV.
1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA.
1988 Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of 
 Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted.
1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the 
 Iran-Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years.
1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being 
 taken over by China in 1997.
1998 The United States government offered a reward for the 
 capture of Haroun Fazil for his role in the bombing of the 
 US embassy in Kenya on August 7, 1998.
2013  smiled

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