Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 13.
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Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things
which escape those who dream only by night.
--- Edgar Allan Poe (1809 - 1849)
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a
nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."
"Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud
I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong
bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon.
"All that might have been all right; but then, to make
matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish, while
he didn't catch any!"
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion,
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From a church bulletin: A family-type film, suitable for
both children and parents, will be shown at the Sunday
evening service at 6:00 p.m. Free puppies will be given to
all children not accompanied by a parent.
Thanks to NanaRina for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
La Crystal King-Woolfork, 28, Vero Beach, Floriduh
Jailed for Stabbing Boyfriend In Eye After
He Refused To Have Threesome With Her
Reported by The Weekly Vice
La Crystal King-Woolfork, a 28-year-old Florida woman, has
been jailed after she allegedly stabbed her boyfriend in
the eye with a knife after he turned down her request for
According to the Indian River Sheriff's Office, a deputy
was dispatched to Indian River Medical Center after a man
with a stab wound to the eye arrived to the ER for treatment.
The arriving deputy interviewed the victim, who stated that
his girlfriend stabbed him in the eye after he refused to
have sex with her.
He went on to say that he was at home sleeping at around
4 a.m. that morning when his girlfriend, King-Woolfork,
arrived home drunk and horny for sex. When he told
King-Woolfork that he wasn't interested in having sex that
night, she became angry and stabbed him in the eye with
The victim reportedly wrestled the knife away from
King-Woolfork, hid the knife so she couldn't find it, and
then asked a neighbor to give him a ride to the hospital.
Deputies also interviewed King-Woolfork who stated that
she and a female friend were at the Shake Your Booty dance
club that evening before returning home at around 4 a.m..
King-Woolfork went on to say that she and the female friend
were having sex next to the victim when she asked him to
join in. When the boyfriend refused to join, the female
friend reportedly left the bed. That's when King-Woolfork
reportedly picked up the knife and a struggle ensued between
King-Woolfork denied stabbing the victim with the knife,
but admitted to striking the victim several times in the
face with a metal candle holder.
Arguing the details about how the victim got stabbed in
the eye didn't matter much to deputies who took King-Woolfork
into custody and recovered the knife.
King-Woolfork was booked into the Indian River County Jail
and charged with attempted murder. Bail has not yet been
established in the case.
Tech Support Pits
Re: SBCGLOBAL mail problem
Each morning I look forward to reading your paper, this
morning it didn't arrive, I hope you can send me todays
issue. Thanks, Marjorie on sbcglobal.net
Just a routine Yahoo malfunction.
Once your newsletters, both regular and large font, have
entered the Yahoo server, there is nothing more that I
can do about them.
SBCGLOBAL is just a paid version of Yahoo, plus connection.
Like the free version of Yahoo, you are subject to their
Complaining to their support is usually a waste of time.
I would recommend, that you get yourself a Gmail address
on the side and gradually shift important stuff like phone
and electricity invoices, and of course the newsletters,
over to Gmail.
With Gmail you can benefit from their excellent filtering
and easy filter making, AND then forward the filtered mail
to wherever you want, even your Yahoo/SBCGLOBAL mail.
That way you can use whatever email program you currently
use for sorting and filing, and still have Gmail as an
archive to fall back on.
|If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing a Nail That Has Lost Its Head
When the nail head breaks off a nail, it can be tough to
get the claw of the hammer to grip the nail. To remove the
nail, slip the claw of the hammer over the remainder of the
nail and then pull the nail out by moving the hammer sideways
instead of straight out.
A Stanley or Eastwing nail puller is usually around $10.
The gripping ends are razor sharp and harder than a
If the wood is fine furniture, make it wet around the nail.
That softens it, and you can tap the colored end (Blue on
a Stanley) so that it depresses the wood and grips the nail.
It will plow a groove into even a hardened spiral nail.
Once you have a grip, slide a steel putty knife under the
curve, and with the awesome leverage of the nail puller,
easily pull it out.
Wetting the wood and using a
putty knife is of course just
for fine furniture, not for the
chicken coop or the kid's
Click through the pictrue
for larger size.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a
woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic
socks. "Will you open this so I can see how the socks feel?"
Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the
merchandise. She handed me the package, saying,
"I'll take them."
Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me.
"Can I have another pack? This one's been opened."
I told her: "I'll go talk to the manager", locked the till, took
the opened package and dropped it back on the shelf on
my way to a nap in the back of the warehouse.
I work in a school department that is supported by educational grants.
On his first day, my new boss delivered some bad news. He said,
"Unfortunately, your last boss failed to apply for the grant that
supports your work. You will be terminated at the end of this month. Did
you know that?" Admittedly, I was unprepared for this, but I was not
A week before the end of my tenure, the new boss came to me. He said,
"Before you go, please submit the lesson plans you would have used for
the next six months."
I said, "Oh, I'm sorry -- those lesson plans would have been covered
by the grant. Didn't you know that?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Today, Oct 13, in
54 The Roman emperor Claudius I died after being poisoned by
his wife, Agrippina.
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction
of a naval fleet.
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building was torched by the Cnucks in
1812, was whitewashed in 1818 and became known as the
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of
Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended
any further U.S. invasion of Canada.
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by
Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY.
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution.
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany.
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during WWII.
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units
landed at Piraeus.
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno.
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel
on an hour long special.
1977 Four Palestinians hijacked a Lufthansa airliner to Somalia.
They demanded the release of members of the Red Army Faction.
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as
the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated.
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow
of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega.
1990 Le Duc Tho died at the age of 79. He was a co-founder
of the Vietnamese Communist Party.
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours.
1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest.
1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT).
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground
in the San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days
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