How to send email to a group list: 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, September 21.

Twenty years ago today, in 1993, Russian President Boris N. 
Yeltsin kicked out the Communist-dominated Congress. 
They got one way tickets to Siberia, and Russia got 
started on Free Enterprise Capitalism.

Gee, nobody tells you nothing!
Now you will slowly have to stop calling them "Commies",
especially since they are laughing about the commie in
the White House.

Have FUN!

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No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings. --- William Blake (1757 - 1827) A moment's insight is sometimes worth a lifetime's experience. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935)
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for her, saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long.
Thanks to Allan for this story: It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this." *Click.*
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Dave was talking to his buddy, John, about his love life. "So, John, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," John nodded his head, "Whenever I mention sex, they object."
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Diana Farnell Jailed After Having Sex With Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Relatively normal compared to other current boneheads, Diana Farnell, a 28-year-old English teacher at Union Academy Charter School, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to Monroe Police, an investigation was launched Tuesday after detectives received a tip about an alleged inappropriate relationship that Farnell was having with a student. Police spokesperson, Pete Hovaneck, stated that Farnell admitted to the charge after detectives gathered "a lot of information" about the alleged relationship. Although the student is now 17 years old, reports indicate that the alleged relationship began earlier in the year when the student was 16. After failing to notify parents about the arrest, school officials were asked by a reporter if they had anything to say to concerned parents about the arrest. Union Academy Headmaster, Ann Walters, replied "This is a personnel issue and I'm not allowed to speak about it." Farnell was booked into the Union County Jail and charged with one count of sex offense with a student. She was released after posting $10,000 bond. Police say that the investigation is ongoing and that additional charges will probably be forthcoming. ------------- I don't give bonehead awards to ALL teachers, who got caught. That would be too repetitious, however, I am beginning to see a profile pattern. English teachers seem to be getting caught messing with gossippy boys more often than teachers of other subjects. Are they getting caught because of excessive texting? Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Send to a group list in Eudora Dear Webby, Well here I am again not knowing what I am doing wrong so I will ask you for some help because of your vast knowledge of computers and programs. As you know I downloaded Eudora and I have been playing around with it but I don't know how to send mail to a group of people at 1 time. I have made a folder with the group but I still have to click on each name to put it on the email. Is there a way that I can do that with Eudora? Your friend always. Jim Dear Jim In the address book ( CTRL L ) make a new book ( ALT W ) and for example call it INLAWS or OUTLAWS. Then put the addresses into those books. For sending, you just put INLAWS into the BCC field, and it will expand and fill them in at send time. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Save Crumbs For Cooking Instead of throwing away leftover cookie crumbs or leftover pretzel crumbs, use them for a pie crust. Just substitute either of them for the graham cracker crumbs called for in the recipe you use. Instead of throwing away crumbly muffins or coffee cake, save the crumbles and freeze. When you have enough, they can be used to make a nice bread pudding. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Three pastors from different congregations were having lunch and sharing experiences and ideas to help each other out with their different fellowships. After several minutes of animated conversation, the first one remarks, "Hey, you know, we've got a serious problem at our church that I want to discuss with you guys." The other two pastors nod and he goes on, "Well, it's bats. We can't seem to get these bats out of our attic. The singing and organ playing wake them up, and they start flapping around. Then when I start to preach, we can still hear them moving around up there and it's really hard for anyone to pay any attention. The kids start to cry and, well, it's starting to really get in the way of a good church service." The second pastor says "Well that's interesting, because we've had the same problem, they won't stay out of our belfry. We've tried ringing the bells at all hours, spraying chemicals, we've even had a couple of exterminator companies out. Nothing's worked yet." He throws up his hands in exasperation and shakes his head. The third pastor smiles and nods his head knowingly. "Well, gentlemen. We had that problem a few years ago, and we found a quick solution." he says. The other two pastors look up with hope on their faces, and he goes on, "It was easy. We got up there, got to know 'em a little bit. Pretty soon we had them come on down, got 'em baptized and asked them for a donation. Haven't seen 'em since."

Healthy House Bugs

Today, September 21, in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the 
1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first 
 gasoline- powered automobile after Otto's carriage 
 for a test drive.
1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a 
 Santa Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter 
 from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon.
1931 Britain went off the gold standard.
1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast 
 territory of Manchuria.
1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published.
1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic 
 of China.
1964 Malta gained independence from Britain.
1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The 
 spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip 
 flight to the moon.
1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain.
1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was 
 the brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect 
 when he was assassinated.
1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their 
 family reunion program.
1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he 
 was ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was
 effectively seizing all state power.
1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted 
 to admit women.
1996 John F. Kennedy Jr. married Carolyn Bessette in a 
 secret ceremony on Cumberland Island, GA.
2013  smiled

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