IM-Toolpack to store scren shots on the cloud 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, September 18.
Thanks Ed!
Thanks Joseph!
Thanks Mildred!

Have FUN!

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The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881)
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding at the wedding dinner, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!" "IMPOSSIBLE!!" said the groom broom. "We haven't even swept together!"
After a round of golf, 4 elderly ladies sat around the club house chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?" The first said she had a good round...making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was. The second lady then quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders. The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders. The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long. The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left. He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "riders"?" The bar tender simply smiled and said: "A 'rider' is when you have hit a shot long enough to take a ride on a golf cart."
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Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Johnny, "How come you aren't married?" Johnny: "I haven't found the right woman yet." George: "So what are you looking for?" Johnny: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and house- keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a really nice and pleasant personality is a must -and money, she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU." Johnny: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Rain in Colorado
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mark Cruz, 28, of Wimauma, Floriduh Jailed for shooting himself Reported by Arca Max A Florida felon is in trouble again after the handgun he allegedly possessed in violation of the law discharged by mistake and shot him in the leg, police said. Mark Cruz, 28, of Wimauma, Fla., was carrying a .22-caliber pistol that fell out of his pocket and went off when it hit the ground, striking Cruz in the leg, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said. Cruz turned up at an area hospital where he was uncooperative with police investigating the incident, the South Florida Sun Sentinel said Friday. Cruz refused to say where the gun was -- telling police he threw it in an undisclosed lake. Cruz was charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm, carrying a concealed firearm and destroying physical evidence. He is now out on bail again. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: IM-Toolpack Dear Webby, I wrote to you in the last couple of days about screenshots and how to take them, and save them. The info you sent to me was great and appreciated. But this mornings paper had a letter from Kathy G. detailing a program called IM Toolpack for taking and saving screenshots. I downloaded the program and for someone who is just starting to learn the ins and out of computing without formal training it was so easy to use . could you please pass my thanks to Kathy G for me Webby....have a great week everyone! Randall Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Simple Green to Clean Thermos Both the Clorox Bleach company Customer Service and Oxiclean Customer Service say not to use their products to clean a stainless steel thermos. Why? Using products that contain bleach can cause damage to the metal. I contacted the company that makes "Simple Green" and was told that their product will not damage a stainless steel thermos. Here is the email response from Simple Green: Simple Green All Purpose Cleaner is safe and effective for cleaning the inside of a stainless steel thermos. The product can be used at about a 1:10 dilution ratio. To insure that there is no residue remaining, rinse thoroughly with clean water. Customer Service and Business Support Manager Sunshine Makers, Inc./ Simple Green 15922 Pacific Coast Highway Huntington Beach, CA 92649 562-795-6091 I was able to purchase Simple Green at Ace Hardware. It is likely that it is available at other hardware supply stores. And yes, it does work. By janebirk As those of you, who read this column, probably noticed, I have recommended Simple Green hundreds of times in the last twenty years. In the 80's, when I was an apprentice Electromechanic a cute young lady came by and demonstrated Simple Green. It worked very well for cleaning grimy, greasy electrical motors, and then she showed us, that it was not toxic, by spraying it on her palm, and with a tongue, that would make Miley Cyrus envious, licked it off her palm. John, my Journeyman, instantly fell in love with her, and asked her out for dinner. I don't know if anything came of that, but we got five 5 Gallon pails of Simple Green, and never ran out of it as long as I worked there. I have used Simple Green for everything from engines to keyboards, from glass stove-tops to floors. On shiny vinyl floors I mist a 6 square foot area with Simple Green with one hand, and damp-mop it with a heavy string mop with the other hand. Most of you will probably have to use both hands on the mop, but you will get the same clean shine. Simple Green is concentrated. You put a few inches of it into a trigger sprayer, top it off with water, and just mist it onto what you want to clean. Works great on greasy hands too! If there is no Ace hardware nearby, you can get Simple Green at Home Depot or Walmart Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. (Don't ask why or how, it just happens...) God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter." With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Murphy and his wife went for a stroll in the park. They sit down on a bench to rest for awhile. Soon they overhear voices coming from a secluded spot nearby. Suddenly, Mrs. Murphy realizes that a young man is about to propose. Not wanting to be eavesdropping during such an intimate moment, she gently nudges her husband and whispers, "Whistle, to let that young couple know that someone can hear them." To which Murphy replies, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me!"

Snazzy Staircases

Today, September 18, in
1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British.
 The Quebecois have never forgiven the English for that.
1763 It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first 
 piano had been built in the United States. The instrument 
 was named the spinet and was made by John Harris.
1789 Alexander Hamilton negotiated and secured the first 
 loan for the United States. The Temporary Loan of 1789 
 was repaid on June 8, 1790 at the sum of $191,608.81.
1810 Chile declared its independence from Spain.
1830 The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, 
 raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when 
 the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties.
1850 The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress. 
 The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had 
 escaped into other states.
1891 Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman 
 to ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was 
 the Six Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York.
1895 Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic adjustment.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send 
 warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters, that were searching for 
 hidden Iraqi weapons, if it became necessary.
1994 Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th. 
 This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them 
 out of power.
1998 The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication 
 for AIDS patients.
2013  smiled

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