Instant Start screen saver 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 14.
Thanksgiving Day in Canada.

Because Hagar the Horrible's great-grandfather discovered
Canada 550 years before Columbus discovered the Caribbean,
our Thanksgiving Day is earlier than the one in the USA.

It is celebrated the same way, though. Turkeys and pumpkins
are sacrificed, and leftovers are distributed to less 
fortunate neighbors, so that the kids don't whine about
five days of leftovers.

Have FUN!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. --- Margaret Mead
A man and his wife are driving on the highway when a state policeman appeared in their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull over. The man pulls over, the officer approaches the car and the following scene ensues: State cop: "License and registration please." Man: "I'm sorry officer, what seems to be the problem?" State cop: "I clocked you on radar doing 75mph." Man: "There must be some mistake, I was only going 65." Wife: "Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!" State cop: "I'm also citing you for having a tail light out." Man: "But officer, I wasn't aware it was out." Wife: "Oh Harold, you know it's been out for two months." State Cop: "I'm also fining you for not wearing your seat belt." Man: "But officer, I just took it off as you were a pproaching my car." Wife: "Oh Harold, you know you never wear your seat belt." Man: "Will you just shut your mouth, Betty?!" State Cop: "Ma'am, does he always talk to you this way? Wife: "Only when he's drunk."
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After years of his wife's pleading, this rich good ole' boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher's sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand. He said, "Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!" The Preacher replied, "Oh!! Why, thank you sir, but please, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use profanity in the Lord's house." The man said, "I'm sorry Reverend, but I can't help myself, it was such a damn good sermon!" The Reverend said, "Sir, PLEASE, I cannot have you behaving this way in Church!" The man said, "Okay Reverend, but I just wanted you to know that i thought it was so damn good, I put $5000 in that there collection plate." And the Reverend said, "No Shit? That was damn nice of you, Sir!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture by KDB: Click on the picture for the large version Burning Bush
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Voting works again!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Newlywed in Germany German groom forgets bride at gas station Reported by Mainichi BERLIN (AP) ^-- A German couple's marriage got off to a rocky start when the groom forgot his bride at a highway gas station on the way home from their honeymoon, only noticing she was missing after hours had passed. Police said Friday the couple was heading home to Berlin from France when the man pulled over near the central town of Bad Hersfeld late Thursday to fill up their van. The woman had been sleeping in the back but got up -- unbeknownst to the man -- to use the toilets and he drove off before she returned. Only after 2.5 hours on the road did he notice she was gone and called police, who said she was patiently waiting. Tech Support Pits From: Ricky Re: Instant Start Screensaver Dear Webby Wanted to ask you a questions. Is there a hotkey, or combination of keys I can hit real quick that will start my screensaver? I seem to remember being able to do that on the old mac that I used in elementary, now I am on Windows. Thanks, Ricky Dear Ricky Most of your screensavers are in directories, that are hidden by default. First you have to UN-hide them. In the File Explorer (Right-click START, click EXPLORE) click on TOOLS FOLDER OPTIONS VIEW In there tell it to SHOW hidden files, folders and drives, and take away the checkmark from HIDE EXTENSIONS from... That last one is totally insane, and nobody has ever figured out why that is still the default, after people have bitched about it for about 20 years. You NEED to know what kind of files you are dealing with! OK, once you have civilized things, do a Search for *.SCR files. That's the screensavers. Since they are not in the default search path, that might take a while. When the Search shows you a list of them, gently right-click one, and select "Open File Location" Usually that is a System directory like System32 In there, highlight one of the SCR files, right-click it, and make a shortcut to it. Drag that shortcut out onto the desktop. Now, whenever you click that shortcut, your screen saver will start instantly, and hides whatever you were doing. You can configure the screen saver so that it requires a password to go away. To do it that way, you need the longwinded procedure to set it up: Right-click your desktop, and then click Properties. In the Display Properties dialog box, click the Screen Saver tab. Click the Screen saver drop-down box, and then click a screen saver. Click the Preview button to see how the screen saver will appear on your monitor. Move your mouse or press a key to return to the Display Properties dialog box. Click the Settings button to change the standard behavior of the screen saver you selected. (Each screen saver has its own settings dialog box.) Then, click OK. In the Wait box, type the number of minutes the computer should wait to start the screen saver after you last touched the keyboard or mouse. If you are the only person who uses your computer and you are not concerned about security, clear the On resume, display Welcome Screen check box. Otherwise, leave this check box selected. Welcome Screen is the password prompt. if you don't want anybody to be able to snoop, while you are getting coffee, leave that checkbox checked. Click OK. That's it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Foam Pipe Insulation for Organizing Wires Foam pipe insulators are excellent for organizing loose wires. They come already slit, so the wires can be slipped right into them. They can be easily cut to any length and they come in either black or white. By Barb Careful there! Don't let any electrical or building or insurance inspector see that! They will pitch a temper tantrum! Electrical wires are rated for free air or conduit, and depend on radiating heat to keep from melting the insulation. Using short pieces of foam no longer than 2" is OK, but they have very little strength when they are that short. You can definitely use foam sleeves temporarily to sort out a mess, and then spiral colored electrical tape around the wires. You can get electrical tape in six prime colors, including writable white. Using one or two colors gives you 42 variations, which should be plenty for any home. (6 single colors plus 36 2 color combos) Use long, 1 turn per foot, or longer, spirals. The white electrical tape takes writing from Sharpies and even ball point pens. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Two husbands were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Chad said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Sherm, "how did you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Chad. "My last word is always 'Yes, Dear.' "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a grant application or article by grant appicants pretending to be scientists: "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... These data are practically meaningless. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"... The other results didn't fit my theory. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this sometime, if funded. "IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once "IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice "IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice "IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... It sounds good. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... My buddy thinks so, too. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong. "ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it. "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"... A wild guess. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over my beer. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either. "THANKS ARE DUE TO JOE BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY"... A totally useless topic selected by my committee. "IT IS HOPED THAT THIS STUDY WILL STIMULATE FURTHER INVESTIGATION IN THIS FIELD"... I quit.

Rain Forests

Today, Oct 14, in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of 
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile.
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph.
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in 
 Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest not serious 
 and he continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk 
 was captured at the scene of the shooting.
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane 
 speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour.
1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made debut.
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from 
 the League of Nations.
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide 
rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring 
 against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow.
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade 
 liberated the city of Athens.
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first 
 American to break the sound barrier.
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton
 Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 
 25,000 people.
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first 
 suggested the idea of a Peace Corps.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began when U.S. reconnaissance 
 aircrafts photographed Soviet construction of intermediate-
 range missile sites in Cuba.
1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace 
 Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in 
 America. He was the youngest person to receive the award.
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. 
 spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7.
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the 
 death of President Nasser.
1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. 
 wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the 
 arms race in space.
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned 
 well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours.
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant 
 politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole 
 responsibility for running Northern Ireland.
2013  smiled

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