How to completely clean Norton off a machine: 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 12.

We got 4 inches of snow overnight. Not much, compared
to other areas, that got a couple of feet. Half of that 
melted by evening. We are most definitely out of the 
Warming ripple and into the Cooling ripple, even in 
some areas, where the peeple firmly believed 
Al Gore and his Gullible Warming con job.

Don't worry, he is already working on an Ice Age Scare
movie, and has hired a whole bunch of Jewish Mother-in-Laws
to advise him on how to make you feel guilty. That's big
business, ya know!

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. --- John E. Southard
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she drove the boat to shore and slammed it against the dock. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. Set the table, cook dinner and do the dishes."
Stink Bug Control! (This is NOT about the Government!) In Alaska, don't worry about stinkbugs, yet. So far they are only in the lower 48 states, and worst in the East. If the stinkbugs have started to show up in your area, get this book! The price WILL go up, so don't procrastinate! Get StinkBug Control now!

From Manure to S.H.I.T. Manure: In the 15th and 16th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. I didn't know the origins of this word, did you?? I had always thought it was a golf term.
Click on the picture for the large version By evening half of the snow had melted, but still looked pretty.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steve Orville Clemons, 69, Wildwood, Floriduh Pantless Driver Jailed After Masturbating In McDonald's Drive Thru Reported by The Weekly Vice Steve Orville Clemons, a 69-year-old Florida man, was jailed late last month after he allegedly masturbated in a McDonald's drive-thru while attempting to force the cashier to touch him. According to police, Clemons was picking up an order at a McDonalds drive-thru in Wildwood late last month when the drive-thru cashier who was assisting him saw that he had no pants on and was masturbating inside his car. Investigators say the cashier had turned to hand Clemons his change when he suddenly grabbed her hand and attempted to pull it into his vehicle. The employee immediately yanked her hand away, closed the window and called 911. Officers searched the area and located Clemons at a nearby gas station. When officers approached the vehicle, Clemens was still seated in his vehicle without any pants - although he did manage to find a t-shirt which was placed on his lap. Clemons was booked into the Sumpter County Jail and charged with battery. He was released a short time later after posting $500 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Jan Re: Getting rid of Norton Dear Webby Me again,if i just go to uninstall and let it uninstall what it does of Norton since you say it doesn't all get out and install McAfee will I and my computer be ok???????? Jan Dear Jan Go to Hit CTRL F to find type Norton and the browser will highlight a program called Remove Norton Use that to completely remove Norton. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Use Bathroom Mirror for Morning Reminders I would occasionally leave the house in the mornings, forgetting to put my refrigerated lunch in my bag. To remember something for the next day (keys, documents, etc.), I use an old/stale lipstick to write a one-word reminder on my bathroom or vanity mirror. While putting on my makeup, it jogs my memory, and I see to it as soon as I'm done doing my makeup and hair. If you prepare a hot breakfast in the mornings, this tip can also remind you to make sure the stove is off before you leave the house. You can also tape a reminder note on your door knob, so that you will see it as you open your door to leave. Having the reminder on the door knob is especially good for keys. By Lily I read that most Dry-Erase markers also work well on mirrors and are easier to clean off than lipstick. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says, "I'll look for a bug." He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug "AHA!" Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?" The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?" The hotel manager says, "Well, the room under you complained about the chandelier falling on them!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded! "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman. "I doubt it," said the apparent drunk, "I am stone cold sober. I'm the Designated Decoy!"


Today, Oct 12, in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted 
 Watling Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had 
 found Asia while attempting to find a Western ocean 
 route to India. The same day he claimed the land for 
 Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain.
1792 The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus 
 was dedicated in Baltimore, MD.
1810 Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese 
 of Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public 
 to attend the event which became an annual celebration 
 that later became known as Oktoberfest.
1860 Inventor Elmer Sperry was born on this day. He held 
 patents on more than 400 inventions. The most important 
 being the Sperry Automatic Pilot.
1892 In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus 
 landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance 
 was first recited in public schools.
1920 Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened 
 on November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ 
 and New York City, NY.
1933 John Dillinger, bank robber, escaped from a jail 
 in Allen County, OH. The sheriff was killed by his gang 
 as they helped Dillinger escape.
1933 The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz 
 Island from the U.S. Army.
1960 Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on 
 his desk during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly.
1964 The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around 
 the Earth. It was the first space flight to have a 
 multi-person crew and the first flight to be performed 
 without space suits.
1972 During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out 
 aboard the U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 
 sailors were injured.
1976 China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed 
 the late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party.
1984 An attempt on British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher's 
 life was unsuccessful, but did take the lives of five 
 people. The bomb had been planted by the I.R.A.
1988 Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp. 
 would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon 
 for overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period.
1989 The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory 
 federal ban on the destruction of the American flag.
1994 Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted 
 political asylum by Panama.
1994 The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission 
 to Venus for the purpose of mapping.
1997 The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower 
 above Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 
1998 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online 
 Copyright Bill.
1999 In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a 
 bloodless coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. 
 The Supreme Court ruled that the coup was legal but 
 insisted that a civilian government be restored within 
 three years.
2000 In Aden, Yemen, the USS Cole, a U.S. Navy mine sweeper,
 experienced a large explosion while refueling. The explosion 
 was the result of a terrorist attack using a small boat. 17 
 crewmembers were killed and at least 39 were injured.
2000 In Denver, CO, the U.S. District Court denied Timothy 
 McVeigh's request for a new trial.
2001 A car bomb exploded in Madrid, Spain, that injured 
 17 people. Basque separatists claimed responsibility.
2002 In Bali, Indonesia, over 180 people were killed and 
 over 300 were injured when a bomb was detonated in a 
 nightclub district. 
2013  smiled

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