Printing in landscape format 

Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 17

Have FUN!

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I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises. --- Buzz Aldrin, Astronaut (1930 - )
An old guy went to his doctor and said, "Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up." "That's not senility," replied the doctor. "Senility is when you forget to zip down."
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a hot day and are quite thirsty. They pass a busy bar and want to go in and get a drink but have no money. But the priest comes up with an idea that he thinks might work, so he goes in alone, telling to others that if his idea works they can all get free drinks. He orders his drink, and when he's finished with it, the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, "But son,... I already paid for the drink!" The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry father but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten." The priest goes out and tells the pastor and the rabbi what happened, so the pastor goes in next. The pastor orders his drink and then informs the bartender that he already had paid when the bartender asks him for the money. Again the bartender apologizes. Finally the rabbi goes in and orders his drink. Again the bartender gives him the tab and the rabbi tells him, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink." "I'm terribly sorry rabbi," says the bartender, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but your the third man of the cloth that I've done this to." "I'm sorry son," says the rabbi, "but I'm in a terrible hurry,... Just give me my change for the $20 I gave you, and I'll be on my way!"
Thanks to NanaRina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Gymnocalytium-Friederisii
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carlton Walker Jr, Middlesex County, Virginia Father Jailed After Firing Shotgun At Two Teens Who Returned His Daughter Home Late Reported by The Weekly Vice Carlton Walker Jr. of Middlesex County, Virginia was jailed earlier this month after he allegedly fired at two teenagers who attempted to bring his daughter home late. According to police, the concept of a father waiting at home with a shotgun became a reality for his daughter and two teenagers when the trio arrived home after midnight. Investigators say Walker became angry, grabbed a shotgun and confronted the two teens who were dropping his daughter off. When the two friends attempted to back out of the drive way, Walker allegedly blocked them in, pointed a shotgun at the vehicle and fired two rounds. Walker then instructed his wife to call police with the intention of having both teenagers charged with abduction. When officers arrived on the scene, they questioned the parties involved and took Walker into custody. He was charged with two counts of abduction, two counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a felony, and two counts of firing into an occupied vehicle. Tech Support Pits From: Trudy Re: Print in Landscape Dear Webby, I am sorry to bother you with this question: Besides your Humor Letter, my other favorite pasttime is knitting. I found some great patterns on the internet, but I am stomped. It says that I have to be in the landscape mode to make copies to fit on letter-size paper. I checked into the space, it is on landscape, but when I want to make copies, it still only prints about 3/4 of the pattern on each line. What gives?? Thank you for your help. I have a Microsoft XP. Thumbs up for your daily humor letter, it makes my day! Sincerely ---Trudy Dear Trudy I don't know the first thing about knitting and patterns. To print something like that, I would go into Page Setup File Page Setup From there on it differs, depending on what kid of printer you have. On mine, I can set up a bunch of "Named" defaults. Each of those can be totally different. For patterns, I would name that default "Patterns", change the orientation to "Landscape", set the color preferences, for example "Greyscale", so that light blue "anti-copy" sections come out as grey or black, set the dots per inch, for example 150, and save that. Then every time I print a pattern, I would select the "Patterns" default. My printer, a fairly old DELL 1320c, keeps defaults going, until a different default is selected. Some other printers revert to the built in "Standard" after turning it off and back on. Just play with it, and find out which type you have. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Avoiding the Flu and Winter Colds When I start to get sick, feeling feverish, any kind of sore throat, or just feeling like I am coming down with a cold or the flu, I immediately take 1000 milligrams of vitamin C and two echinacea with golden seal capsules (450 mg ea). I take this twice a day for two or three days and I have not had a cold or the flu in over 10 years. I don't know if it works for everyone, but it is definitely the right thing for me. By Sue from Norman, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Two neighbors appeared in court, each woman accusing the other of causing trouble in their building. "Let's get to the evidence," the judge said in an effort to end their bickering. "I'll hear the oldest woman first." The case was dismissed for lack of testimony.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Joe I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified section, though." I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!" She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells, coffee grounds and a few orange peels."

Cute Critter Pix

Today, Oct 17, in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, 
 NY. It was the turning point in the American 
 Revolutionary War.
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" 
 was released at newsstands.
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and 
 was sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released 
 in 1939.
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after 
 leaving Germany.
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina 
 after staging a coup in Buenos Aires.
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries 
 (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries 
 including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident stemmed 
 from Western support of Israel when Egypt and Syria 
 attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The embargo 
 lasted until March of 1974.
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored 
 full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President 
 Jefferson Davis.
1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel 
 Peace Prize.
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale 
 hit the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake 
 caused about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages 
 up to $7 billion.
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace 
 treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war.
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical 
 Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out 
 the assassination to avenge the killing of its leader 
 by Israel 2 months earlier.
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 
 1,676-foot-tall-building called Taipei 101.
2013  smiled

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