W8 Instruction Manual 

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, September 20.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

If some con artist, claiming that you have won a large sum
of money, and that he is from the MINISTRY OF ECONOMY 
PROPERTY, don't give him your real address! Use the address 
of your mayor or some politician, or make one up.
And make a list of the worst possible insults, and have 
them ready to copy/paste to the Nigerian scammer, when he
tells you that in order to receive your winnings, you first 
have to pay him. 

I wasted some time with one of them, while I was on hold 
on the phone to the Government. I clued in to the fact that 
he was a Nigerian 419 scammer, when I saw MINISTRY OF 
ECONOMY PROPERTY and some wacky grammar. His picture, 
looking like a smiling wanna-be politician standing in 
front of a flag, looked too phony for me anyway. 

So I readied a bunch of really rank insults, and the 
moment he mentioned I would have to pay him for sending
the check, I pasted him all those insults, 
and then promptly reported him to FaceBook.

"419" is the number/name of the law dealing with scammers 
like that. Get a good list of insults ready and practise

Have FUN!

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It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004)
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being--a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol, whom one can treat as one's absolute own, who will be kind and faithful when times are hard, who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Yes, I can help you choose which puppy to buy!"
Wendy tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to Paul her good friend. Paul told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied Wendy, "if I only can sell the car." "Okay," said Paul. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, Wendy made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, Paul asked Wendy, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied Wendy, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."
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GROAN ALERT! Mrs. O'Malley arrived in Boston from Ireland, and in no time at all her bean soup made her the talk of New England society. At a party celebrating the sale of her recipe to a fancy Charles Street restaurant, an old matron approached Mrs. O'Malley and said, "My dear girl, what is the secret of your soup?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "The secret o' me soup is that I use but two-hundred thirty-nine beans to make it." The woman said, "Why only two-hundred thirty-nine?" Mrs. O'Malley said, "Because one more would make it too farty."
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Balloons, Chambley, France
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Jackson, 47 and Josephine Erikson, 61 in Chandler, Arizona Christopher Jackson, Man Accused Of Branding Woman's Vagina, Arrested On Suspicion Of Bestiality Reported by The Huff Post A Chandler, Ariz. man accused of burning his initials onto the genitals of at least one woman was arrested again on Monday, after sheriff's deputies allegedly found pornographic videos featuring a dog at his home. Christopher Jackson, 47, was arrested on suspicion of bestiality after police found the home movies while executing a search on his home in connection with the branding case, according to the Arizona Republic. “If you saw the video, you’d be pretty sick,” Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio said, according to the newspaper. “We weren’t expecting this.” Police also arrested 61-year-old Josephine Erikson, who they say is seen in the videos participating in sex acts involving Jackson's male German Shepard. Jackson and another woman, whom authorities are still searching for, also appear in the bestiality porn. Detectives removed the dog from Jackson's home and are currently taking care of it, according to ABC Phoenix. Both Jackson and Erikson are in jail on bestiality charges. Jackson was arrested Sept. 3 after police claim he drugged his girlfriend and branded his initials, "CJ" onto her vaginal area. The woman awoke in severe pain in Jackson's bed. She told police that Jackson bragged that he'd done the same thing to other women in the past and explained he did it because "her vagina was his," according to court documents obtained by the Phoenix New Times. Police recovered a butane torch and branding tool from Jackson's home in a search, CBS reported earlier this month. Tech Support Pits From: Sheila Re: W8 Dear Webby, I have the unfortunate luck of having Windows 8. THere are so many "tricks" to do anything on all the OS's, but how can one learn short cuts. I know alt ctrl delete, and ctrl P and that's about it. Is there a web page? Is it trial and error? It's like I'm driving a Cadillac but pushing it every where I go because I don't know all the perks in operating it. Thanks for any help Punk Dear Sheila I am not using W8 and don't know of any books about it. Try asking whoever conned you into buying a W8 machine, or get your money back and buy a W7 machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shoe Polish To Repair Damaged Leather We just had the dreaded nail polish remover stain on leather scenario, and the shoe polish tip has worked a treat. It's a brown leather sofa and I just worked some brown wax shoe polish into the stains, let it dry, then buffed it up. The stains weren't too bad and one application does seem to have done the trick. Happy days :) By Jon B. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had, could write."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship off- shore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "The captain said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

» Rock Cairns

Today, September 20, in
1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain 
 to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan 
 was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually 
 made the journey.
1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian 
 troops, leading to the unification of Italy.
1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint 
 U.S.-Soviet expedition to the moon in a speech to the 
 U.N. General Assembly.
1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco 
 from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the 
 U.S., France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping 
 troops back to Beirut.
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed 
 search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction.
1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the 
 national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide 
 their own speed limits.
2013  smiled

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